Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

dekaspace

Had a cough now since Christmas, and since the hot weather got worse, last week was a nightmare and was choking on a few occasions, Im talking actual choking as my throat tightened and I couldn't breathe, since the last 10 days I have had a cough that wont go away, normally it can go a hour or more then flare up and I am almost sick its the worst when say I get up off chair or I get a breeze from a door or window and I cough violently until my throat chokes and I stop. Got a inhaler due to it but it makes me worse as it dries my throat so I can't cough.

Izadora

calleyw wrote: »

I made a mistake of looking someone I was best friends with on FB. She was hopeless and no direction and now she has responsible job, drives a jag that did not help me either. I am mostly happy with what I have.

I remember reading somewhere that FB can make us miserable as we end up comparing everyone else's showreel with our outtakes.

Also, I know how hard it is sometimes but try to focus on the part I put in bold.

Is there anything you actually want to do or is it just a general level of dissatisfaction and feeling like should be wanting something else/more?

If it's the latter then try to remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with just plodding along and being mostly happy is still much better than a lot of people (even those with seemingly perfect lives) manage.

Massive hugs to all xx

calleyw

Izadora wrote: »

I remember reading somewhere that FB can make us miserable as we end up comparing everyone else's showreel with our outtakes.

Also, I know how hard it is sometimes but try to focus on the part I put in bold.

Is there anything you actually want to do or is it just a general level of dissatisfaction and feeling like should be wanting something else/more?

If it's the latter then try to remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with just plodding along and being mostly happy is still much better than a lot of people (even those with seemingly perfect lives) manage.

Massive hugs to all xx

Izadora,


I know a lot on fb, don't do instagram and the like for some is all about appearances and showing off. Not sure I can explain but hoped by now with less than 4 years before hitting the big 50 to have made a difference and achieved and done more than I have. I don't work so no personal income. I would like to get the house finished but can't even manage to keep it tidy.


I see everyday as a struggle and just getting to the end of it some days is all I achieve.


As I said lost my way and my mojo a long time ago. I am happy 90% of the time. But that 10% of I could achieved more niggles me. I am sacred of going back in work. I can't even make decisions. I would like a new fitness tracker but can I choose one umm nope. And that then makes me feel pathetic and useless and then the cycle starts all over again.


Yours


Calley x

dandy-candy

Calley - I'm 46 and haven't worked since my first pregnancy at 18. I dread any social situations where people ask “What do you do?” and i have to say im a housewife. Part of me would love a job to get me out of the house but i dont know who would give me one with no skills or experience, and mental i dont think i could handle it right now.

Literally my whole life i always wanted to be a writer, and two weeks ago i finally sat down and wrote my first pages. I havent written since because i was worried it was too rambling, but ive decided now just to write the damn thing even if i never show it to anyone. My dh keeps saying he wants me to be the next JK Rowling so he can retire - no pressure then!

I think trying to get better can in itself be a full time job. I know there are things i can do that help a lot, like get out of doors more and eating healthier, i just need to learn to be kinder to myself and stop feeling a failure when my anxiety messes the good intention up. My housework too has gone to pot lately, and ive lived in this house for 3 years and still havent hung the pictures on the walls or settled on room layouts. But really those things arent as important as taking care of yourself. Somedays i set a little task, like to go through the tins and check the expiry dates, and if i can do it then thats something to be pleased about. For me its about little achievements right now.

((Hugs)) to you Calley, you always take time to reply to my posts when im feeling down and i really appreciate that. You are an important person to me
.

calleyw

Dandy-candy,

Thanks for the hugs and your kind words. And you have been doing something bringing up children so not like me sat on my fat behind all day getting nothing done.

Snap I am 46 . I have not worked for the last 4 years. I let the wrong person in to my life and that was what did for me. I have always had issues but managed them as best as I could and got by. And never really liked myself. But just can't get past it at the moment.

