Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

MothballsWallet

geminilady said:

MothballsWallet said:

I'm annoyed with my sister in law (SIL) - my wife's with her family at the moment caring for her mum (they live in Russia, which is now also on lockdown), my MIL is in one of the at risk categories, but my SIL is acting like the lockdown doesn't apply to her, so she's going out when she shouldn't be and saying she thinks the virus is fake 

Does your SIL live with your wife's mum?am not surprised you are worried.If I was your wife I would not let SIL in the house she would be putting everyone at risk

Yes, she does. I'm very tempted to speak to her (SIL) the next time I call my wife, but since I know myself, I'd make things worse, but she's being very selfish, imo.

jobbingmusician

Hello everyone!  I think it helps to relax and destress every so often, even in your imagination, so I'm setting up a virutal safe room in our fort.  Come and join me there any time.  It has a proper coronus-blitzing shield on the door so we can all go in, relax and exchange hugs if you are a huggy person.  Some and use our lovely squishy virus free sofa and jacuzzi while your worries (left outside) lose some of their power.  Surround yourself with healing light and just take a break from all this madness.  Feel yourself getting stronger and building up your resistance, read a book, listen to some lovely music, or just chill.

Hope this helps somebody (or several somebodies) - my personal retreat is silly TV programmes, but I am also trying to get a bit fitter courtesy of Joe Wicks while I'm in isolation with Mr JM (3 weeks now and counting!) Love and squishes to all x

little_green

feeling low. 
this social distancing hasnt really impacted me & that's a really rubbish feeling. It's just emphasized that i have no social life, no companions,, no friends. so whilst everyone else has facetime parties with their friends on friday nights i'll just sit alone & have a little cry (yolo right!)
Even people who cant see their friends right now are videochatting in their little circles, but not me. Literally no one to message/call (other than my parents). 
some days I consider euthanasia once my parents are no longer here. Just get a once way ticket to one of the countries it's legal in & ... well i suppose that's the end of that story. 
I feel so alone. 

katsu

@little_green maybe try joining in some of the online activities?  Find something that appeals to you: singing, crafts, quizes, games etc (you can look on facebook at the adverts and events pages, look at meetup or eventbrite etc) and see about giving it a go online?  You might be able to make some new friends who you could keep in touch with after this is over too.  

calleyw

Little_Green,

Please feel free to message me any time. You are not alone and don't have to do this on your own. Its very hard for everyone, I am carer for someone who needs to be shielding at this time.  And I have seen first hand the effect on this person.  And worse part I could not comfort them by giving them a hug. Just about broke my heart.

Yours

Calley x

Solarjunkie

Little Green and anyone else in fact - I have recently been recommended by a neighbour to join nextdoor.co.uk . It's a community that in my area (and presumably others) asks for recommendations, offers things like firewood, passes on information about local events.
The people on each group live close, in the same or next post code and you may be able to start a chat with a person or people on there. A friendship needs something in common, so living in the same area is a good start. You could talk about clapping for carers on Thursday, for example - did you join in? did you hear people clapping and whooping? or blowing a horn, as I could hear across the valley from me. I really hope you can make some acquaintances this way and that some of them turn into friends. It's a place to start, when we are all in the same boat and have a common experience. 
Good luck to you all.

little_green

hi all thanks for the kind replies. I don't know i mean I've joined so many clubs etc in the past but i never seem to make friendships ... idk why. I mean i try but wouldn't say i'm overly eager either. I think i'm a nice person, a good person but it's like none of that seems to matter in life. Sometimes I think that all the answers are so glaringly obvious to everyone except me & they're all just having a big laugh about it ... i wish someone would let me in on the joke. I mean if I knew why then it wouldn't be so bad right? Idk maybe it would be worse. 
I'm just so tired of it all honestly you try to be a nice person but people just make a fool of you 

Lambyr

Hello everyone! It's been a fair while since I last posted here, I think. Long enough that I had to reset my password to login in, at least - which involved fourteen attempts to guess the email address I signed up with. Sheesh.

