How much rent should my daughter pay

Mojisola

JReacher1 wrote: »

Nobody on this forum can help him make that decision. In fact I would worry about someone who would take advice from an anonymous group of people that could significantly impact his daughter and grandchild!

Getting suggestions from people not emotionally involved in the situation can clarify decision making.

At the moment, the daughter is making her parents feel they are being unfair by asking her to contribute to the household bills.

She may only be 19 but she's also a parent and needs to grow up quickly and behave like an adult who is responsible for her child. Her parents have done their bit while she was growing up - she now needs to do the same for her child. Living the high life on money given to her by taxpayers and the child's father to bring up the child isn't right.

Pollycat

JReacher1 wrote: »

People are too judgemental on this site. She is a 19 year old girl who has a two year old baby and based on a new poster posting one line everyone seems to think this girl is out every night living it up on benefits!

The OP's choice is to keep the rent at £30, increase it to £60 or throw her out.

Nobody on this forum can help him make that decision. In fact I would worry about someone who would take advice from an anonymous group of people that could significantly impact his daughter and grandchild!

Posters can only comment on what the thread starter decides to tell us.

I think being judgemental about a 19 year old girl with a 2 year old baby whose parents have moved into a larger house to accommodate her and her child more comfortably and who thinks that paying £30 per week is too much to pay to be housed & fed whilst 'she lives the high life' - which is her own Father's comment about her - sits comfortably with me.

If it's not so with you then I'm willing to live with that.

I'm going on what the OP has posted - not what you think the daughter may or may not be doing with her benefits every night.

If the daughter wishes to join MSE and explain that she actually does all the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning and shopping and isn't out every night living it up on benefits then I'll respond based on the information she provides.

JReacher1

Pollycat wrote: »

Posters can only comment on what the thread starter decides to tell us.

I think being judgemental about a 19 year old girl with a 2 year old baby whose parents have moved into a larger house to accommodate her and her child more comfortably and who thinks that paying £30 per week is too much to pay to be housed & fed whilst 'she lives the high life' - which is her own Father's comment about her - sits comfortably with me.

If it's not so with you then I'm willing to live with that.

I'm going on what the OP has posted - not what you think the daughter may or may not be doing with her benefits every night.

If the daughter wishes to join MSE and explain that she actually does all the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning and shopping and isn't out every night living it up on benefits then I'll respond based on the information she provides.

This is what I'm talking about. People fit facts around the small information we have to make snap judgements to fit their preconceptions of what they "think" the situation is. There is nothing that says the daughter thinks £30 is too much. The daughter thinks £60 is too much.

There is also nothing that says what the daughter is doing with her money apart from the line "living the high life". That could easily mean she is just sat at home all day not working. However in reality she is saving every penny she gets to allow her to move out and get her own place.

Nobody knows as we just don't have this information.

JReacher1

Mojisola wrote: »

At the moment, the daughter is making her parents feel they are being unfair by asking her to contribute to the household bills.

Another statement with no evidence. The father wants to put the bills up. I can't see anything that says her mother does.

Pollycat

JReacher1 wrote: »

This is what I'm talking about. People fit facts around the small information we have to make snap judgements to fit their preconceptions of what they "think" the situation is. There is nothing that says the daughter thinks £30 is too much. The daughter thinks £60 is too much.

There is also nothing that says what the daughter is doing with her money apart from the line "living the high life". That could easily mean she is just sat at home all day not working. However in reality she is saving every penny she gets to allow her to move out and get her own place.

Nobody knows as we just don't have this information.

That was my mistake, I should have posted that she thinks £60 is too much.

That was why I asked this:

Pollycat wrote: »

Just curious - how long ago was the £30.00 pw agreed on and how did you arrive at that figure?

JReacher1 wrote: »

Nobody knows as we just don't have this information.

Therefore:

Pollycat wrote: »

Posters can only comment on what the thread starter decides to tell us.

JReacher1

HappyMJ wrote: »

Then what is she doing with £170 per week. She's not paying for anything. Everything is paid for by mother.

Again you've no facts to support this. I don't see anything that says the OP is buying clothes, nappy's etc. For the baby. She could also be saving the money for her future.

You've obviously decided that the girl is out every night partying. If this was true then I would suspect the OP would have mentioned that they provide free babysitting. I find it an interesting omission that he doesn't.

missbiggles1

BNT wrote: »

It is unlikely that she will get a better deal than room and board for her and her child for £30 a week. However, this is not a normal commercial arrangement; she is your daughter and you need to do what is best for her, for you and the rest of the family.

As an adult living with you, she should be expected to contribute to the family living. You have already accommodated her by moving into a larger house. If she is living with you, she should not expect to be living a better life than the rest of you unless she is fully funding that. By charging her less than she is costing you, you are subsidising a better life for her than for her sisters and parents. That doesn't seem right. I would start, not from what is the right amount for her to be paying, but what is the right amount for her to have left over to pay for the things that you are not already providing. The rest should go towards family spending. I think that either she lives with you as part of the family and contributes as such, or she lives with under a commercial arrangement, at something closer to a market rate. The former seems much more harmonious.

I think that's an excellent point and one which isn't made often enough on these sorts of discussions.

missbiggles1

JReacher1 wrote: »

Again you've no facts to support this. I don't see anything that says the OP is buying clothes, nappy's etc. For the baby. She could also be saving the money for her future.

You've obviously decided that the girl is out every night partying. If this was true then I would suspect the OP would have mentioned that they provide free babysitting. I find it an interesting omission that he doesn't.

You save after you've paid to support yourself and your children, not before.

mark5

I would keep all receipts for things bought for her and the baby (nappies, food, baby wipes etc) and expect the money back off her along with a contribution to the main household bills.(maybe 5th of electric, gas, water etc)
She decided to have a baby she needs to take responsibility for it, I think carrying her financially would do more harm long term

At 19 and having a baby she's probably had no taste of the real world yet, one of the apprentices in work (few years back) was stunned when we told him in work that water costs about £50 per month, he honestly thought it was free, he couldn't understand council tax either, had never heard of it.
He was moaning his mum wanted rent and he had a car and Mobil phone to pay for.

BNT

JReacher1 wrote: »

Again you've no facts to support this. I don't see anything that says the OP is buying clothes, nappy's etc. For the baby. .

From the opening post:

We provide her and the baby with everything gas, electricity, phone, food, washing etc.

People can only advise based on the information they are given, or they can ask for more information. If the information given is wrong or misleading, the advice might well be wrong or misguided.