Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Georgiegirl256

Hey code

Ah right Calley, well I guess only he can decide what's best for him, and if she's really no good, then hopefully he'll realise that sooner or later.

Waves_and_Smiles

Georgie! We missed you! Fred says hi and sends a hug and so do I!

Incidentally, I once knew the person the book/film/song Georgie Girl was based on. She hates me. :rotfl:

elsien

Well that was interesting. An abridged version of Twelfth Night with lots of music, some tequila that I missed out on and also at one point incorporating the radio 4 shipping forecast.
I enjoyed it but am also pleased it was abridged so I can get to bed at a reasonable time. A sure sign I'm getting old.

codemonkey

Thought I'd ahem, weigh in, on the fat acceptance points from earlier. This is going to be long. I have lots of feelings on the issue.
Penguin
Ok. So I've been both ends of the scale, I've been 'normal' weight (size 10-12) and obese and bordering on morbidly obese (size 18-20). People treat you a lot better at 'normal' weight. When you're bigger, you can see people looking at you and making judgements. I've had comments thrown at me on the street. I had a woman follow me down the street shouting that I was fat and disgusting. I was maybe a size 16 at the time. There's so much hatred for fat people.

Even at my biggest, I've always been 'healthy'. For example, my blood pressure is perfect, and I was more active than a lot of smaller people I know, but I found increasingly that doctors were quick to start blaming things on my weight. My back pain was because of my weight, my snoring was because of my weight, and when I pointed out that I had back pain and snored like a warthog when I was in the normal weight range, I was ignored and told to lose weight. At the same time, when I was trying to get them to acknowledge that my weight gain was due to the drugs, I was ignored and fobbed off again and again and even told "Fat people always blame their drugs." It wasn't until I physically presented a list of everything I'd eaten and the amount of exercise I did, (and I had to wave that in front of several doctors), that they paid attention. It's like they stop seeing you as a person and just "Oh this person is fat, so that's what's up with them and we're not going to bother looking past that."

There's so much negativity in being fat. People make assumptions that you're lazy and gluttonous. Even at my skinniest, I can't eat walking down the street and am self-conscious about what I eat in public because people look at every bite you take if you're big.

Fat acceptance. Well, hmmm. I don't know. I think it's sad that we need any kind of body acceptance movement because we should all be able to be happy in our bodies, and restricting it to "You should only be comfortable in your skin if you're healthy" mentality doesn't really work if you take it away from the weight issue. Does that mean you can't be happy if you have a health condition? Should I be miserable all the time because my facial nerves are dodgy? Nah. If someone has the body confidence to be happy in themselves, even if they weigh more than they should, then more power to them* and I envy them. If, knowing they don't have the perfect body, they're happy to be on tv in bikinis (given that I find being on the beach in a bikini a trial), then that confidence should be celebrated, hell I want to bottle it, whether that person is a size 6 or a size 26.

I do think that more awareness should be shifted onto the psychological aspects of weight though. The whole gastric band/bypass thing is failing because people who have had them liquidise their junk food to bypass it and those people need help that isn't going to be solved with a quick fix. Binge eating disorder, Bulimia and food addiction are largely ignored in favour of anorexia, especially in the media and I do think in some cases of obesity, some kind of counselling should be involved in the treatment, especially as food isn't something you can go cold turkey (heh) on.

* adding a caveat here - providing it doesn't impact negatively on people around them. I sometimes watch these "look at all the obese people" tv shows and there was a woman on one of those, who was beyond morbidly obese - I think around 500lbs. She made her living eating cake on webcam I think. She said she was never going to try to lose weight. Her teenage daughter was her carer and broke down on camera because she wasn't going to be able to go to college, or have a life of her own because she had to take care of her mother, not for unavoidable health reasons but because her mother didn't want to go on a diet. I think that's unreasonable.

Georgiegirl256

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Georgie! We missed you! Fred says hi and sends a hug and so do I!

