large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Fortunately we'll never have to eat a meal together which will be, I'm sure, a relief to us both.:)

Still not got an answer for why your meal would be ruined if I ate a different number of courses to you? Didn't think so.

seven-day-weekend

I suppose it's the attitude that matters. If someone is disapproving of those eating or drinking more, or someone casting aspersions on the food or drink that others are enjoying, then that will cast a shadow on the whole proceedings. But if it's a cheerful smile and 'no thanks, I don't want any more, you carry on', then that is a different scenario.

seven-day-weekend

I have been in a similar (I think) scenario recently. A group of friends were having a Murder Mystery evening. Now I can't imagine a much worse and un-relaxing way to spend an evening than dressing up and putting on a silly voice. I would hate it.

However, I would actually like to sit and watch the performance. It would be enjoyable for me to try and guess who was the murderer.

It was obvious though, that me doing this would spoil the evening for my friends. They wanted everybody to take part (and enjoy it). So I politely declined the invitation.

(I suppose if I'd have had some sort of disability that prevented me taking part, that would have been different. It was my choice not to do so that would have spoilt it for them).

Is that a similar scenario?

onlyroz

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I suppose it's the attitude that matters. If someone is disapproving of those eating or drinking more, or someone casting aspersions on the food or drink that others are enjoying, then that will cast a shadow on the whole proceedings. But if it's a cheerful smile and 'no thanks, I don't want any more, you carry on', then that is a different scenario.

Well yes, the person on a perpetual diet who orders a salad and then proceeds to preach at everyone about how many calories they're all consuming will probably put a dampener on events. But I don't see how the person who says "sorry I have a small appetite but go ahead and order what you want" can possibly "ruin" the meal.

As for forcing the whole table to order starters and a main when some might prefer a main and a pud, I don't get that either.

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

Nobody disapproves.... they can have what they want. But some seem to do it assuming everybody else is happy/able to pay.

That's a very special kind of arrogance and sense of entitlement.

If they're not with friends/family where everybody meets regularly, if they're with people they aren't with often, or ever, then they should realise that maybe their excesses should be paid for by them (for once).

What people do with their family/close friends who they meet with regularly, that "balances out over time" is one thing. But to then make an assumption that others are content to pay for their excesses is the issue. The blind assumption.

If I go out with my sibling and order a soup and water and she chows down on a bottle of wine, starter, main, dessert .... I might be happy to pay her bill in its entirety, without a thought. If you/I met for lunch and you did that, when the bill came you'd find me putting my £5 down and saying "that should cover it"... as you're trying to divide £35 into two and add a tip.

I said IF someone disapproves. I have been with people who do.

onlyroz

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I have been in a similar (I think) scenario recently. A group of friends were having a Murder Mystery evening. Now I can't imagine a much worse and un-relaxing way to spend an evening than dressing up and putting on a silly voice. I would hate it.

However, I would actually like to sit and watch the performance. It would be enjoyable for me to try and guess who was the murderer.

It was obvious though, that me doing this would spoil the evening for my friends. They wanted everybody to take part (and enjoy it). So I politely declined the invitation.

(I suppose if I'd have had some sort of disability that prevented me taking part, that would have been different. It was my choice not to do so that would have spoilt it for them).

Is that a similar scenario?

I don't see how you would spoil it if you sat and enjoyed the show while your friends participated. It's like taking aged granny with you for a day at a theme park. She might not want to go on the rides but will still enjoy watching the kids have fun.

seven-day-weekend

onlyroz wrote: »

I don't see how you would spoil it if you sat and enjoyed the show while your friends participated. It's like taking aged granny with you for a day at a theme park. She might not want to go on the rides but will still enjoy watching the kids have fun.

But there will be lots of other people not on the rides, not just aged granny. Also, being 'aged' is a good reason not to go on the rides. I don't see this as the same scenario.

(I would never, ever have gone on the rides, even in my youth, so I don't go to theme parks ).

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

No. A Murder Mystery evening is a sit down meal with entertainment, so it's not the same thing. It's an "experience meal", rather than being an entertainment with a bit of food.

It's the sort of thing where you're either completely in, or completely out. They need sleuthers to make the entertainment - but they need bums on seats eating food to make the profit margin calculated to evaluate whether providing murder/mystery nights was a profitable venture for the venue.

This was in a private home and it was just friends and family, it wasn't in a restaurant. About ten people in all.

Georgiegirl256

PasturesNew wrote: »

Yes, sticky toffee pudding & custard -v- a bit of lettuce with some goop on it ... no contest.

Only a bunch of psychos would choose a starter over a dessert ....

What yer saying like? :mad:

seven-day-weekend

PasturesNew wrote: »

They're just selfish then, if there's room. Of course, the catering requirements could dictate it. Were they cooking the meal themselves? Or did they buy in a "package" where they're charged per head? You'd be counted/charged as a head if it were an outside catering firm organising it.

We would not have been there for the meal, they ate first, just their ordinary family evening meal, then had the Murder Mystery afterwards.