Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask for the deposit back from a cancelled hen do?

ptrichardson

I'd probably politely ask if it would be possible to get the deposit back, but then not push it.

Its not clear from the post if the money has actually been paid yet - it could be sat in her bank.

scottiemac

I don't think there is much chance of getting anything back.
To be honest, if I were not that close i would never have accepted in the first place. I'm not sure how you would ask about a refund anyway.
You could just be blunt about it.

heuchera

It's fair to ask, but don't hold your breath..

Why anyone would allow themselves to feel pressured into spending £100 on a do for someone who isn't even a close friend is beyond me.

Pollycat

heuchera wrote: »

Why anyone would allow themselves to feel pressured into spending £100 on a do for someone who isn't even a close friend is beyond me.

The £100 was just the deposit.

Itsbobbins

Yes. If she really isn't going through with the marriage then she must have known in her heart. If it's just a blip then there will be one. Ask her, it's not your fault and you paid in good faith.

Pollycat

Itsbobbins wrote: »

Yes. If she really isn't going through with the marriage then she must have known in her heart. If it's just a blip then there will be one. Ask her, it's not your fault and you paid in good faith.

We don't know if it's the ex -bride-to-be's choice not to go through with the marriage. She may have been shagging the best man & the groom-to-be walked in on them & called it off.

meknowalot-51

Ask the others and see what they say.Some might want to carry on and still go for the "hen do",even the nearly bride.If the answers are not to your liking then you'll have to ask her directly.The worst case scenario is the deposits non refundable and your out £100.These sort of questions should be asked when handing over the money as you never know whats around the corner.Planning a wedding today could be one or two years in advance......long time.A big plus for the both of them is better to find out now than seven years down the road and two kids,there's always a plus side.

tgroom57

cadon wrote: »

You might expect the return of a wedding present in the circumstances. But this is a deposit for an event which isn't taking place, the venue will pocket the cash not the bride! I find the idea of seeking compensation from the bride very strange indeed.

This is the detail I find inconveniently lacking in the original question. You're all assuming the deposit is already paid to a company. Who collected the deposit money? Was it actually paid to a venue or is it being held by the bride / chief bridesmaid, for instance. The matter gets rather murky if the deposit hasn't actually been spent yet. How many were going on this hen do anyway? 10 hens and you're talking a lot of money.

JayD

You do not make it clear if you made the bookings or if the bride made a blanket booking for which you all contributed your shares towards the deposit she would have had to make. If this was the case, then it may be that she can claim back the deposit, so in those circumstances it would be wise to ask if she will be getting back the deposit and reimbursing all the hens.

However, if it was a booking you made personally, then referring to your booking terms and conditions would be the way to find out if you are entitled to a refund - and if not then it is sad but I think it is in no way the bride's responsibility to refund you.

sammyjammy

By the sounds of it losing the £100 deposit would be a win win for me, I wouldn't have to fork out the rest of the money and I wouldn't have to go to some awful hen do :T