Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Pyxis

annandale wrote: »

I wasn’t trying to say she was wrong. I was trying to say that if she ends her life there will be people who will never get over it. I know people deal with grief in different ways but if someone is vocalising that they are thinking of killing them selves then all I can say is being the person who is left behind is awful.

It took a year for my mum to smile again after my uncle died. I never thought I would have a happy moment again.

There’s no easy way to lose someone but that is one of the worst.

I’m sorry you feel that desperate and I’m not trying to be unsympathetic to your grief. I’m just trying to say that if you do end your life there will be people who will be truly devastated.

I also wasn’t trying to say there was a medication for grief. Just that if someone isn’t sleeping well there might be something the doctor can prescribe even in the short term.

I’ve lost enough close family members to know what grief is and I do know everyone deals with it differently.

I’ll leave you all to it. Best wishes.

Thank you Annandale....... no criticism intended, I assure you, and sorry if it came across that way.

What you say is very pertinent, and your experience of that situation is very useful and insightful to know, so thank you for sharing that.
:A

I am really sorry that your family had such a terrible time....sharing those terrible experiences can be very helpful, for all concerned.

Please don't feel you have to disappear.

dekaspace

Had a week or two of being drained think due to change of weather but have been rushed about the last few weeks, went away twice, had multiple job interviews which I was rejected, hospital appointments and the neighbour upstairs has gone back to the heavy noise as kids are back, talking for example like Saturday when I was woken by a crash from my cupboard as things fell out due to the vibrations, then 12 hours of cars pulling up and more and more people having a gathering and noisy, Monday-today I have heard noise from 3pm-8pm right now I hear the kids and adults teasing the dog with play barking making the dog exicited and bark and run about in response.


Don't forget she claims she is single and only has friends round on rare occasions (and none of them male except the majority of noise is always from rowdy men)


So im drained but relaxed and fragile at same time!

Torry_Quine

annandale wrote: »

I wasn’t trying to say she was wrong. I was trying to say that if she ends her life there will be people who will never get over it. I know people deal with grief in different ways but if someone is vocalising that they are thinking of killing them selves then all I can say is being the person who is left behind is awful.

It took a year for my mum to smile again after my uncle died. I never thought I would have a happy moment again.

There’s no easy way to lose someone but that is one of the worst.

I’m sorry you feel that desperate and I’m not trying to be unsympathetic to your grief. I’m just trying to say that if you do end your life there will be people who will be truly devastated.

I also wasn’t trying to say there was a medication for grief. Just that if someone isn’t sleeping well there might be something the doctor can prescribe even in the short term.

I’ve lost enough close family members to know what grief is and I do know everyone deals with it differently.

I’ll leave you all to it. Best wishes.

I appreciate your point of view. It's the biggest reason that would stop me. Please keep posting.


Well my GP appointment didn't help at all. Apparently I may meet someone else and need to volunteer! This is despite me saying how awful things are.

dekaspace

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I appreciate your point of view. It's the biggest reason that would stop me. Please keep posting.


Well my GP appointment didn't help at all. Apparently I may meet someone else and need to volunteer! This is despite me saying how awful things are.

That is what happens with me, I keep getting told short answer "think positive" and just have a good nights sleep, eat well.


Always remember a psychologist 8 years ago telling me there was nothing wrong with me because I came in clean shaven, clean and ironed clothes, was "calm" and spoke coherently and I came across as intelligent!!


He didn't mention I turned up a hour late as had a panic attack and OCD to point I can't leave the house without ironed clothes, having a 30 minute shower, using 3 razors etc.


2 other psychologists since then were shocked and told me I was in clear need, 2 before that too (but cutbacks)


CPN told me as well I just need a good diet, and routine despite pouring my heart out and saying I have felt like self harm, and taking it further in past and getting more agressive as time goes on and I feel like failure even told her at my worst I was headbutting walls and desks and punching walls and kicking furniture to cope and instead now blank out the world which has the side effect of muted feelings, I don't enjoy things and haven't since I started doing this muting 10 years ago, even getting out of bed is a chore as my brain switches off everything so I feel more tired when I wake than when I went to bed.


