Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask for the deposit back from a cancelled hen do?

Sam_Rogers

If you could afford to go on the hen do including all the additional spend that would incur, you can afford to lose the deposit. It would be insensitive to ask at a time when she's probably already at a low point.

happyinflorida

If you are not close to this girl - why did you agree to go and pay such a large deposit of £100?

Did you not ask if it were a refundable deposit?

No harm in asking that now but be a bit more aware in the future.

If you're struggling now think about how much you'd be struggling to go on the hen do as that would involve a lot more expenditure and the actual wedding itself would involve even more. Have your circumstances changed or did you not think this out properly before?

stmartinsdiver

It seems best ask if the deposits are refundable or if they can perhaps be used for for something else for the 'hens' at the same place. I shudder to think what the total cost would have been if you all coughed up £100 each just for the deposit but if neither of the above are possible you'll just have to write it off and make a mental note to only accept similar invitations if they come from close friends or maybe question whether these extravagant hen parties are perhaps a bit OTT? .

Stevie_Palimo

If I cancel an order can I get my deposit back?

Probably not. Most deposits are not returnable. If you cancel an order, then you are in breach of contract, and the seller could be entitled to keep your deposit as compensation for your breach. However, it would have to be a reasonable amount, bearing in mind the expenses likely to have been incurred by the retailer.

POLAR_BILL

I would ask. If I was in that situation, I would feel guilty about taking friends money and not repaying it. I would probably be annoyed at losing money but better than being hated by friends.

sawanderer

A similar thing happened to my group of friends who had organised a long-weekend trip to Europe for a mate's stag do.

We ended up going on the trip anyway, and rather than a Stag Do, we called it his "Stag Don't." We all had a great time and it really helped our friend through a tough period.

tain

Still go on the hen do. She probably needs a good drink up.

Dill

I would think almost everyone who has coughed up £100 will be thinking along the same lines. Let the dust settle a bit and ask about a refund.

pigpen

I'd ask.. but don't leave it too long as she may just decide to spend it!

Or still go anyway!

Pollycat

happyinflorida wrote: »

If you are not close to this girl - why did you agree to go and pay such a large deposit of £100?

My thought too.

But as this is a 'Money Moral Dilemma', there is zero chance of getting an answer to that question (or any other, for that matter).

I think it all hinges on whether the ex-bride-to-be is getting any money back herself.

If she isn't, I'd chalk it up to experience.
If she is (or has) getting money back, wouldn't she have already offered you your deposit back anyway?