I am tired of feeling like this and want to be "normal" I know there is no such thing as normal but you know what my mean. Just fed of being me.


My family don't help. My partner has just had another birthday and guess what no card from any of my family. But when I was about day late last year for my mums. I knew the date but messed it up in my head, I got a sarky comment from my dad about it. Wished I said well my partner has been waiting 5 months so far his. Its my SIL birthday in the next week. Might just not bother. I even said oh its my partners birthday just before my SIL's!!! to my mum the other day. He does not mind as birthdays are not a big for him. but for me its like a smack in the face of my choice of life partner.

I have been here since 2004 and hardly done anything. Need new flooring everywhere. Still two rooms untouched for decorating and the garden needs sorting. Sadly my partner does not have DIY skills. Love him to bits but not practical in anyway. And just too much stuff and add in a dog.

I am in grump this morning not helped by not getting to bed before 1am and not getting to sleep until gone 2am.

Need to get up as have to take the car around to the garage for a service.

Everyone take care. if its sunny where you are keep in the shade and drink plenty of fluids.


I do apologise for such a moany, selfish, me me me post today.


Yours

Calley x

Solarjunkie

Dandy~Candy
Reply to "what do you do?"
"I have made the choice to be at home with my children, I think that's so important, don't you?"
Don't apologise for doing that incredibly important job. Just because you don't get a salary doesn't make it any less. Once you have stated it's a choice, instead of making it sound like it just happened, then you own it, girl!

I went to a Women's Returners course some years ago, people there had not been in paid work for between 5 and 25 years. The first thing the facilitator did was to make us realise what we had been doing while being "just a housewife". The list was incredibly long and included cook, gardener, nurse, bookkeeper, hairdresser, driver, decorator, cleaner, launderer, counsellor, dressmaker and plenty of others. It really opened the eyes of some of the women who had low self esteem and they all renamed themselves, correctly

Homemakers.

Calley and anyone else beating themselves up for not doing things, how about patting yourself on the back for what you have done? Start looking at what you are doing, maybe even writing it down, I think you'll find the list is pretty long. You may think "I make sure there's always a spare roll of toilet paper" is pretty trivial, until you realise what happens when you don't! You don't give yourselves the credit you deserve.

I had a wonderful moment yesterday, a flower I have never seen before appeared on the lawn, a shining white star. I have found it is called Star of Bethlehem, and OH has promised to mow around it.

I hope everyone sees something beautiful today. Tell you what guys, please add "Today I saw this beautiful thing" to the thread.

heartbreak_star

Today I woke up to my lovely old dog booping my nose with her nose. She's not been well so for her to perch herself up on the bed to do that was so beautiful to me

HBS x

mellymoo74

Yay HBS dog kisses are the best.

Cal you said something wise to me last night about how ex had to mourn the life he will ever have, I think you do too. Ps I love you, you know this.

In other news I have now been moving house for 3 weeks as its just me, on my own it's taking quite a long time. Housing are charging me double rent

dekaspace

My cough was so bad this morning I threw up a little and was 10 minutes late for work, though that seems to have helped. I am on my 2nd set of antibiotics and my cough hasn't gone away in fact overall seems worse.

At least at monthly work feedback was told I was excellent and talked about my future with company in a positive way.

Izadora

Solarjunkie wrote: »

I hope everyone sees something beautiful today. Tell you what guys, please add "Today I saw this beautiful thing" to the thread.

That's such a lovely idea - does seeing the gin I needed to buy on offer count as a beautiful thing?

Dandy and Calley, please try to be kind and don't beat yourselves up for the things you think you should be doing. You're both lovely people who always try to help others and that's a far better indication of your worth than what you do or don't earn.

Also, it's always far too easy to be hard on yourself. A lot of people would see the fact that I've worked for the same company for 18 years as a good thing but I see it as an indication of my laziness and inability to try to find a better job because I'm too scared of the interview process to put myself out there.

Hugs and squishes to all xx