Incidentally, I once knew the person the book/film/song Georgie Girl was based on. She hates me. :rotfl:

Same back to you and Fred WaS! :A

You know a lot of people WaS! It's fascinating to hear about! I have no idea what the film/book/song Georgie (or is it Georgy?) Girl is about tbh. It was just a name I picked and then people started singing at Georgie Girl at me, and it was like "oh, maybe I should just have put Georgie?" I wonder if MSE team would remove the girl?

Code, I agree with your penguin :T

Pyxis

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Izadora

Morning All,

Penguin reply to Code I can relate to so much of that. My weight's varied a lot over the years and it still amazes me how dismissive people are if you're bigger. I've also had people shout at me in the street that I'm fat when I was a size 14!!

I do agree that it's great that people have the confidence to wear bikinis when they're very overweight and I wish I could be even half that comfortable in my own skin, I'm just not sure I think that it's always a good look. Some larger women do look amazing in bikinis and then others, like me, look far better covered up.

I also agree that the psychological side of obesity really needs to be better understood. When I've been subjected to the oh-so-helpful advice of "just eat less and move more you fat cow" I've tried to point out that it's about as much use as saying "just eat a sandwich" to someone who's anorexic but most people still prefer to presume that if you're fat you're just greedy and uneducated.

I sometimes think my life would be a lot easier if they could invent a pill which gives you everything you need for the day so that I could give up food altogether.


Calley - That dress is lovely.

Faerie - I hope you hear from them soon.

Elsien - Twelfth Night incorporating the shipping forecast? That definitely sounds interesting!!

calleyw

Morning Shipmates,

A nice bright sunny morning here.

Hugs, handshakes and squishes for all today.

Izadora thank you. Just have to see what it looks like on:rotfl:

Penguin about weight

I have never been normal weight. I have always been over weight. Puberty happened and that was that. I think I do suffer with a binge eating disorder. I just never seem to know when to stop eating.

Last night I binged for reason no idea. I had eaten properly and even cooked some tea.

some bigger ladies are in proportion but not me. I have a huge fat stomach. Big boobs and bum I can cope with.

I have lost weight before but never seem to keep it off. I am smaller than I was 4 years ago by a stone and half. I need to lose at least another 3 and half stone.

Anyone woman who is confident to wear a bikini no matter what size. i say good for her.

But when you read that a size 6 model was told to lose weight or lose her job I am like :eek: no hope for me.

Penguin end

Everyone take care.

Yours

Calley

jobbingmusician

Just popping in to have a gitdog moment.

From the news...

Sniffer dogs at Manchester Airport have failed to find any Class A drugs in a 7-month period, inspectors found.

Rather than detecting illegal animal products being smuggled into the UK, the dogs instead often detected 'cheese and sausages' in holidaymakers' bags.

Waves_and_Smiles

Morning all!

Penguin about weight and ED, this isn't pleasant so please skim past if it upsets you.

I will be honest that my ED means that I cannot really judge weight healthily at all. It is a very personal thing to me and I know my thinking is distorted. I have been very underweight because it helps me feel in control, there is also an element of punishing myself by not eating. I love feeling empty and clean inside, it feels pure and untouched and strangely as if I am cleaned from sexual abuse. The thinner I get the more clean and in control I feel.

Currently I am very overweight and the feelings that go with that are if I am fat no one will talk to me or notice me, it feels like wearing a suit of armour against the world to keep people away. There is also a strong element of self-hatred when I am overweight, a satisfaction in thinking I look horrible and a feeling of yes, you are fat and ugly and no one likes you and that is what you deserve. The voices agree wholeheartedly and I think, good I should suffer, I deserve to.

I have only been a healthy weight for a few years in my life,l the rest of the time it yoyo's up and down depending which emotional pull is strongest at the time. Certainly for me, there is more to being a healthy weight than eating less and exercising, it is all caught up in how I feel about myself.

End Penguin.

In other news the latest progress on the ESA form is there has been none whatsoever, it is in the same place it was. I asked again if anyone had an idea when it might progress and was told they have no idea at all because the staff have to reassess their workload daily. Errr what does that even mean? 14 weeks and counting...