Pip

GlasweJen

I was a previously stable iatrophobe, able to visit familiar GPs and the hospital appointments though the stress of the appointments meant I'd go, get diagnosed and the consultant would write a long plan of different tactics to use against the disease, I'd be discharged and re-referred if none of the pills worked.

It all came about when my mum was accused of having munchausens syndrome and using me as her proxy, I ended up under social services and it turned out I was really quite ill and needed a pacemaker but they couldn't operate as I was traumatised from before.

When I went to uni the student services paid for me to receive CBT and talking therapy and that helped and I got my pacemaker.

First ever "medical" for benefits and even though they knew I am phobic the guy dismissed it as "white coat syndrome" and has written so many lies and insinuated so much that I can't trust them. I know I'm in mental health crisis but the last thing I can do is go to my GP, doctors band together and I have completely lost trust. I've just lost HRM and MR DLA so can't afford the carers never mind psychotherapy privately and I'm stuck don't know what to do. I've already missed hospital appointments and have one coming up that I'm terrified to go to.