Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

System

slightly odd question but does anyone else have distinct voices in their head? i don;t mean other people voices, but like when you're thinking/speaking to yourself? I seem to have 2 distinct sides in my head, the self destructive one that comes out when my mood is low and generally fuels bad choices, and the better one that is a motivating one that tries to make me feel better. Like just tonight the two had an arguement and i felt i was in the middle of it. This sounds crazy. Its like i'm arguing with myself. As i say i dont think iim hearing voices as its me talking to myself , but i do feel theres 2 sides at war in my head.

Pyxis

I don't really know a lot about voices, but do you feel you don't have any control over them?

WaS would be the one to ask about this. You could try sending her a pm, (but she might not be feeling well enough to deal with reading them).

onomatopoeia99

MU, when I talk to myself in my head without speaking, it sounds (for want of a better word) like I hear myself when I speak out loud.

Pyxis

MU, I've been thinking about this.

If the voices are your own, I would suggest that it's just you trying to makes sense of everything.

A bit like the old description of having a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

I've had a quick google, and although hearing voices can be a symptom of bipolar disorder, and also can be a side effect of drugs etc. , none of the references referred to hearing your own voice as the voices, so I would suggest that you are are just currently more aware of something that we all do to some degree or another.

I very often have conversations with other people in my head. It's my way of preparing for a situation, a bit like having a rehearsal. It can also be a way of me composing a letter to myself, putting things into a rational order, etc.

So your arguments with yourself are probably an extension of that kind of thing.

Izadora

Pyxis wrote: »

I would suggest that you are are just currently more aware of something that we all do to some degree or another.

MU, I think Pyxis is right. It's not something that I'd ever considered but whenever I'm working through stuff/arguing with myself it is always my voice that I hear.

Typing that's made me realise that I pretty much hear my own voice saying what I'm writing as well. Being aware of this could get quite annoying quite quickly

dandy-candy

MU, as other say if it's your own voice then it's the same for everyone. I often chew things over in my mind "what if I do this?" "Oh no it won't work because of xyz" "maybe that?" "Yes that might work" etc. That's pretty normal as a in-head conversation.

surveyqueenuk

MU, a psychiatrist once told me that the voices outside your head that were the ones to be worried about. Ones which make you look up or turn around or startle you. The ones inside our heads are really just mental chatter, for want of a better phrase. Just our minds working through things and considering outcomes etc.

Lambyr

PENGUIN for Torry

Oh, that's good that it's not at that stage yet. Sorry if I jumped too far ahead! Hope the radiotherapy goes well.

END PENGUIN

MU,

I'm not sure who wrote it (possibly Sana Sheikh as his name is sticking in my head at the mo!), but it is believed that most of us have various internal battle that manifest in our mind. The battle between the logical and the emotional, the rational and irrational, etc.

For most of us, we don't hear their arguments but only feel their outcomes in the way we make decisions, or the words we say. Because the brain is usually faster than any computer we can imagine, these "debates" are usually resolved instantly with only the more complex causing us to hesitate.

Depression, however, is malware for the mind and like malware can slow down a computer, depression and other mental health issues slow down how fast our brain debates itself. When it is sufficiently slow, then we become aware of these debates taking place - in your case, it sounds like the pessimistic vs the optimistic and you're becoming aware of them.

Another thing is that neuroscientists have discovered that the brain reprogrammes itself based on our experiences. This is why we have phenomena such as confirmation bias, whereas if a belief is held to be true, an individual will still continue to side with evidence that supports the belief even if there is substantial evidence to the contrary.

In people with mental health problems, the process of rewriting the neural pathways can become muddled because our experiences are so conflicted. Keeping with the computer analogies, it's like disk fragmentation. Your experiences differ to such extremes that the brain struggles to pull out all the relevant data in a timely manner.

So yeah, it's completely understandable and believable that you would feel your mind arguing with itself and maybe even hear it too. Most of us learn to ignore the voice in our head, the same way we learn to ignore the smell of our own clothes or the fact we're blinking (sorry, that'll get some people thinking about that!) but at times we hear it again, usually when we're under duress or when something causes us to remember that it is there.

Pyxis

Greta analogy, Lambyr!



I'm frequently in what I call my stand-by mode. (When I have to zone out for a bit due to overload).

And we all need a reboot (up the bum, too) from time to time.

And I suppose an old-fashioned break-down is our hard disc crashing.


If only we could just switch ourselves off and on again!

UKTigerlily

Hey everyone,

I'm not sure where to put this, as it's not at all money saving but I need to get it out/rant. Please feel free to move it if necessary, and i'm sorry to the OP if it's not ok to put it here. I do have mental health issues, and that is why i'm so upset, but don't think it's a trigger topic.

Ok, so I live next door to a guy, let's call him Ben. He has lived next door to me for about 5/6 years & we're friends (not close on his side, close on mine). I don't have many people in my life, just him & 1 other guy, and admit I am very emotionally attached to him.

Ok, I have Borderline/Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, so feel things very strongly, and have seen him as being like a big Brother in a way, as we aren't friends as in I can't hang out with him/call him for a chat etc but he always looks after me in a practical way eg DIY/fixing things, lifting/moving stuff & he has always been really protective & has sorted stuff when other guys were causing issues.

I noticed recently (sorry this will be long), that he always makes an excuse & leaves within minutes of talking to me & that he doesn't text back & forth like he sometimes did (just laughing & messing around. I also am having someone tell me he is on Cocaine & lots of things, so have been hugely worried about that but also wanting to stop any rumours.

I asked to talk to him, as I wanted to let him know what has been said & see if it's true, as either way I felt that if it were me, i'd want to know. Also, apparenly if it's true he won't be able to stop himself being very aggressive to me & then i'd be in trouble (so says the one who told me this, I don't take any drugs so have no idea)

I asked him, by text, if i'd said or done anything to cause him to withdraw, as sometimes I can hurt people without meaning too, and I missed his texts as that was all I had from him or anyone, and it made me feel he was withdrawing from me, due to the disappearing when he sees me also.

Anyway, he has ignored all texts, but I know he's getting them, and he knows it's hurting me a lot, because I don't want to have hurt him, but also don't know why he's withdrawing. Then because he knows he's hurting me, when all I want to do is resolve it, it hurts more

He isn't usually like this at all . . . he is a bit shy, someone who keeps to himself but would be the first to help you, protective etc but is having more moods lately & has said before that if he doesn't reply, he's in a mood & needs to be left alone.

A LOT adds up to point to Cocaine use, but obviously I won't know unless he tells me (he is a Cannabis user/supplier) . . I do wonder if that is why he's changed & withdrawn & so he just can't tell me why.

I asked him today if we can't just sort things, and he shrugged & said something about he keeps to himself & doesn't talk about how he feels & all of the ones coming in are there for the Cannabis . . I wonder if he meant that he doesn't talk about emotions because he thought I wanted to talk about that with him.

Anyway, I had to get this out as I feel like i've lost one of only two people I have & it's really really hurting. I have only recently (3 weeks this Sunday) come out of the Crisis House, and have even more recently than that been discharged from the Crisis Team, and I can't cope

Thanks for letting me get it out x