How much rent should my daughter pay

lazer

audigex wrote: »

I've always gone with the theory that rent to parents for adult offspring should be the greater of

- Minimum: the extra it costs to keep them on top of your own bills
- 50% of their income
- £200/month

If they'd really struggle with £200/month, I'd consider reducing it down as far as the minimum "extra" cost of keeping them in your home. Above £200/month I think a flat 50% is fair considering most people renting privately pay >50% of their income in bills etc

If they earn enough that 50% of their income is more expensive than living elsewhere, they shouldn't be living with you anyway

Maybe some people like having their children living with them. In my extended family, adult children tend to stay at home unless they move in with a partner, go to university, or move away for work.


I think the maximum you should charge should be a proportional charge of all bills, if 2 parents and 1 adult child, then charge 1/3 of the bills (Rent, food, heating, electric, phone, TV etc) - any more than this and you are making a profit of your own child.

pollypenny

She is an adult at 18. Young people cannot have it both ways, a
Though many do seem to want the privileges without the responsibilities.

pigpen

I told mine 1/3rd of their income to provide for their needs and if they can find anywhere cheaper to be my guest and move out!

£200 a week.. I'd want at least £70 for the 2 of them.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

She's trapped living there, whatever way you look at it. She won't be able to get social housing because she's got a home and she won't be able to pass a credit check, pay a deposit or be accepted as a private tenant whilst she's dependent upon benefits. So whatever you do, she has no choice but to accept - but you need to be aware that telling her to find somewhere else means you'd be making her homeless, presumably with the toddler, unless you're thinking of throwing her out and keeping the baby.


It's a dangerous game to play, that - whatever happens could backfire, whether it's she moves in with the first bloke she meets who has a home of his own and you never see the toddler again, whether she takes the chance on social housing and ends up in a bug infested B&B for eighteen months before being moved halfway across the country, whether she gets a better education and a job and moves herself somewhere she can afford, they're all risks you have to be prepared to take before making any threats.


I sympathise, it's not easy for anyone concerned. But she was incredibly young when she had the baby and she'd have found it a lot easier to up sticks and move at this age had she opted for a termination. But she didn't. She had a baby. So she's trapped and probably resisting a lot because she's becoming aware of just how much freedom, how many chances and how much of her life she has lost; essentially, she won't be in any way as free as her peers until she's in her mid thirties. That's almost an entire lifetime to her.


I think if your wife is in agreement with you (you can't do this if she's vehemently against it), you talk to her about what she wants to do - get her own place, get qualifications, work, travel, whatever. And then talk about ways in which she can achieve those goals, such as attending university somewhere needing her to find housing and childcare through the student advice channels after enrolling in college to take Level 3 qualifications. Once you all have an idea of what she actually wants for herself and the toddler, you're already talking and it's a lot easier to explain how much food, clothes and bills are and how it's necessary to make and stick to budgets, etc.

It might not work - but it might, thus saving you all from the possibility of a complete breakdown in your relationship that may never be repaired. So it's got to be worth a try, hasn't it?

Loz01

Well £30 a week is clearly peanuts considering how much she's getting in benefits and child support, I'd say she should be paying at LEAST £75 a week! Sit down with her, write out every direct debit you pay (council tax, water, gas and elec, broadband, sky, TV, insurance etc) and tell her bluntly that the amount is nowhere near enough.

Yes she's still young but she's a mother now with a 2 year old and it isn't going to help her in any way, shape or form if you just keep blindly funding her. She'll never understand the real world otherwise or have any idea how to budget if she ever does move out!

fairy_lights

If she was saving some of the £200 a week she receives to fund a deposit on her own place, or so she could afford to go back to college then maybe it would be reasonable for her to only pay a minimal amount of rent. But if she's spending it all on clothes and nights out while the rest of the family subsidises her lifestyle then that's a different story. Whatever the case I would expect her to at least be pulling her weight around the house and doing her share of cooking and cleaning.

missbiggles1

lazer wrote: »

Maybe some people like having their children living with them. In my extended family, adult children tend to stay at home unless they move in with a partner, go to university, or move away for work.


I think the maximum you should charge should be a proportional charge of all bills, if 2 parents and 1 adult child, then charge 1/3 of the bills (Rent, food, heating, electric, phone, TV etc) - any more than this and you are making a profit of your own child.

And that will come to a great deal more than £30 pw.

pigpen

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

She's trapped living there, whatever way you look at it. She won't be able to get social housing because she's got a home and she won't be able to pass a credit check, pay a deposit or be accepted as a private tenant whilst she's dependent upon benefits. .
?

that isnt true.. she can save a deposit with her very generous income and pay her board of £70 a week.. I doubt she needs to spend £130 a week on clothes for her and a baby! .. so within 2-3 months she would have enough for a deposit for a rented place... and with a guarantor she can easily get her own place.

My son, gf and baby had a rented home at 16, I got a mortgage at 18 with a toddler.. DS1 then got a second house whilst 19 and on benefits... and is now on his third home having added a baby which he moved into at 20.

We later got a council house whilst on a student income (grant+loan+child benefit)

Homeownertobe

pigpen wrote: »

that isnt true.. she can save a deposit with her very generous income and pay her board of £70 a week.. I doubt she needs to spend £130 a week on clothes for her and a baby! .. so within 2-3 months she would have enough for a deposit for a rented place... and with a guarantor she can easily get her own place.

My son, gf and baby had a rented home at 16, I got a mortgage at 18 with a toddler.. DS1 then got a second house whilst 19 and on benefits... and is now on his third home having added a baby which he moved into at 20.

We later got a council house whilst on a student income (grant+loan+child benefit)

I must be living in a different world because I don't know anyone like this.

Everyone I know wouldn't dream of being so irresponsible and on the public purse to boot!

Neilnwalker

Thank you for all your comments, very much appreciated. So many people have different ideas but this post has helped me. Once again thank you