Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

onomatopoeia99

Oh tea I am sorry. I can't offer any insight into his behaviour as I don't understand it either.

What I do understand is wanting to think the best of someone that you love and have shared your life with, so I'm not going to tell you off. I don't like telling people what to do, but would seriously suggest giving yourself some space to think by blocking his number on your phone, at least until the new year, to allow that.

Izadora

((( Torry ))) ((( Pyxis )))
I hope you both have as okay/not too hideous a Christmas as possible.

WW - What lovely surprises with MIL and the book.

Ono - I don't know if you've seen but Scrooged is on Channel 4 at 2:45 on Christmas Eve.

((( Tea ))) There's no need for a slap. You may be a raging idiot but it was coming from a place of wanting to see the best in people and trusting them not to mess up again so it's fine.
I'm so sorry that he's done it yet again and I'd love to say that he'll learn his lesson eventually but I really can't see it happening and you deserve so much more than him. Have loads of chocolate and PCat cuddles.

tea_lover

Yes, think I can safely say that he'll never stop doing this.

whitewing

I don't think you're an idiot, tea. I think you are spectacularly lovely. You do deserve better than FOH, however upset he is about it.

tea_lover

Thanks WW, I did tell him that!

I suppose in some ways I've made progress as I do fully see this time that this is absolutely nothing to do with me. Previously I've always found some reason why it was at least partly my fault (over the past decade there have been a lot of reasons I came up with - I wasn't working, I was an IVF-mess, we weren't getting on, I was working too much, I didn't have enough other things going on in my life, I had too much going on in my life, I didn't encourage him enough..... and so on).

This time though I know, I mean really KNOW that I did nothing wrong. Other than trusting him in the first place of course.

codemonkey

(((tea))) Someone once told me of you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, so I shall refrain from commenting on FOH's behaviour. Having said that, if you remain in a relationship with this man, I will come down and punch you in the face. This is not your fault, he clearly is incapable of changing, but you're worth too much to forgive this again. You've forgiven him too many times already. You also probably also should get tested just in case.

Here is a suggestion for all of us who are finding Christmas hard. Let's collectively ignore anyone who says it's just for the kids, forget the concept of the big perfect, family Christmas that only exists in advertising, and make a pact to just enjoy the pretty lights, festive music, Christmas TV l, time off work (for those of us who are employed) and the expectation that you can eat and drink whatever you want with no judgement, just because it's Christmas.

WaS is my inspiration here. She's been through enough to make the strongest person crumble into a mess and yet she's the most positive person who finds joy wherever she can. So I'm going to WaS it up this year. I might even celebrate the winter solstice and yule. I'm sure I have mead somewhere.

seven-day-weekend

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Hi all.

I just want to hibernate under the duvet and not come out until next year. I really don't like this time of year and if someone else says to me that Christmas is for children or how will you be when Loon is working I'm liable to say something I might not regret!


On a better note I forced myself to church today for the nativity and the children were brilliant. Few moments though of I will never be the proud mum.

End of penuin.
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Penguin about your Church penguin:

That was really intrusive of them and I hope they are shown how inappropriate their behaviour was. Also the comments about children were really insensitive. Poor Torry. Hope you feel much better soon.

I have been to church the grand total of ONCE this year. It is a big church with vibrant worship and at the moment I am finding it too loud and noisy and bustly. However, I don't want to go to any other church, other than as a visitor. Dilemma. Still doing Job Club though.

End Penguin.

tea_lover

Yep, merry WaSmas to us all

I like your restraint code, I have not been so polite... I was unaware that I knew so many swear words and insults until yesterday. I spent a good hour shouting profanities then went and sang at a carol service - slightly shaming! There's a drop in clinic near me so looks like my first Christmas day off will be spent queuing up for invasive tests rather than having a lie in....not quite what I had in mind.

whitewing

A WaSmas is a great celebration!

calleyw

Oh (((Tea))) I did have my suspicions as again you went very quiet about the whole thing again.

Please please please please be kind to yourself. It is totally him. I understand how you feel. I got so kicked over by my on/off ex. it hurts when you love someone so much you just want it to work. And keep going back and hoping it will work and it never does.

You have been very brave to admit it to us here today. So please don't beat yourself up.

I must admit not that condone that sort of behavior but agree with code you need a kick up the bum.

He is not worthy of you ever ever ever. I know its hard. I am going through massive self doubt at the moment with Action man all due to me joining face book. As lego man was on there and I just looked like you do and he has a gf and is putting her up on face book. And it hurts because he never did that for me and told me it was not me but him. But it makes me doubt everything about myself. And how I am not good enough.

Action man told me that it's his decision to make if I am good enough for him not mine. Does not help that him and action dog have been living with me the last week or so and will be until the new year. And I am finding it really hard having two extra bodies in the house. Extra mess and work for me.

Also not helped by TOTM and had this sodding cold for 5 weeks. And I booked to the see the dr and have to wait until the 9th of Jan. Feeling really run down so even if cold is gone will still go and see dr and see what blood tests might be due As so tired. Sleeping during the day but seem to be sleeping not to badly through the night!!!

Now Tea remember be kind to yourself. You have learnt he will never change not even for someone as great as you. You put your all in to it and he did the same thing again to you. You know and I know you deserve so much better than that. It has taken me 4 and half years to get where I am with someone who is amazing and fab.

New year and new start and all that. Massive hugs for you Tea and everyone else needed or not :rotfl:. Come in to the fort and we have a massive duvet huddle and we can watch some nice films. Does not have to be xmas films. But arthur christmas is good. Action man was not sure but he laughed all the way through and liked it.

Everyone take care


Yours

Calley