Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

Thanks calley, hope you're doing ok with your home-invaders!

Today is really dragging, I just want to get home to P cat and get on with some heavy duty wallowing. Am so cross with myself.... despite how it may appear sometimes I'm actually not a total disaster. I'm nearly 40, I have a responsible job that I do well (I hate it, but I do it well!), I've got lovely friends and family and a good social life, I have hobbies and interests I really enjoy.... I'm comfortable with myself. I'm at that stage of life where I'm not bothered what other people think and I'm happy in my own skin.

So just the one (massive) problem really.... this total inability to walk away from someone who's been making my life a misery since I was 26. I really don't think of myself as a doormat (I'm definitely not at work), I know what I will and won't put up with and I'm not afraid to stand up for myself. Which just makes it all the more annoying that I can absolutely, fully, see just how stupid I'm being but I don't seem to be able to stop this totally destructive behaviour.

The biggest irony? That's not so different to FOH after all. We're both making terrible decisions and wrecking our own chances to be happy, and we both seem incapable of change.

Izadora

Calley, you need to remember that Facebook isn't real life!!

Forget about what Lego man's up to and what he is or isn't posting. It's not up to him or anyone else (although it's lovely that AM thinks you are) to decide whether or not you're good enough - you are and you just need to remember it.

How come Action Man's there until New Year? Try not to fall into the trap of seeing him as a guest and thinking that it's your job to make him comfortable and do everything. If he's staying there then he should be mucking in with chores so would hopefully reduce your overall workload, if nothing else he shouldn't be adding to them.

I hope you feel better soon.

Solarjunkie

Tea Lover - maybe think of the recent good times as a sort of holiday? Enjoyable at the time, happy memories to look back on when you can, but sadly not ongoing.

Meanwhile be nice to yourself, you have already listed a number of good things about yourself, and Happy Wasmas to all.

calleyw

Izadora wrote: »

Calley, you need to remember that Facebook isn't real life!!

Izzy I do know that. it was only one post with a picture of her. think it just brought me up smart as when we split about 4 months ago. I got the whole I don't know what I want and its me not you and you are great and fab etc. And I left it open by saying you know where I am type thing. Yes I am very happy with Action man. I just think its the whole what was wrong with me why did you not want me thoughts it brings up. Silly I know.

Izadora wrote: »

How come Action Man's there until New Year? Try not to fall into the trap of seeing him as a guest and thinking that it's your job to make him comfortable and do everything. If he's staying there then he should be mucking in with chores so would hopefully reduce your overall workload, if nothing else he shouldn't be adding to them.

I hope you feel better soon.

Just the way its happened. Its complicated as I still don't have a car and there is action dog. And action man works nearly halfway between our homes. So without either one of us staying at each others places we would not get to see each other. As we would be spending a lot of money on fuel and bus fares Also I don't like his shower LOL!!!!

So he would not get bored he has brought his tv and xbox with him.

I do get him to do the washing up and take me food shopping if needed. But its just the extra volume of stuff. I have never know a man with so many clothes. The kitchen now has a dog cage. Which means the shoe rack as been moved to a place that is not so good. Its that type of stuff.

Also I use to doing stuff when I want to, Such as washing, normally do it when the weather is nice so I can get it outside.. Well he needs his stuff for work so silly when I have a massive 8kg washing machine to put in a couple of pairs of trousers, and 4 shirts and have a half full machine. May as well do it with my stuff at the same time!!!

And xmas does not help with extra stuff coming in to the house. Not put a tree yet or any decs.

In the new year I will try and get him to spend a bit more time at his place alone with doggy. Just so I can get my things sorted both physically and mentally.

So do I getting annoyed feeling like this tired and snotty and grumpy :rotfl:

Yours

Calley

Waves_and_Smiles

Congratulations on the engagement, Lambyr! Awwww, made my day!

Massive hugs to tea and Torry (Tea you aren't an idiot! You are loving and caring and that doesn't make you an idiot!).

What a lovely thing to say, Code! I love that you see me that way! I have been thoroughly miserable since I last posted but today have decided no matter how low I feel it isn't going to change anything and my friend's daughter would be yelling at me to get on with life if she could. She was all about keeping on fighting and looking forward so the best tribute I can give her is to do that. It isn't easy because I am very sad but I am trying to appreciate what I learnt from her rather than the fact she isn't here anymore.

So, on that note the decorations are up and it looks like Santa's Grotto in here. I shall put the tree up later and plan the Christmas food. This is very late for me, I normally have everything arranged by the beginning of December and wasn't going to bother this year but I love Christmas and it won't change a thing if I take that away from myself as some kind of stupid self-punishment that I failed.

I am going to find happiness in little things, I have a Christmas duvet cover on the bed, I have a warm throw for the sofa and WaSp and I will cook far too much Christmas dinner for two and then collapse in a heap to watch Doctor Who. I shall also open the bottle of Champagne I have and raise a glass to my friend's daughter, not in sorrow at her loss but as a celebration of her life.

heartbreak_star

WaS that post has warmed me right down to my tippy-toes

I'm off to the Harry Potter Studios again tomorrow! I am so excited. Decided last year's trip was so good I need to do it again - AND I got coach travel, dinner, bed, breakfast and entry to the Studios for £79!!

(well, plus £12 single supplement as Mr HBS is not coming - he's not a fan!)

I'm going to be insufferable this evening

HBS x

Waves_and_Smiles

Ooooh, what's that like HBS? What sort of things do you see? Have a lovely, lovely time!

tea_lover

That sounds amazing HBS! I keep hearing how good it is, it's definitely on my places to go list for next year.

Lovely post WaS xx

codemonkey

Lambyr - well done on the article.

Calley - I know what you mean with the feeling a bit put out by the Facebook thing. One of my exes always said he didn't want to settle down, get married or have kids. Then he started ghosting me, and I got the message and moved on. Next thing I know, he's moved in with someone and they subsequently got married and had a kid. And he'll post on fb about how she's too good for him and I think 'hang on, what on earth is wrong with me that I clearly wasn't as good as her?' Then I remember that Mr CP is better than him anyway. :rotfl:

Today is dragging like crazy. I want to go home, put my jammies on, admire my WaSmas tree and have DA dog cuddles.

Not heard about the job yet - no news is good news, yes?

Lambyr

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Congratulations on the engagement, Lambyr! Awwww, made my day!

Thank you, WaS!