Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Waves_and_Smiles

Hi all! Bit of advice please?

WaSp is feeling better but is very bored and very depressed and wants to come home. Now he feels like his old self being in hospital is driving him mad. Now, I know that after the initial vasculitis crisis that patients are usually in hospital for at least a month while they patch up the damage it caused. I can't figure out if telling WaSp this would make him feel better or worse? Right now he is miserably telling me he is not coming home in the next few days every few days, I know he will be there for at least 10 days more and very likely longer than that, I haven't said anything so far. Do I carry on letting him be disappointed when they say not yet or risk him becoming even more depressed if I tell him it's not going to be anytime soon? What would you prefer to hear in WaSp's position?

mellymoo74

WaS tell him
He will have an idea then of how long

dandy-candy

I think you need to tell him (or get the doctor too) so he has a date to work towards. Also give him a project to work on to keep him occupied, can he plan something like a short trip away or redoing the garden if you have one? Does he have any hobbies or want to take one up?

heartbreak_star

WaS, I think definitely tell him! Also maybe enlist the docs to give him a plan for why he's in that long? Definitely a project of some sort while he's there, as Dandy says - or a book he's always wanted to read or something.

Well done Deka! Stand your ground

JM - thank you, I am okay, just a little worn down with it all. [penguin] I have cut myself for the first time in about ten years over it and am very disappointed in myself for it. But empathy makes you do stupid things I guess. [end penguin] Myself and my accuser were at a gathering of friends at the weekend, and I got one glare then total ignorance so I'll take that it proves we can awkwardly coexist haha!

HBS x

dandy-candy

((Hugs)) HBS. Try to come and talk to us more often before you get that low xx

Izadora

WaS - I agree with everyone else, you should tell WaSp how long it's going to be. When my mum was in hospital recently she seemed to find it much harder when she had no idea how long she was going to be there. Once she knew it would be at least 4 weeks she seemed to settle down and get on with it.

HBS - I can understand why you're disappointed but you shouldn't be, just please try to talk to someone if you feel that you're going to do it again. It's a horrible situation to have to deal with but I'm glad that you can manage to coexist, even if somewhat awkwardly at the moment.

Hugs and squishes to all that need them xx

heartbreak_star

Thank you so so much, both of you. In fact all of you.

*mentally curls up in a big soft nest of pillows*

HBS x

Waves_and_Smiles

Big hugs HBS. I can understand you are disappointed but there is no need to be. You have been through a lot and it was a coping strategy even if it was an unhealthy one. We will always listen to you when you feel that way.

Thank you everyone. I told WaSp he will be in hospital for at least 10 more days. He isn't happy about it but as you say hopefully he will settle into it now. I do understand his point because he feels well so he wants to be home, he is still having blood transfusions and IV medications though while his organs heal so he is not better yet. I am going to visit tomorrow.

Waves_and_Smiles

Tonight I am thinking that the littlest things can mean the world. WaSp only likes filter coffee and has been hating the weak, instant coffee in the hospital. So I called today and asked the staff if I could bring some coffee from home. They said no more than 500mgs but that it was ok. I took some up in a flask for WaSp, he laughed in delight and held my hand the whole time he happily drank it. It's the little things.

dandy-candy

I totally agree WaS! When DS1 was in hospital my DH took him a flask of Yorkshire tea every day as it is his favourite.