Anyhoo, hope everyone is well. I was looking up some other stuff (TV bill cutting yada yada) and happened upon MSE, and moseyed on over here, and figured I'd throw a hello to everyone

Also, thanks to lockdown, I'm incredibly bored and ended up spending money getting Uber Eats to deliver some extremely overpriced Doritos and pepsi... and may have eaten an entire bag. Whoops.

Alias_Omega

Alias_Omega said:

Still around, still reading.......

Currently stuck inside the house, its raining outside and i want go sit on the benches outside and browse MSE/write this.

AO

I've had a bit of a bad week, emotionally its like were are back at Day 1, when your down, you cant see the end of the down-ness until your climbing out again. Unsure what has sent me backwards, thought i was really over this as ive had a few weeks/months of uphill. Everyone takes a step backwards i tell myself, trying to keep busy and plodding on as normal. Spoke with my partner, who by now appears to be sick of my "health" a little and commented that i should go "see a doctor, for some happy pills". #cheers for that if your reading.

Ive not been sleeping well recently, my sleep pattern has shifted roughly from 12-4am, with rising for day/work around 6am. I highly suspect my mental-health is directly linked to tiredness, i called into the most unhelpful doctor reading sleep issues, and currently on zopliclone? for a few days to shift the cycle. When i am at work, the days fly-by, when i am at home, they drag..... i tend to spend most of my days now alone, and starting to ask myself is "this as good as it gets?".

No doubt next Saturday, ill be back to normal, and this will be another one of them still posts...

Wow, how times fly's... - 2 June 2018 at 4:31PM. Time for an update...

Well...

1. I did go to the doctors and they did give me "happy pills" - aka Anti-Depressants , and they did work.

2. I self referred me to a "talking therapy" class which helped as i had someone to talk too and it worked..

3. I found the ability to sit still at weekends, and not have to "keep busy".. i can now happily sit around and do nothing..so it worked..

4. I also separated from my wife. She had an affair when i was deployed in the desert (I am in the armed forces) and i thought something was wrong when i was away. I kept it quiet and we tried to work through it. Sadly this was stuck in the back of my mind for years (had i made the wrong choice ~ as we had children). The separation was actually a big helper, as i cleared my dead-wood out of my life and were getting divorced. Happy for me, but sad for the children. At separation day 0, i would have done absolutely anything not to leave the family home, but looking back, i should have walked years ago..

So now, i have been off Anti-Depressants since Dec 2019 and sleep "just ok". I now work away Mon-Fri and commute back every weekend to have the children overnight. I am in the middle of a divorce and the consent order has been sent to the courts. Once that is done, the ex-wife will release me from the mortgage on the house and ill buy my own property.

I do miss the children, and working away midweek is a slight issue but the reward is that i am £8k a year better off, which is quite handy when buying a house setting up a new home from scratch ~ essentially i walked from the family home with just my clothes / tools.

Instead of seeing the children midweek, i get to call them daily on WhatsApp (they are 16, 12 & 9) so being away actually isnt that much of a deal, i just miss the hugs....but that "home" will come again, it will just take time..

Alias_Omega

little_green said:

hi all thanks for the kind replies. I don't know i mean I've joined so many clubs etc in the past but i never seem to make friendships ... idk why. I mean i try but wouldn't say i'm overly eager either. I think i'm a nice person, a good person but it's like none of that seems to matter in life. Sometimes I think that all the answers are so glaringly obvious to everyone except me & they're all just having a big laugh about it ... i wish someone would let me in on the joke. I mean if I knew why then it wouldn't be so bad right? Idk maybe it would be worse. 
I'm just so tired of it all honestly you try to be a nice person but people just make a fool of you 

I feel similar to you.  Pretty hard for a 40-45 year old male to make friends when i new location...

I literately moved 2 weeks before lock-down, the highlight of the day was walking around the local park and visiting morrisons....unfortunately they closed the salad bar..

If your local, your welcome to come for a coffee..