large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

NewShadow

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Which is why I can't understand why you would chose to go out for a meal. Do something you enjoy instead!

Reading this thread, that's something I don't get.

I might go bowling, or skating, or to watch a movie at the cinema with a friend.

I wouldn't bother to do those things by myself (they're more fun with company), and I wouldn't consider the trip ruined if we didn't 100% the experience - because I was doing it to spend time with a friend.

There's a place called st fagans (http://www.museumwales.ac.uk/stfagans/) - Basically acres of land and houses

My ex-MIL was someone who had to rush round and see everything or the day was "wasted".

Some people on here I think would share her view.

I always figured - It's not like it's not going to be here next weekend.

I get much more pleasure from going around a little bit at a time - either a new bit or an old favourite. Walking around slowly, enjoying the conversation of my companions, watching others have a good time.

I think some on this thread view meals out in the same way.

missbiggles1

PasturesNew wrote: »

I enjoy eating something I'd never cook myself. Or something I can't (easily) achieve, like a veggie biryani.

I like a nice pie - better than I'd be buying at Lidl, say. Or a nice fat sausage ... although most restaurants don't do mash well, it's wallpaper paste.

I don't know why you think I don't enjoy eating out. I do. And it's the most common form of 'invitation out' one encounters.

Nobody's said "let's take my boat out tomorrow, let's go water-skiing", or .... well, anything vaguely interesting.

But surely you could ask somebody to do something with you that you'd enjoy more - gong to the cinema, for a walk or a drink?

mumps

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

before we went she said to us that she didn't want any comments about what she did or didn't eat.

How awful that she felt the need to say that, why would anyone comment to anyone let alone someone with an eating disorder. I mean would anyone say to someone overweight, "Hey fatty, hope you're not going to stuff yourself tonight." I certainly hope they wouldn't.

Mind you I have got bored enough over the last 40 odd years with people trying to persuade me to drink alcohol or analyse what my "problem" with alcohol is. No problem with alcohol just with the people who think that because they like it everyone should.

Georgiegirl256

PasturesNew wrote: »

There's nothing awkward about veggies in my book. I don't eat a lot of meat, not bothered by it. Tend to eat it when out as it's a novelty and veggie choices are rank
.

I'm the opposite in that when I go out for a meal I'll nearly always have the veggie option as I think they're really tasty!

You remind me of a girl from work (in that you stick to what you like) who always without fail had Scampi and Chips every single time we went out, and would rule out a place that didn't have that on it's menu. She said she hated all vegetables and was extremely fussy.

I guess people know what they like and what they don't like, but I think sometimes it's good to branch out and try new things. I used to hate the thought of eating mushrooms, but now I love them!

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

How awful that she felt the need to say that, why would anyone comment to anyone let alone someone with an eating disorder. I mean would anyone say to someone overweight, "Hey fatty, hope you're not going to stuff yourself tonight." I certainly hope they wouldn't.

Mind you I have got bored enough over the last 40 odd years with people trying to persuade me to drink alcohol or analyse what my "problem" with alcohol is. No problem with alcohol just with the people who think that because they like it everyone should.

I think she didn't even want a 'well done' as encouragement if she ate more than usual. She didn't want it mentioned at all. (Not that any of us would, but she was just making sure it didn't happen).

Please don't YOU start saying I don't have a good relationship with my friends!!

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

How awful that she felt the need to say that, why would anyone comment to anyone let alone someone with an eating disorder. I mean would anyone say to someone overweight, "Hey fatty, hope you're not going to stuff yourself tonight." I certainly hope they wouldn't.

Mind you I have got bored enough over the last 40 odd years with people trying to persuade me to drink alcohol or analyse what my "problem" with alcohol is. No problem with alcohol just with the people who think that because they like it everyone should.

I have known people say similar things to that to overweight people. 'You're not going to eat ALL THAT are you?'

Alcohol? Well I like a glass of wine or three, but if people don't want to drink, fine. My husband's cousin is teetotal just because she doesn't like the taste. She's great to go out with as she is always happy to drive

(Before anyone jumps on me, the above is meant to be humorous, I like her for other reasons than that she is the designated driver ).

