Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

dekaspace

Gingernutty wrote: »

Dekaspace, you really need better social services input.

I did get a social worker visit a few weeks ago but for the social event side not because of mental health and the such.

With me getting into heated debates on many parts of this sites the reason for me exploding is I feel misunderstood which hurts when people accuse me on various parts of site that I am lying, contradicting myself, and most of the time tell me I am making excuses and I should just make an effort.

My emotional state is just fragile that I can't handle little changes to my life without anxiety and/or feeling physically and emotionally drained.

calleyw

Afternoon all,

Hugs and squishes and handshakes all around.


Any one heard from tea and others that MIA?


This is for WaS found in the works today






Hope this does not make the screen really wide I do apologise in advance if it does.


Yours


Calley x

20aday

Dekaspace it's no wonder you have been struggling with everything you posted in your penguin.

Again our circumstances are almost similar; I lived in a YMCA Hostel for a few months when I was 17 going on 18 so I know what you mean about unsavoury neighbours. The pink vinyl paint wall is ingrained on my memory until this day!

And I also lived alone for a few month's above my 'friend's' partner's takeaway... OK, so I wasn't sleeping on the street but the windows were that bad in the Winter it actually froze on the INSIDE :rotfl:. And if they were washing up downstairs forget having a bath as they'd actually connected the hot water to their kitchen underneath.

It sickens me to see you being branded something in your post; especially when that's the very thing I went through-15 years ago this month. Let's just say I felt sick this morning when I realised it was 1st September.

Luckily I've spoken to my manager at work who's been very understanding. I used to work nights but felt I couldn't keep hiding away from the public as I would never move on if I did.

Knew it would be a struggle (various triggers etc) but am hoping now I'm on days I won't be checkout trained as when it gets to much I can walk into the back and keep myself busy there but I suspect one or two of the other managers won't be so understanding!

dandy-candy

Hi all,

Hugs to those who need them.

Torry I read this poem the other day and I thought of you. Scroll down the page a bit https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland

I achieved a little thing today. I called up and switched my broadband to a better deal. It sounds minor but I've been putting it off for a month as I get very anxious making calls to do things like this. I still need to switch my gas and electricity but I need a bit of a break to build up to it. It's ridiculous I know, but there it is.

System

So my last week in this shop is upon me. Another woman i work with left last week, im a little annoyed though, she told me my manager made a massive deal of her leaving, hugging her, nearly crying etc. Shes on holiday now and what gets me is she never said gooodbye to me. I've known her 5 years and we've been through ups and downs and maybe it was just because she was going on holiday and forgot but i feel a bit hurt that she didn;t say goodbye to me.

Oh well. I saw something on Pinterest yesterday it said "don't look back and worry about the door that is closing, look forward to all the doors that are opening" and i feel that hits a spot. Last week, then a weeks holiday then a fresh start. Been somehwat up recently but seeing doctor next week.

Pyxis

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

So my last week in this shop is upon me. Another woman i work with left last week, im a little annoyed though, she told me my manager made a massive deal of her leaving, hugging her, nearly crying etc. Shes on holiday now and what gets me is she never said gooodbye to me. I've known her 5 years and we've been through ups and downs and maybe it was just because she was going on holiday and forgot but i feel a bit hurt that she didn;t say goodbye to me.

Oh well. I saw something on Pinterest yesterday it said "don't look back and worry about the door that is closing, look forward to all the doors that are opening" and i feel that hits a spot. Last week, then a weeks holiday then a fresh start. Been somehwat up recently but seeing doctor next week.

I would think she probably did just forget.

I bet she'll come back to work, remember, and be mortified.

And well done you for taking that plunge!

Have a good week off as well!

And jolly good about all the saving too! You'll soon be able to claim your debt-free badge! :T

20aday

dandy-candy wrote: »

Hi all,

Hugs to those who need them.

Torry I read this poem the other day and I thought of you. Scroll down the page a bit https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland

I achieved a little thing today. I called up and switched my broadband to a better deal. It sounds minor but I've been putting it off for a month as I get very anxious making calls to do things like this. I still need to switch my gas and electricity but I need a bit of a break to build up to it. It's ridiculous I know, but there it is.

Not ridiculous at all, I know how you feel. But you've done it so you should be proud of yourself :T

Pyxis

dandy-candy wrote: »

Hi all,

Hugs to those who need them.

Torry I read this poem the other day and I thought of you. Scroll down the page a bit https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland

I achieved a little thing today. I called up and switched my broadband to a better deal. It sounds minor but I've been putting it off for a month as I get very anxious making calls to do things like this. I still need to switch my gas and electricity but I need a bit of a break to build up to it. It's ridiculous I know, but there it is.

20aday wrote: »

Not ridiculous at all, I know how you feel. But you've done it so you should be proud of yourself :T

Yes, I put off things like that, too.
I'm a past master at putting things off.

Still got a very old mobile that drives me bonkers, because I can't face sorting out which phone provider, which tariff, etc. etc.

Plus I think I need a new router, but I can't face phoning my ISP.

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

Yes, I put off things like that, too.
I'm a past master at putting things off.

Still got a very old mobile that drives me bonkers, because I can't face sorting out which phone provider, which tariff, etc. etc.

Plus I think I need a new router, but I can't face phoning my ISP.

I need to sort out a service for the boiler, see when my contract runs out with landline/isp and change electric/gas for a better a deal. And get quotes for lino in the kitchen.


I can face doing any of it so you are not alone


Yours


Calley x

dekaspace

So, not sure to call this a victory or not but that relative that always begs me for money rang me tonight of which was expected as they knew I was coming back from 7 days at parents house, went into the buttering me up stage of asking how I am and then saying after a long 30 minute call they have to go, but "oh" they have an emergency his girlfriend is £10 short of her rent and he asked me if I can send her it.

I said no and he went "but I don't know what shes going to do now, she will worry" then this really annoyed me "I promised her the money, shes expecting it"

I gave him a talking to where I said he promised her it as he knew he can easily ask me, he went on with his usual how hes getting paid next week for definite, he couldn't pay me back last week as get this "the bank told me as of April this year they don't take in cash payments and only deal with bank transfers" I told him she should take responsibility for her own actions and not constantly turn to other people.

I got huffs and puffs and more "I don't know what I am going to do"

What he didn't realise was his mum spoke to me last week and told me he had been on phone to her telling her how skint he was and how he was struggling (its more of a guilt trip with him to her rather than outright begging) so she sent him £35, but his dad sent him a further £20

Last week surprise suprise he told he he had £55 he can give me which never materialised.

He eventually backed down and told me he will find some other way to get her cash

So as I said near the start, I expected this call as he knew I was back from visiting relatives today, which is why after every holiday/trip I go on now I am not refreshed after coming home as I come home to the stress.

Oh and not sure if I stated it earlier in thread but think I have an severe allergy now but might be related to me being obese and having sleep apnea, what is happening is I woke in middle of night choking in that I couldn't even breathe at all and it made me literally sit up in bed and wake.

I had some very spicy sauce on something to eat 30 minutes before bed, about 2 months ago I had some spicy sweets and some spicy noodles which had chilli oil in and was even worse i.e woke up choking so bad I was not breathing from throat for minutes.

Both occasions I had a dry throat the next day and pain in my back, had a few smaller occasions in the past year where I wake woken for a few seconds and had to gulp to breath but only about a year ago had it severe like this again when I had something super spicy.