Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

That explains a lot pyxis

Pyxis

whitewing wrote: »

The Queen has given me her nasty cough (it may not have been the Queen, but she is the only person I 'know' who has it), so my nights are interrupted.

I am sorting through my drawer. Before xmas, I shoved lots of stuff in it so now I am seeing what I didn't get round to.Nothing difficult, but I think today is going to be one of those days where I want to do things but lose motivation as soon as I get started.

How are you, WaS?

Love to everyone - whatever it is, you can do it!

pyxis, I learnt a new phrase yesterday from ER - ram sammy

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/ram_sammy

Well, you know me., 'cos that's what had been laying me out since September. It comes back after two or three days of thinking it's gone.


What's ram sammy?

Gotta laugh, 'cos everytime you talk about ER, I think you mean Her Maj! :rotfl:

:eek: perhaps you did get it from the Queen after all! Is she your ER?

codemonkey

I get the leg pain too tea, although definitely not as bad as you. Do you also get the erm digestive issues too?

Pyxis - I've always thought it looks like a bull's skull. The Rock has a Bull tattoo on his arm that looks like a uterus

Hugs for the cough ww. Take care of yourself, I think it's quite a nasty bug.

Glad you're feeling a bit better hbs.
.

tea_lover

Penguin reply to code... in case those of a nervous disposition are reading!

Issues with everything! Thanks to endo adhesions everything is
pretty much stuck to everything else. So bowel, intestines etc are sticking to themselves and to the general 'lining' of me (if that makes sense) Also adhesions around the sciatic nerve which is lovely.

I basically need jet washing or something!

End of squeamish girlie penguin.

calleyw

Morning my lovelies,

Massive hugs, squishes and hand shakes all round. Sounds like some need it today.

My sleep is shot to pieces of as well. Been waking up at 3-4am and then awake for an hour then not really awaking up until gone 10am :eek:

Still in my dressing gown. Need to get showered and dressed and take action collie out for a wander. Got dr's this afternoon and still not sure what things I need to talk to him about. Mainly I think that I run down and worn out.

Yours

Calley X

Waves_and_Smiles

Morning all! Sending positive work vibes to those who need it.

Whitewing and Pyxis, look after those coughs.

I am fighting BPD right now. Ever since the death of my friends daughter I have been fighting feeling abandoned. No it doesn't make sense because I am not abandoned at all, but try telling BPD that. It's off-shooting into other areas of my life like the fact my american friend now has her little sister staying with her. Logical me says what a relief, the poor child is out a damaging situation, BPD says she won't have time for you now in fact talking to you is probably a burden, it would be better for everyone if you disappeared. The same with Milliefleur, the thoughts say she could live with WaSp if you weren't here, they probably both want that, you are in the way.

It is selfish and it is totally irrational but BPD works that way. You spend your life waiting to be left and anticipating it everytime it flares. Fortunately I am managing to keep these thoughts to myself which is good because logical me knows no one is thinking like this at all, it just doesn't stop the feelings of terror inside at being forgotten.

It all comes down to extremely low self-esteem and thinking I don't deserve anyone and that everything that goes wrong especially involving deaths is all my fault. I am annoying myself.

Pyxis

.


For you, WaS.............

whitewing

I realised over xmas that my bdp is greatly affected by poor money management. The most recent bad thoughts I had was when I ran out of money and struggled until the next lot came in.

It wasn't the amount of money, it was just not having kept tabs on things last year due to certain circumstances.

Contactless cards don't help. I think there is scope to improve that as my memory is so rubbish. It seems a step back to have to manually track a spend when the system could do it automatically, plus DH and I only have a joint account.

Mostly, it is me to blame.

This year will be better. Especially if I get off MSE and transfer the money which was the whole point of getting online!

Waves_and_Smiles

I log everything, whitewing. I have a spreadsheet and micromanage all of our money literally down to the last £5. Having OCD helps there because I like the feeling of control but I would be just like you if I didn't keep such tight tabs on it.

Thank you Pyxis, my golden lights won't leave me! What do you mean you can't walk when I cling to your leg?

tea_lover

Fwiw, you're not annoying me WaS xx