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

Well, firstly I don't really know anybody, except one person - and in the list of priorities in their life I'd come after pet, house, parents, siblings, older/lifelong friends, miscellaneous dogwalkers they meet daily. So I'm a long way down their list of being available.

I don't like the cinema, I can't follow films, I don't understand what's going on and I have recognition problems, so I can't work out the difference between some of the actors (if they're vaguely similar), nor can I read any of their body language nor facial expressions, so I need somebody to sit with me and explain what's going on and what I "missed" when it loses me.

I don't walk. Only person I could walk with has an ever-present pet that's the number 1 priority, dictating when/where and for how long any walk is .... and to say that 1/4 of a mile's the limit wouldn't be exaggerating. I could walk, but I don't find it interesting.

Not a drinker, all public spaces are a problem due to hypersensitivity issues re lighting/noise and pubs can tend to have additional layers of complexity with people's movements. So, in the main, unless it's a quiet pub, with comfy chairs, I'm not really into it - and people who go out for a drink tend to prefer the trendier/louder/brighter places.

There are a lot of barriers/challenges to a lot of environments that I have to work round.

Eating out is, in the right place, the best/easiest thing to do.

I can't follow plots either, it's one reason I don't like going to the cinema.

I like watching a film at home with my husband as he can pause it and explain what is happening.

mumps

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I think she didn't even want a 'well done' as encouragement if she ate more than usual. She didn't want it mentioned at all. (Not that any of us would, but she was just making sure it didn't happen).

Please don't YOU start saying I don't have a good relationship with my friends!!

I didn't mean you would say it but presumably someone in the past has made remarks or she wouldn't have felt the need to say it. Anorexia is such an awful condition and so many people don't understand it.

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I have known people say similar things to that to overweight people. 'You're not going to eat ALL THAT are you?'

Alcohol? Well I like a glass of wine or three, but if people don't want to drink, fine. My husband's cousin is teetotal just because she doesn't like the taste. She's great to go out with as she is always happy to drive

Just as rude to say something like that to the overweight, I've never heard anyone be that insensitive.

I never understand why being teetotal is so unacceptable to some people. I would never sit there saying, "Oh it's so wonderful not to drink alcohol, look at the money/calories/hangovers I save myself. It is like a personal insult to some people if you don't want to drink. Although my husband and I are teetotal all my kids drink alcohol and its never been an issue in the house. I wish people would just be more tolerant. If someone doesn't like chocolate I wouldn't try and force them to eat it, I'd just think more for the chocolate lovers so why don't drinkers think that?

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

I didn't mean you would say it but presumably someone in the past has made remarks or she wouldn't have felt the need to say it. Anorexia is such an awful condition and so many people don't understand it.



Just as rude to say something like that to the overweight, I've never heard anyone be that insensitive.

I never understand why being teetotal is so unacceptable to some people. I would never sit there saying, "Oh it's so wonderful not to drink alcohol, look at the money/calories/hangovers I save myself. It is like a personal insult to some people if you don't want to drink. Although my husband and I are teetotal all my kids drink alcohol and its never been an issue in the house. I wish people would just be more tolerant. If someone doesn't like chocolate I wouldn't try and force them to eat it, I'd just think more for the chocolate lovers so why don't drinkers think that?

I absolutely agree with you. I have friends who I can enjoy a glass of wine with and those who don't drink at all, some for medical reasons and some because they chose not to. I'll get fizzy water or schloer in for them instead (or a cup of tea if it's my husband's cousin ).

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

I didn't mean you would say it but presumably someone in the past has made remarks or she wouldn't have felt the need to say it. Anorexia is such an awful condition and so many people don't understand it.


?

In the midst of her anorexia she once told me she had put some weight on and I say, 'oh, that's good isn't it?' and she was very upset and got cross with me and said it was the worst thing I could have said. I got cross back and said I wasn't a psychiatrist, I didn't always know the right thing to say, however, I was busting a gut to be a supportive friend to her and if sometimes I got it wrong, that's because I am only human. I also said that the fact that she'd put on weight WAS good, she only thought it wasn't because of her condition.

We stopped speaking to each other for about two minutes, then we hugged each other and I asked her that if there was ever anything again that might lead to misunderstanding, for her to say so and to tell me what would be an appropriate response.

So I think she said what she did because of that. I'm glad she did.