Sorry to bring in my own issues just sharing, I never got over the impact and trauma of my relatives death because I had no one to speak to at time and threw myself into work, and education and when I left due to the stress I felt like a failure, and each time I tried and failed I felt worse it took away my entire 20s and now im into my mid 30s I look at friends and family who are married, with kids often teenagers of their own, have a house and mortgage and it makaes me feel worse.

Pyxis

Deka, it's difficult, isn't it?

I don't know what the answer is.
If I did, I'd be very happy, and very rich!
You just have to muddle though each day, I suppose, and keep looking for things that inspire.

jobbingmusician

I don't have much to say - very sorry that Torry and others are going through such horrible times and I send lots of squishes and love. I'm back from holiday although rather brain dead from too much music and not enough sleep. Love to all xxxx

onomatopoeia99

jobbingmusician wrote: »

I'm back from holiday although rather brain dead from too much music and not enough sleep.

Hope you had fun . I'm going away at the weekend, two weeks in Italy, half with family and half 'da solo'. I don't think I've been on a two week holiday since 1988, before I started university. Probably gone a bit overboard on packing to be honest! :eek: .

Looking forward to it, but also paniced about change to the daily routine, which always happens to me before a holiday.

dekaspace

Distressing day today, was woken around 2am by junkies thumping window for over 10 minutes demanding to get in, then woke up and it was pouring with rain so this encouraged upstairs neighbours to have her regular large gathering of friends (whom have young kids) to stay indoors and so hours of rowdy adults and kids, and then 20 minutes ago got a message from that leech relative of mine begging for cash as its a another "emergency" and "promising" to pay me back next week (I haven't fell for it in ages and they still claim they will "pay me back" the massive sum they already owe me)


Not feeling that great, and meant to start college tomorrow! So I have the rowdy goings on upstairs, but hard to go out due to dark and pouring rain!

annandale

I put up with awful neighbours for 10 years, it is horrible, but that should not stop you from going to college.

And block the number of your leech relative, it is easily enough done. If you have an Iphone just block the number and if you have an android you can download software.

Yes is its hard, but you can actually take charge and do something about it so this person is not constantly asking you for cash when they owe you a fortune already

20aday

dekaspace wrote: »

That is what happens with me, I keep getting told short answer "think positive" and just have a good nights sleep, eat well.


Always remember a psychologist 8 years ago telling me there was nothing wrong with me because I came in clean shaven, clean and ironed clothes, was "calm" and spoke coherently and I came across as intelligent!!


He didn't mention I turned up a hour late as had a panic attack and OCD to point I can't leave the house without ironed clothes, having a 30 minute shower, using 3 razors etc.


2 other psychologists since then were shocked and told me I was in clear need, 2 before that too (but cutbacks)


CPN told me as well I just need a good diet, and routine despite pouring my heart out and saying I have felt like self harm, and taking it further in past and getting more agressive as time goes on and I feel like failure even told her at my worst I was headbutting walls and desks and punching walls and kicking furniture to cope and instead now blank out the world which has the side effect of muted feelings, I don't enjoy things and haven't since I started doing this muting 10 years ago, even getting out of bed is a chore as my brain switches off everything so I feel more tired when I wake than when I went to bed.


Sorry to bring in my own issues just sharing, I never got over the impact and trauma of my relatives death because I had no one to speak to at time and threw myself into work, and education and when I left due to the stress I felt like a failure, and each time I tried and failed I felt worse it took away my entire 20s and now im into my mid 30s I look at friends and family who are married, with kids often teenagers of their own, have a house and mortgage and it makaes me feel worse.

Things like 'think positive' etc, I feel, sometimes does more harm than good-but that's just my personal opinion.

Some of your post resonated with me greatly; I went through something traumatic nearly 15 years ago and today marks a year since I first reported it to the Police. I've thrown myself into work for years now and I've recently made the switch from nights to days because I felt it might've helped me deal with things; as several people have told me I need to stop thinking about my thing but that's easier said than done as I'm sure you know yourself (as well as others who're reading/posting here).

How wrong could I be... there are a couple of things that have taken me back to 2003 around the time of my trauma and I also had a brief flashback the other night to the night in question... for the first time ever I nearly threw up over it .

So I know how you feel, even if our circumstances are very different although we're of similar ages.