Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

calleyw

Izzy,

Thank you for info. I will take a look when I get access to the car.

Yes. But they spent a decent amount at xmas on us. Dash cam, sd card and other bits and pieces.

Mind you I got some reduced christmas cards for my mum. They where to my grandson ones. Cost me 20p each got 4 and she said how much do I owe you :rotfl::rotfl:umm I went nowt mum.

Yours

Calley X

calleyw

jobbingmusician wrote: »

cally, I love red wine. I am a naked angel!!!!! (Naked are an online wine company, and angels have a regular subscription there lol) Naked wines are lush, but it's probably too much faff to join just to give a gift.

Alternatively I find Lidl wines are really brill VFM. My favourite there is Australian Merlot (with a yellow label) but this is less than a fiver. I think you could trust them if you just bought a more expensive bottle there, that it would be much better quality than you would get in other places. (Their rhubarb and ginger gin is also rather good )

JM,

Thanks for that info. I don't drink wine at all so have no idea. I am more of a lambrini and koppar berg cider girly :rotfl:

Will take a look if I can get the car tonight. To go shopping.

Yours

Calley X

onomatopoeia99

My approach with anything that seems perhaps too generous is to ask once "are you sure?" or similar, and if they say yes, then thank them, say they are very kind and no more about it after that. I figure that one chance to reconsider is enough, more would make me seem ungrateful.

jobbingmusician wrote: »

cally, I love red wine. I am a naked angel!!!!! (Naked are an online wine company, and angels have a regular subscription there lol) Naked wines are lush, but it's probably too much faff to join just to give a gift.

So am I! Never had a bad bottle from them, the only problem I have is actually finishing a bottle on my own over 3/4 evenings before it turns.:rotfl:

In reds I like a Rioja or Malbec, but wouldn't be able to recommend one from an off licence or supermarket as I don't get wine in those places any more.

Pyxis

I don't know about willpower per se, but the Dry January app has some good articles, and one was about understanding cravings.

It referred to drinking alcohol, natch, but the points it makes can just as easily apply to something else...... chocolate, coffee, coke etc., biscuits, smoking, etc. etc.

This is the full article, but I have extracted a little bit of it below.

https://www.alcoholconcern.org.uk/blog/coping-with-cravings


QUOTE
If the desire for a ......... (fill in the blank) seems to get bigger and stronger and you fear that it won't go away until you give in here's a fun fact: the average craving lasts for just six minutes.

If you can find a distraction for just a few minutes, your craving will diminish.

What could you do in six minutes - make a cuppa, fire off a couple of emails, write a shopping list, phone a friend? Make a list of six-minute fillers so that the next time you get a craving, you've got something else to focus on.



Cravings can be set off by cues - triggers that set you on the path to wanting a .......... (fill in blank).

It's really helpful to be able to identify what's causing your craving - is it an emotion, a thought, time of the day, seeing someone else eating/drinking it?

Once you have identified what led to your craving, you can start finding ways to beat them.
UNQUOTE

By the way, I'm on day 8 now!

For me, three quarters of the battle is not having any in the house.
I identified a couple of triggers, and temporarily I am having a glass of a sparkly soft drink when those triggers occur.
As I'm not a great lover of fizzy drinks, I will gradually phase those out.

elsien

For me it's not a craving so much, as being told that I can't do something which immediately makes me want to do it twice as much. I think I just like to be contrary, even when it's just me telling me. Bit silly really, but there you go.

Izadora

I don't necessarily need to cut down how often I drink (I could still decide to take part in dry January if I wanted to even though I've not been trying not to drink) but I would like to cut down on the amount I have on the occasions when I do drink. It's like I don't have an off switch once I've started.

I'm on day 2 of dieting and not smoking and, even though it's in no way easy, it's not quite as bad as I feared.

onomatopoeia99

Izadora wrote: »

It's like I don't have an off switch once I've started.

I used to be like that when the opportunity presented in company and I wasn't driving, not to falling down drunk, but "going to be a hangover I could do without" level of drunk.

New Year's eve 1999/2000 cured me of getting properly drunk ever again :eek:, never want to feel like that again. After that I paid attention to the warning signs and stop drinking when I reach the "If I have any more I won't like the consequences" point.

Pyxis

Izadora wrote: »

I don't necessarily need to cut down how often I drink (I could still decide to take part in dry January if I wanted to even though I've not been trying not to drink) but I would like to cut down on the amount I have on the occasions when I do drink. It's like I don't have an off switch once I've started.

I'm on day 2 of dieting and not smoking and, even though it's in no way easy, it's not quite as bad as I feared.

One of the things the Dry January people said was that it resets your relationship with alcohol. It's not meant to be a give-up-for-good thing, but the 'pause' allows you to see what it's like when you don't drink in situations where you normally would, and to discover, possibly, triggers you didn't realise were there.

It helps to put you back in control.

I remember one time, a few years ago, when I went to a lunchtime party, and had to drive there, so I didn't drink. Everyone else was a neighbour, so they weren't driving, as so they drank as much as they wanted.

They weren't blind drunk, but in my sober state, I could see how silly some of them were getting, with the odd slurred word or sentence that didn't make a huge amount of sense, plus the eyelids starting to drool and their gait becoming a bit wobbly.

It made me feel that I didn't want to be in that 'state', and, as I said, they weren't even blind drunk, just tipsy, I suppose.

I pretty much stopped drinking out of the house after that, even if I wasn't driving, and even on holidays where wine was included. (Well, I can't drink wine anyway, so that was another reason!)

It's little eye-openers like that which make this dry month useful.

Katapolt

Hi all, im new here so im sorry if i get any of the rules wrong. I've been debating for a little while about trying talking therapies again. i did CBT and counselling a few years back, but didnt really know what to do or say. I also think it would be good for my sister. Shes suffering really badly with her Depression at the moment and im at a loss as to how i can help.

does anyone think talking therapies are worth it? i dont really earn enough to see a specialist or anything, but i dont know what else to do, i just dont want to keep feeling this way.

Pyxis

Hallo Katapolt! Welcome!

What do talking therapies entail? Is it a group thing where you share experiences?


My feeling is that anything is worth a go. It's difficult to advise as different things work for different people.

You've already tried CBT and counselling; presumably they didn't work too well for you?