Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

heartbreak_star

Thank you everybody. You lot are great - even the tiniest hug means a lot right now. I'm in a right slump

HBS x

dekaspace

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Dekaspace I'm pleased to hear you're settling in the job. You're bound to be feeling rather drained as you adjust to being up and out , becoming familiar with new faces and routines.


You sound much more positive too. I'm not sure what support you feel you need from the social worker so can't advise . Perhaps they have noticed a change too and are seeing how you manage.


Did you manage to sort out a more suitable sleep apnea mask when you went to your clinic appointment? I did reply to your post on the OS forum but don't know if you saw it. Gaffer tape is not the answer so I hope they've provided a different kit.


I think something that would help you is to accept your relative will not be paying you back the money he owes you. He's besotted by a financial abuser which meant he was treating you as a cash machine to help meet the very dubious requests from her.
Some years ago I was lending money to someone waiting for a legacy of over 300k. I must have loaned over 3k . They got the legacy,bought a house and a new 4x4 although they already owned a 2 year old car. They never repaid the money I'd lent.. As they were very close it had an awful effect on me. I would toss and turn . It was so upsetting it was making me ill. After a few months I had to let it go,cut any contact and start to heal.


My advice is if he contacts you don't respond. Tell family or others who may feed back information to you to stop . Don't look him up to see what he's doing. That's the way to stop him impacting on you and to begin to heal yourself.
You are on a new path and making progress . Keep going and don't look back.
polly

Social work was more financial, cutbacks and all that, was really drained over Easter though I think I had bad hay fever as I was heavily drained even though I wasn't tired.

Was at works do at Thursday, I barely drank and had to turn down so many drinks and many of my colleages were so drunk some were kicked out.

calleyw

Morning my lovelies,


Massive hugs, squishes, handshakes to all that need today.


HBS if its causing your friend distress then I would say its bordering on harassment. he needs to set out the rules of contact now. That he only wants her to contact him about access to their child and any legal issues. I suspect your friend is good natured and does not want to cause a fuss. But he needs to put his foot down now. Something that may help is getting a payg sim and a cheap phone. Give his ex the new number and block her on his old phone. He can then look at the phone at his leisure and choose if he wants to read the message. Also best for him to keep all the messages just in case.



Well surgery was done. AM has a plate and screws in his wrist now and is back in plaster. been signed off two weeks now and can do nothing with it for 6 weeks. I was highly stressed as I went off and wandered around when he went off to surgery. Did not know where he was going to be when he came out of recovery. The ward he was admitted on shut at 5pm, I was tired and stressed about moving the car. I hate the handbrake as it a button one and often I can't get it right. And we where on a bit of slope.



I was close to tears and having a major meltdown in the hospital as so tired as well. But as AM was having a local rather than general he took his mobile and headphones in to surgery with him. He could keep me updated once out of surgery. But he has been up most of the night in pain. Which they did say would happen. back in 2 weeks to be x rayed and checked.


So we plod on. Off today to buy paper plates and plastic knives and forks. I seriously can't deal with the washing up anymore. It never seems to go down. The house is a tip and not sure why. And AM is most upset he can't play on his xbox :rotfl:



Everyone take care


Yours


Calley x

dandy-candy

Calley- I'm glad the surgery is done and dusted. Paper plates is a great idea, tidying the house is something you can do in small chunks if you feel inclined. Do you have Netflix or Amazon prime AM could watch instead of gaming? I think they do free trials if you don't.

I went to my therapist and it was all good, she gave me some constructive ways of coping when I'm having one of my stressful moments. It was quite upbeat which I'm glad for as I usually end up blubbing but not this time.

I might be going to the cinema with DD this afternoon to see "Pet semetary" I'm not good on gory horror, but I do quite like a creepy film. She's great to go with, because I can hide behind my hands when it's too scary and she tells me when it's safe to look again :rotfl:

Have a good day all

calleyw

dandy-candy wrote: »

Calley- I'm glad the surgery is done and dusted. Paper plates is a great idea, tidying the house is something you can do in small chunks if you feel inclined. Do you have Netflix or Amazon prime AM could watch instead of gaming? I think they do free trials if you don't.

