1.am I reasonable 2.childcare costs

susancs

You have your child for 104 days in a year so your ex has DD for 261 days a year and if you divide the £3000 you pay per annum that is £11.49 you pay per day towards your daughter's upkeep when she is not in your care, which won't go very far in regard to childcare during the 14 weeks school holidays. With the average national childcare costs for 25 hours a week at a childminder coming to £103.04 a week (your DD probably needs more than 25 hours a week as school age). If your ex will be paying for all clothes, shoes, uniform, school supplies, school trips and after or before school childcare during school term time, fuel to take your dd to school and back, maintaining a roof over your dd's head, food and laundry partly out of the money you pay, even if she does earn more than you, she won't have much left to save for the additional holiday childcare costs.

Here is the childcare costs annual survey for 2015, so you can see how much childcare might cost in your area.
http://www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/sites/default/files/files/Childcare_cost_survey_2015_Final.pdf

Jagraf

susancs wrote: »

You have your child for 104 days in a year so your ex has DD for 261 days a year and if you divide the £3000 you pay per annum that is £11.49 you pay per day towards your daughter's upkeep when she is not in your care, which won't go very far in regard to childcare during the 14 weeks school holidays. With the average national childcare costs for 25 hours a week at a childminder coming to £103.04 a week (your DD probably needs more than 25 hours a week as school age). If your ex will be paying for all clothes, shoes, uniform, school supplies, school trips and after or before school childcare during school term time, fuel to take your dd to school and back, maintaining a roof over your dd's head, food and laundry partly out of the money you pay, even if she does earn more than you, she won't have much left to save for the additional holiday childcare costs.

Here is the childcare costs annual survey for 2015, so you can see how much childcare might cost in your area.
http://www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/sites/default/files/files/Childcare_cost_survey_2015_Final.pdf

Absolutely but maintenance isn't at all based on what a child needs, it's based on a sum on a spreadsheet. So fairness and reality don't come into it (either way).

justme111

Judi wrote: »

So sad when all boils down to money

I do not think it is about money
It is about appreciation and trust and fear of being taken for mug and empathy.
If people could not get on to the extent they had to split it is difficult to start getting on after split as well specially as there is all the emotional baggage

Guest101

susancs wrote: »

You have your child for 104 days in a year so your ex has DD for 261 days a year and if you divide the £3000 you pay per annum that is £11.49 you pay per day towards your daughter's upkeep when she is not in your care, which won't go very far in regard to childcare during the 14 weeks school holidays. With the average national childcare costs for 25 hours a week at a childminder coming to £103.04 a week (your DD probably needs more than 25 hours a week as school age). If your ex will be paying for all clothes, shoes, uniform, school supplies, school trips and after or before school childcare during school term time, fuel to take your dd to school and back, maintaining a roof over your dd's head, food and laundry partly out of the money you pay, even if she does earn more than you, she won't have much left to save for the additional holiday childcare costs.

Here is the childcare costs annual survey for 2015, so you can see how much childcare might cost in your area.
http://www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/sites/default/files/files/Childcare_cost_survey_2015_Final.pdf

Right but the mother will provide the same and it will be supplemented by the tax payer. So in reality it's closer to £30 a day, which is plenty for the day to day.

Poppie68

Guest101 wrote: »

Right but the mother will provide the same and it will be supplemented by the tax payer. So in reality it's closer to £30 a day, which is plenty for the day to day.

What tax payer supplement?
The OP pays £250 a month, CSA calculates it at £221, on those figures the OP must have a monthly income of circa £2000.He says the ex earns double of what he does, on those figures the ex would probably be entitled to CB at the most and be a higher rate tax payer.

duchy

What I've just picked up on is that when the OP made his arrangements for access his daughter wasn't in school so was in some form of year round childcare whilst Mum worked so the school situation has changed everything - and what Mum seems to be trying to do is to make him realize it's a whole new way of doing things (probably just as he'd got used to the current access arrangements).

This might be a good chance to sit down together and start with a blank sheet of paper -throw the old way of doing things away and start again - looking at impact of holidays.....and also talking about things like taking the child on holiday, Christmas etc.

duchy

Poppie68 wrote: »

What tax payer supplement?
The OP pays £250 a month, CSA calculates it at £221, on those figures the OP must have a monthly income of circa £2000.He says the ex earns double of what he does, on those figures the ex would probably be entitled to CB at the most and be a higher rate tax payer.

Don't let logic spoil a benefit bashing snide comment
Some people can't grasp that single parents come in many shapes and forms .
Let alone that a woman might earn more than a man !

ecgirl07

Usually this forum suggests costs are split on an ratio to income basis.

Exg earns 60k op earns 30k so should childcare holidays costs not be split on a similar basis? Exg paying 2/3 op paying 1/3?

Op seems like a decent nrp, hope it all works out for him and his family.

FBaby

Some people can't grasp that single parents come in many shapes and forms .

Thanks for posting this. Indeed, whatever we read in the medias, there are many single parents who do work full-time, get no benefits at all, and do struggle financially.

duchy

FBaby wrote: »

Thanks for posting this. Indeed, whatever we read in the medias, there are many single parents who do work full-time, get no benefits at all, and do struggle financially.

I suspect it's easier to accept that Mothers who are single do very nicely lounging on benefits than accept that many work full-time, assume full day to day responsibility for themselves and their children - and lose out on leisure time with their kids when an absent Dad has them at the weekend only so gets to be "Fun Dad" and do all the nice stuff rather than the weekday grind of up early, get the kids to school clean and fed, work, back home feed kids , help with homework, chores once kids are in bed so there's a clean home and clean clothes etc , fall into bed knackered grind every day and also tend to be the parent who says no rather than the indulging parent both on cost and discipline grounds.
If a child is sick they are the ones who take the time off and face the wrath of their employers ....... and then get the attitude that as single Mums they are living some kind of life of Reilly and get snide comments from people who believe the Daily Mail and take cheap shots.

Many of these Mothers would love the absent parent to genuinely co-parent and share the hard work instead of just having the fun stuff at weekends , be prepared to share the sick days etc but even just an acknowledgement of how hard they work for their children rather than snide DM reader type comments would be a start !