Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

heartbreak_star

Well done on making the call Juanita!

Gingernutty, is there a charity that I could give a donation to in lieu of sponsoring you?

HBS x

pollyanna_26

Juanita Well done for facing your fear and ringing the Doctors . It's very usual for the ring until we can give you an appointment to happen .
Did they tell you what times to ring ? Usually the phone is switched on at a specific time and it's just a case of holding on until you're next . It may take some days to see the doctor but if you stick it out and keep trying it will be worth it .

If you haven't started a claim for carers allowance please do , it will get you some priority and support from the carers association .

I'm pleased Liam does get outdoors . I hope things get moving with the school .you just have to keep up the pressure .
polly

Gingernutty

I'm going for a hearing test today. Wish me luck. :eek:

pollyanna_26

Good luck today GN and well done on all you've achieved recently . We have a collecting box in our surgery for our local hospice so i will be putting money in there tomorrow morning on your behalf .
polly

Juanita37

OMG!!!!!
Liams been accepted in the school with full funding for transport until he's 16!! Honestly u don't not understand the weight that's just lifted off my head and heart!!
Looks like he won't start until November properly it'll be a few visits a week and continued tutoring 1 hour a day until then but omg I'm so relieved right now.
Plus all the schools support groups are open to h from today onwards. I will keep on with the doctors cos I don't want to be like this anymore I need it to stop but for today that's the best news we've had for months.
Big hugs to all who need them I'm actually on cloud 9 right now :A

last_mile

Hi All,
I have signed up under a new name to keep some distance between this and other posts (sorry).
I am really struggling with the relationship between my partner and I.
He has long suffered from anxiety and depression and in the past has caused problems for me in my work place with business travel etc.
We got married late last year after 10 years together and I have to say it wasn't easy.
In the run up to the wedding he was unhelpful saying things that upset me and isolated me.
He wasn't abusive or anything but he often didn't take interest saying things like " let me know when its 6 months to go" then 3 months etc without offering any help.
He always used the reasoning "thats what bridesmaids are for" when I was hand making the invites and decor to save money.
He left me feeling alone and isolated because i don't have a large friends group and he has differing opinions on those I do have.
I shoulder some of the blame in that I started a conversation with a man (from america) during the loneliest times about brexit/trump vote on a chat group and this man took things to far by sending an explicit photo. I didnt immediately close out the convo, I left it over night and was going to stop conversing with him but my OH went into my phone and found the convo.
I have apologised and apologiesed to him for this but he uses it all the time and states i made him "like this".
He decided that medication isn't for him and i support him if he feels that then it is right.
He doesn't want to talk to someone as he's not "a talky person" .

I dont know where I expect this to lead i think I'm just feeling very low and maybe I am slipping into the world of D. but i'm constantly walking on eggshells never knowing how he will be from 1 minute to the next. I can never arrange anything because if it is just me he breaks down and if its the two of us he often backs out at the last moment because he doesn't want to be around people. I understand this is a symptom of depression and anxiety but its very difficult to continually have to explain why you didn't go or don't want to do something.

Gingernutty

He's admitted there's a problem, won't do anything about it and emotionally blackmails you into shouldering responsibility for him?

http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

Try here first. Then think about counselling for yourself. Then think about leaving.

He's controlling and emotionally abusive.

geminilady

last mile.
I think most men are not really interested in wedding preparations it is mostly women that arrange things.I can understand him being upset about the explicit picture and don't understand why you did not stop contact immediately.I think your husbands needs reassurance that you still love him and are not interested in anyone else.Would he consider going for joint counselling ? they are trained to get people who are not "talky to open up.If he won't I would still get some help for yourself if you feel you are sinking into depression.

last_mile

@gingernutty it's not the first time that has crossed my mind.
i'm just afraid of what he might do to himself if I end it all. he is truly depressed and has attacks of detachment from the world.
it has other problems in that he works for a company with only 4 people in the office and my brother is his boss.
Us separating would most likely result in him losing his job or quitting it.
this then leads to him falling into debt and spiralling further.
i dont want to hurt him, i never did.

last_mile

@geminilady i agree with the wedding prep and if i felt like like his was normal then it might not have bothered me so much but it was the constant ignoring of the subject an then the driving of a wedge between me and the Bridesmaids but being unwell to help me.
i paid for every bit of that wedding and he wouldnt even help stick 2 pieces of paper together without making it know he didnt have to help because it was a bridesmaids job.
on the whole photo situ, i cant say why i didnt stop immediately. i didnt answer after the pic but i think i was just enjoying that someone was actually listen to what i was saying even if it was just dribble.
he knows i still love him and would do anything for him.
I'd consider anything but he's not willing.