I went to my therapist and it was all good, she gave me some constructive ways of coping when I'm having one of my stressful moments. It was quite upbeat which I'm glad for as I usually end up blubbing but not this time.

I might be going to the cinema with DD this afternoon to see "Pet semetary" I'm not good on gory horror, but I do quite like a creepy film. She's great to go with, because I can hide behind my hands when it's too scary and she tells me when it's safe to look again :rotfl:

Have a good day all

Thank you dandy candy. I am never on top tidying anyway. but since AM has been home(only a week though) its been worse. Yes we do have Netflix and amazon prime. He is playing more games on his pc at the moment. So he can game just not the games he really wanted to play.


I had a counselor for a while. And I use to come out drained due to all the emotional stuff coming out. glad you session went well.


Enjoy the film.


Yours


Calley x

heartbreak_star

Glad the surgery's done Calley and thank you for the advice Swift recovery AM!

Hope everyone is doing okay. All the love I have to give to you all.

HBS x

dandy-candy

Thinking of you WaS, I hope WaSp is making progress x

calleyw

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Glad the surgery's done Calley and thank you for the advice Swift recovery AM!

Hope everyone is doing okay. All the love I have to give to you all.

HBS x

HBS,


Thanks he is still getting some pain but that should fade.


The advice is what I would do. My ex husband would just put the phone down on his ex if she started screaming down the phone at him.



It gives your friend breathing space. He is all already upset about leaving his children. And does not need his ex to be getting on at him.



WaS, I hope everything is going ok.


Hugs and squishes and handshakes all round.


Yours


Calley x

Waves_and_Smiles

Big hugs, HBS. Hang in there. Tell your friend not to respond and just end the conversation, it might be an idea to keep any recoprd of messages though just in case.

Glad to hear AM has had his surgery, Calley. Now at least you can both have a timeline for when he will start to feel in less pain hopefully. Plastic cutlery is wonderful!

Dandy and SSD - That is something I was wrestling with myself about before all of this happened with WaSp. It sounds a cliche but I have no idea of who I really am or what I want. I haven't really known for a long time, I just drift from one day to the next really. I don't have answers but I do empathise.

WaSp is doing much better and is very, very bored. He called me at 5am and has been on and off the phone all day. He now has 2 plasma exchanges to go and they swap to the chemotherapy drug. It is very strong with all the side effects you would expect like hair-loss and nausea but it is the only drug to initially treat vasculitis with systematic organ failure. Once he has been in remission for 2 years they can then try to put him on a milder drug. I am going to visit tomorrow.

calleyw

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

WaSp is doing much better and is very, very bored. He called me at 5am and has been on and off the phone all day. He now has 2 plasma exchanges to go and they swap to the chemotherapy drug. It is very strong with all the side effects you would expect like hair-loss and nausea but it is the only drug to initially treat vasculitis with systematic organ failure. Once he has been in remission for 2 years they can then try to put him on a milder drug. I am going to visit tomorrow.

I am so glad to hear that WaSp is doing so much better. Yes hospital is very boring. When on a standard ward they wake you up early in the morning and then want to get you to sleep 8pm:rotfl:and the hours drag. Difference now is people can take in smart phones and tablets to while away the hours.



My ex had 6 low doses chemo sessions as his part of his treatment. I never told his brothers he was having it. Didn't think they needed to know. And one of them rang the ward to talk to him and was told he was off having chemo. oops scared his brother a bit :rotfl:I never said anything about it to your before WaS, as was not sure if it was standard treatment and in case it made you worry too much.



How are you managing on your own? I do hope you are getting enough rest, food and fluids.


AM is still getting pain but I get they feeling they yank it all around a bit to get everything in place. Also the other day I managed to break a pin off in a electric socket :eek: no idea how that happened!!!!


Everyone take care


Yours


Calley x