Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Torry_Quine

Lambyr No problem.

I do agree though about the internal dialogue, I can have whold converstions with myself.

Welcome to UKTigerlily.

Pyxis

Hello Tigerlily.

Sorry to hear that you are so upset about your neighbour friend.

It sounds like he just wants space. He has said he doesn't want to talk about his feelings.

The involvement with cannabis and possibly cocaine makes things very difficult, though. If he is dealing cannabis and having all sorts of people come to his house for it, do you really want to get mixed up in that?
Maybe he doesn't want you to be involved in that, hence him distancing himself from you. Maybe, as a result, he doesn't want you to know any more about his life or his contacts, etc.

I don't know anything about cocaine use, or its effects, but if he is a frequent user, again, maybe it's best you keep your distance, too.

You have said that your friendship is close on your side but not on his. My feeling is that that's the answer. His lifestyle is such that maybe he doesn't want to get close emotionally to people in his immediate vicinity.
However, he knows you're there; if he ever needs your help or your friendship, he will knock at your door. In the meantime, just be friendly when you see him out the front, etc. but leave it at that for now.

To be honest, I wouldn't want to be close to someone who dealt in cannabis and possibly cocaine. I've had some experience in the distant past of mixing with people who used and shared the former heavily, and it wasn't fun.
Not to mention the constant fear of the knock on the door.

I think you're probably well out of it. :A

UKTigerlily

Thank you Pyxis . . . i've known him for around 5/6 years so don't think it's the Cannabis as he's always done that, though one of his 'friends/customers?' did come up here desperate for his Cannabis, when the guy wasn't home, & he took it out on me, which may link to exactly what you said.

In the meantime, I remembered the money saving bit . . . I gave him £50 to get materials to build like a partition wall for me (he's a builder) . . . he said that they'd (his workmates & him) got it cheaper than he'd told me, as they got it in with a bigger order.

I have asked & asked how much it was, and assume it wasn't under £50 as he's not given me any change, but if over I wanted to pay the difference. He says they got the stuff, but he hasn't kept me up to date with when he will do the wall; the last time I asked the mate who has the materials was on his honeymoon (around 3 weeks ago)

Obviously I either want my money back (could they get a refund or use it on other jobs?), *or* the wall doing, but it seems as he wants nothing to do with me that the wall won't happen (& tbh I don't want him near me right now)

Can he just dump the materials on me, bearing in mind I can't use them & he knows i'd've only wanted him to get them on the condition he did this wall? He is well aware I can't use them. Does he need to return the money, seeing as he got the materials? x

Pyxis

Gosh, that's rough.

Well, quite apart from all the other stuff, I feel that you have every right to knock on his door and ask to discuss the partition wall.

Then, if he dithers, to ask him outright if he is going to be able to do it, and if not, could you have your money back?

If he kicks off, maybe you should ask him for the materials. That way, you could get someone else to do the work and at least you'd have the stuff.
For all the inconvenience of having stuff in your house, at least you wouldn't have lost the £50.

If he won't let you have the materials either, then something is very wrong. I'd guess that maybe he's spent the cash on................ I'll leave you to fill in the blanks.

But first and foremost, you do have the right to find out what's going on.

UKTigerlily

I couldn't really have it all here as i'm in a small bedsit, the wall was going to split the living & bedroom areas up. Sadly he won't respond to anything at all, but I guess I could try another letter through his door.

So far he hasn't replied to any letters or texts (over 6 days I think), and when I tried to talk to him yesterday he didn't let me say a word

And I thought *I* had problems!!!

dekaspace

Had a very busy week, went to visit relative and stayed Wednesday and Thursday in a hotel to do so as they live in middle of nowhere and can't put me up themselves, the room despite staying multiple times in past was a nightmare due to being at front of building next to a road thats busy 24/7, but so burning hot even with window open and just a sheet I was sweating.

Ended up with less than 3 hours sleep and then a 2 hour journey on train to my relative then 2 hours back that evening where for first time in my life I dozed off on train.

Then despite that 10 minutes or so kip on train I kept myself awake till 10pm when I wanted bed and even then I got a horrible nights sleep, bearing in mind at home I can sleep 10 or 12 hours if not careful and it takes a lot to wake me.

Came home and had a small kip then was knackred so a 2 day event I was meant to go to I did one day and was up this morning 8am for checking a volunteer job, tomorrow up around 9 too which is hard for me.

So im all over the place at minute.

Gingernutty

This ADHD-PI thing is taking some getting used to.

My first review saw the doses doubled and the GP screwed up the new prescription. The palaver needed to get it corrected was bizarre.

I've got little to no real 'executive function' so even though I can sit and concentrate on something, I have real trouble deciding what needs to be done and in what order.

I've been Googling for ADHD counsellors or therapy but they all concentrate on children.

This is hard.

lostinrates

Hi WaS and Pyxis and everyone else.

I am not sure anyone will remember me apart from Pyxis.

I've had a busy time and find I wish I could share some of it. Some of it was beautiful and some not.

It's hood to see this thread is still here.

pollyanna_26

That's odd LIR I often wonder how you are . I used to love your renovation posts . Haven't been on here for ages and just spotted you .

Sorry for not keeping up real life has been pretty full on .
Thoughts as always to WaS and her loved ones and all here . MU from the little I've read you are doing so well .
Can't name you all but I do think of you .
Good luck to Mellyand her husband , Faerie and everyone else .
Take care all
polly x

elona

LIR

It is good to see you again and I loved your posts too.