large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Pollycat

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

That would annoy me too, as I don't like wine either.

My BIL is abit like that, very pompous and assuming. Thinking he's some sort of Oz Clarke and he knows what's the best wine to go with what and just assuming everyone is fine with it.

I do like wine but it would annoy me too.

Much more polite to ask round the table (I'm thinking about going for a meal with friends so not a very large party) if people fancy wine and if so red, white or rose.
Then you can look at the menu and decide which variety everyone fancies.
And leave the people who want a pint, G&T, soft drink or water to order theirs.

Ordering 'wine for the table' is pretty presumptious imho.

Andypandyboy

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Maybe and then maybe not. There can be pitfalls in any social situation. It's possible to sit at home quietly (ie not even socialising) and notice that other people nearby are up to something that's immoral, illegal or both and find that things get a bit "fraught" when they realise keeping quiet about it is your definition of "covering up for them" - so you don't (keep quiet that is). :rotfl:

As you quoted me I'll bite......

Tenous link to eating out, or are you suggesting that splitting the bill is illegal or immoral?:rotfl:

I am not sure your comment has anything to do with my quote or indeed the thread, but if you would care to explain the link I would be fascinated.

Andypandyboy

PasturesNew wrote: »

Well, it sounds like at least one of them doesn't like at least one of you.

People who like people welcome their presence, even if it's not for "the full experience" as they'd envisaged it.

They're not that into you.... it would appear.

That is quite a rude comment, and not in the least bit humourous.

Georgiegirl256

Peter333 wrote: »

LOL, we have a neighbour like that. He invited me and my wife, and his brother around some months back to taste this exquisite port he had got from Rome (or somewhere terribly exotic!) And it was 15/16 years old. He was so proud of this 1999 port! And he was a little snooty about wine and port, like he knew more than everyone else about it.

Well he opened it, and I don't know what happened, but it tasted like sour lemons. Me and my wife smiled politely, and I said 'unusual taste.'

Long story short, his brother said 'Jeez, the cork must have come dislodged, this tastes like cat pee.' :rotfl:

He got put firmly in his place!

:rotfl: That sounds like my SIL (the BIL mentioned aboves wife), she's very particular about her cheese board and port! Every Christmas she tries to get me to try it and every year I tell her that I don't like Cheese (unless it's Red Leicester) and I don't like Port....tbh it's getting abit boring now.

She was appauled when I said the only way I like Port is mixed with a blue wicked to make a cheeky vimto!

Pollycat wrote: »

I do like wine but it would annoy me too.

Much more polite to ask round the table (I'm thinking about going for a meal with friends so not a very large party) if people fancy wine and if so red, white or rose.
Then you can look at the menu and decide which variety everyone fancies.
And leave the people who want a pint, G&T, soft drink or water to order theirs.

Ordering 'wine for the table' is pretty presumptious imho.

That would be a much more polite way to do it. I think it's very presumptuous, but those doing it think they are doing everyone a favour!

onlyroz

missbiggles1 wrote: »

As I said earlier (perhaps you missed it?) several people gave explanations many pages back. I'm afraid it isn't our fault that you couldn't understand them.:D

So you don't have an answer then to why your meal would be ruined if I ate a different number of courses to you? Didn't think so.

However, I do think my own meal would be ruined if you told me that I must buy three courses that I didn't want, and had no chance of finishing, just to make you feel better. I think the restaurant owners would be insulted too, if I left most of the food I ordered - would you be willing to explain to them that you had made me order twice as much food as I wanted just to make you feel better, and that I wasn't actually insulting them or their kitchen staff?

mumps

This thread has made me remember a Christmas lunch many years ago, I think it was the early 70s. We had all been putting money into a kitty every month when we got paid so we could go out for a posh Christmas meal. It was a really nice restaurant, probably the poshest place I had ever been at the time. The meal was five courses if I remember correctly and it was a very nice meal and it did go on for hours. All was well until the men were given expensive cigars and brandy at the end of the meal and we got coffee and a posh mint. Now speaking personally I preferred the coffee and mint but a few women got annoyed as it was obvious that the men had got rather more for their money than the women. The spirit of Christmas was rather ruined, none of the women actually wanted a cigar but a few wanted the brandy.

Andypandyboy

I think it is just that it appears people have a different level of expectation to others. If everyone has the same expectations there are no problems. A group of people who socialise regularly fall into a pattern and it is only when someone new is added on that problems could arise.

For example, every January 12 of us go to a dinner in Leeds. We only meet with one other couple from the group during the rest of the year. We always buy wine for the table, we always buy in rounds. This has happened for the last ten years, it is what we do. Now, if a new couple came along should we change what we do to suit them or should we expect them to fit in?

From my perspective, if that was us joining a group I would fall in with what the majority did and consider it good manners to do so.

Peter333

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

:rotfl: That sounds like my SIL (the BIL mentioned aboves wife), she's very particular about her cheese board and port! Every Christmas she tries to get me to try it and every year I tell her that I don't like Cheese (unless it's Red Leicester) and I don't like Port....tbh it's getting abit boring now.

She was appauled when I said the only way I like Port is mixed with a blue wicked to make a cheeky vimto!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: That sounds like it would be VERRRRRY sweet!

Andypandyboy

mumps wrote: »

This thread has made me remember a Christmas lunch many years ago, I think it was the early 70s. We had all been putting money into a kitty every month when we got paid so we could go out for a posh Christmas meal. It was a really nice restaurant, probably the poshest place I had ever been at the time. The meal was five courses if I remember correctly and it was a very nice meal and it did go on for hours. All was well until the men were given expensive cigars and brandy at the end of the meal and we got coffee and a posh mint. Now speaking personally I preferred the coffee and mint but a few women got annoyed as it was obvious that the men had got rather more for their money than the women. The spirit of Christmas was rather ruined, none of the women actually wanted a cigar but a few wanted the brandy.

Sexism!:D It is like the Indian restaurants that give the men Brandy and the women Bailey's, as if everyone should confirm to that taste set.

mumps

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Sexism!:D It is like the Indian restaurants that give the men Brandy and the women Bailey's, as if everyone should confirm to that taste set.

It caused such trouble, the lady who had organised it, think Hyacinth Bucket, was in tears and men started getting money out to pay for the cigars and plonking it in front of the women who were moaning. I was quietly eating some discarded mints and having a refill of coffee. It was strangely fascinating if unpleasant.