1.am I reasonable 2.childcare costs

duchy

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Usually this forum suggests costs are split on an ratio to income basis.

Exg earns 60k op earns 30k so should childcare holidays costs not be split on a similar basis? Exg paying 2/3 op paying 1/3?

Op seems like a decent nrp, hope it all works out for him and his family.

If all "caring hours" were part of the child support equation then child support would need to be calculated on a more realistic basis too as most PWC tend to cover 6/7ths of chld caring hours so I think your idea is a bit too simplistic - especially as even if the PWC is the higher earner (which in itself is less usual) this needs to be offset with their higher daily living costs as they will be housing, feeding, clothing the children usually six days out of seven (based on the NRP having the children every other weekend which is a fairly usual arrangement).

I think many NRPs are decent but especially if the now PWC was the one who did the majority of the child organization , like hours fitted around the kids, school pick ups, nursery etc whilst the other parent worked fulltime then when they seperate there isn't always the understanding of how much that is to do when you need to work fulltime after a split as well.

Daddys.girl

Firstly I just want to remind u guys 1. I'm replying from my phone and not Mr articulate with my words, so my replies will be short n sweet and I may come across bitter, which I'm not.

Thanks for the replies,There's been a lot,some critical ( which I'm totally cool with) which I Don't agree with, but understand. The only one that made me twitch was "it's sad u don't want to spend time with dd" I take it this was ment as a dig and not in sympathy, so I feel like I have to defend myselfnabit oK I did say the word sit for dd, it was a kind of finger of speech and as I'm typing on the phone I look at shortest way of getting it out of ther..
I had day off yesterday, so took dd to indoor playground, we was there for 4 hours and majority of the time I spent climbing on my hands and knees through tubes,up and down slides and running around chasing ect , this is the case when ever I take her to the park ect, unlike the majority of mums thatnwas sat there with there nose in there phones or enjoying coffee with nd having a chat with there friends,I'm knocking these mums, as totally get its good and need for them to have time out and why not. With me and for single dad's it's harder, my friends kids are different age to mine, so I don't get to take dd out with other kids and she's got no siblings to play with,so it's allways one on one and full on when ever were together.my ex has her baby friends so dd does spend a lot of time playing with them.

Rather ans individual Qs I'll just lay out there in 1 post.

Xmas time? Last year it's was exs turn to have and they went to abroad to visit family,so I had my Xmas with dd week before, year before its was my turn, which the ex came with me

School hols before? Yep I never had to worry about it before, as she was at nursery, it only came to my attention it would be problem gettimg time off when last year I was refused 2 weeks leave in summer hols, I wanted to spend the time with dd bit could not. Goimg forward I may be able to get 1 week or 2 if I'm v lucky in the summer window,I won't be able for Xmas as had that off last year. The rest of time of maybe more plausible,I will see.

Iv run out of time now, so will post more later.

onlyroz

Would you have better luck getting time off for say May or October half term?

Jagraf

Guest101 wrote: »

Right but the mother will provide the same and it will be supplemented by the tax payer. So in reality it's closer to £30 a day, which is plenty for the day to day.

I didn't get any supplement. In fact my daughter has lost her child benefit because my husband (her stepfather) earns too much. In theory he is paying for her instead of either biological parent lol.

FBaby

Don't you/ex have any family who would be happy to have DD for a week or at least some days?

My children didn't do the same thing one day to another and I had to organise on my own each single day of the 6 weeks. It was a mixture of days at holiday club, day with a friend, then day with me and children of same friend, then same with another friend, then a day with my ex's parents, a day with their dad, a week with my mum (which due to travel distance meant that I had to take them, come back, go again, but then took my week's holiday afterwards). Somehow managed to get through the 6 weeks like this for over 5 years. Not once did ex organised even one day.

BrassicWoman

that does indeed sound like a fab day with DD

I apologise for reading too much into "sit"

It doesn't matter a stuff what other guys do. Do what is best for dd - which includes keeping mum on side.

Daddys.girl

I think justme111 hit the nail on the head, it's probably about 10% about money and the rest is how justme put it

My gripes? ( tit for tats)

1. spent 3 days fixing her heating, I was off ill at the time with man flu and chest infection, felt like crap. Anyway got no tnx. Then toped of by I goto docs (after 10day wait for an app) there running 45mins late,there's 2 more in front and it's hit or miss if I can make it to pick dd up by6, I phoned ex asked can you take 1/2 hr out to pick dd up (she works flexi so can make up time)she says sorry not my problem, so I had miss my docs app and wait another week for the next one
2. Spent 3 months going round after work to look after dd, once she was sorted spent the rest of the night watching crap Polish TV, then had to freezing cold motor to drive home, I get no tnx,so may say that's what you have to do, muck in, well you should try it
3.i get fed up of seeing her grass grow to 4inches, then the cats cropping in it, then dd got play in the garden, well my conscious won't let that happen, so I cut it.
4.yesterday I asked if she could drop dd of on way to work as she drives pass my house, she said no your have to come and get her as she's not got time and have to get ready for work, I go round at 10:45 am and she's just leaving for work, hardly early start, things like this is common.
5. Whilst I'm round ther I replace broken light in dd bedroom, OK indirectly I'm doing this for dd as it's her bed room light, I get no thanks
6. I have new gf and it's getting serious, been seeing each other for 7months, it's complex due to gf family,2 months ago I told the ex that the gf could end up on my doorstep at a drop of a hat (basically her family could kick her out if they found about us) and I don't want to my dd to turn up and think who's this strange women in daddy's house, so I said to ex how do want to play it, I suggested that my ex and dd meet her before this happens, the ex was cool about this and agreed,we made time and date but ex pulled out said she couldnt make it, so last night 2 months later I txd her to say can u and dd come round as In tonight to meet gf, she replied I won't be picking up dd till 6 and it will be to late, I replied how come you can pick dd up Monday nights at 7pm from dd little friend, she gets the hump and said "I don't have to explain myself to you and the world don't revolve around you" I'm adult enough to accept that one day the ex will meet a guy and he will become a big part of my dd life, and if he's decent I will shake his hand.im repsecting my ex and trying to do the right thing in this scenario, not many men would.
7. Her salary is double mine, she's financial stable, if she wasn't then I would not question money. If she wants to start making things 50/50 then both put 3k in, does it really cost 6k to fund a 4-5 yr old?

So now iv told you guys my life story you can appreciate more where I'm coming from, if she plays ball ( figer of speech) I will dish out the £s, but I'm being mugged off and I'm becoming less inclined and to the point of saying, fu I'll pay my minium payment.shes threatened csa,I told her pls do, I have spoken to a solicitor and they advised that's fine, csa will look at it, you've ticked all the boxes and it may even coasting me less

Daddys.girl

Dental/docs app?

My ex works 1min drive from both. I work 1 hrs drive from both,she will take dd to apps and then I will look after whilst the ex makes up on flexi,this is one of exs gripes, but for me to to do it I would have to take 1/2 day or a day off
And most of time if it's docs it's an emergency app on the day.