1.am I reasonable 2.childcare costs

peachyprice

Guest101 wrote: »

Exactly there's already competition and his requests aren't even in the pot yet. Thanks for making my point

Neither are anybody else's he works with. It's an even playing field at the moment where he stands as much chance as the rest of his 5 colleagues of getting some time in school holidays.

How does that make your point? You think he's going to be the only one singled out, come April, that doesn't get any school holidays?

Guest101

peachyprice wrote: »

Neither are anybody else's he works with. It's an even playing field at the moment where he stands as much chance as the rest of his 5 colleagues of getting some time in school holidays.

How does that make your point? You think he's going to be the only one singled out, come April, that doesn't get any school holidays?

That's not what I said - though if that was to happen it would be perfectly legal.


My point was that up until now the OP has not had to worry about term times, but DD is starting school now and therefore his requests will now be added to the general requests.


To be absolutely clear, in most places you do not have to wait until 1st April to book off Annual Leave, it's just a date where the counter resets. The fact that the employer is making people wait, clearly shows that they expect competition.


Until now there have been for arguments sake 3 people applying for, 4 bookable weeks each thereby already using up the out of term time allocation.


Now there is a newcomer, clearly someone or multiple people are going to lose out.

tea_lover

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

He works in a corporate environment which in my experience means it's rare for someone without children to choose time off during school holidays.

It's rare for someone without children to be allowed time off during school holidays in my experience. It's not at all rare for people without children to have plans that might fit into that time or want to be given a level playing field.

Which I realise isn't the point of this thread, but it is infuriating to see parents arguing among themselves about holiday entitlement having already decided that a large amount of the population are automatically lower down the pecking order.

System

So sad when all boils down to money

Guest101

tea_lover wrote: »

It's rare for someone without children to be allowed time off during school holidays in my experience. It's not at all rare for people without children to have plans that might fit into that time or want to be given a level playing field.

Which I realise isn't the point of this thread, but it is infuriating to see parents arguing among themselves about holiday entitlement having already decided that a large amount of the population are automatically lower down the pecking order.

It's also not accurate, as those who's partners work in education would have the same restrictions

LannieDuck

OP, when you made the agreement with your ex that you'd have your daughter every other weekend and every Weds, did you not discuss holidays?

What happens if you want to take DD away on holiday with you one year? What happens about xmas - do you never get to have her at xmas, or only if it falls on a Weds?

Quite aside from financial arrangements (my view is that whoever has childcare responsibility on that day should meet any costs, in addition to child maintenance), I think you should agree that you have your daughter for a certain proportion of school holidays.

duchy

tea_lover wrote: »

It's rare for someone without children to be allowed time off during school holidays in my experience. It's not at all rare for people without children to have plans that might fit into that time or want to be given a level playing field.

Which I realise isn't the point of this thread, but it is infuriating to see parents arguing among themselves about holiday entitlement having already decided that a large amount of the population are automatically lower down the pecking order.

My experience is entirely different to yours and I've had many jobs over the years from huge corporates to small family firms.

Almost everywhere I've worked parents have never had more right to school holiday time off than anyone else. The reality is however that any parent with commonsense makes sure they know the earliest they can book leave and get in first- More to do with organization - Often people without kids don't even think about going away so far ahead - but parents know the window they need in advance. Parents getting in as early as possible to book school holidays is no different to someone without kids having a wedding to attend or having festival tickets )both often known a year in advance). You know what you are doing early on - and f someone decides later on they quite fancy a week off in August and there's no leave left - that's down to them and nothing to do with not having children. With annual leave- regardless of the reasons why- You snooze- you lose when it comes to popular dates.

duchy

LannieDuck wrote: »

OP, when you made the agreement with your ex that you'd have your daughter every other weekend and every Weds, did you not discuss holidays?

What happens if you want to take DD away on holiday with you one year? What happens about xmas - do you never get to have her at xmas, or only if it falls on a Weds?

Quite aside from financial arrangements (my view is that whoever has childcare responsibility on that day should meet any costs, in addition to child maintenance), I think you should agree that you have your daughter for a certain proportion of school holidays.

Although I've always worked organizing school holidays always tended to fall to me rather than my husband - I tended work work termtime only jobs or reduced hours with family helping out -Once we split it got more complicated simply because I needed to work more hours.

If the OP never really had to think about school holidays before then like my ex it probably came as a bit of a shock as he'd never really had to even consider school holidays before.

Christmas, Mother's day, Father's day, important family events all really need to be treated as exceptions - Insisting on his days/her days ca often mean cutting off your nose to spite your face. No point in insisting you can only do wednesdays in summer if you want some days over Christmas. It'll be used as a stick to beat you if it's all one way. Build in a bit of flexibiity with advance warning and agreement - and everyone benefits.

Yes holidays should have being discussed when talking about sharing care but I wouldn't expect a Father to say "I get five weeks a year holiday - I'll "give you" two weeks of my holidays for childcare but want the other three weeks to use for my holidays with my mates" On the other hand I also don't think a mother has the right to expect all five weeks and no time for himself at all.- BUT it works both ways and both parents need some "me time" and that should be respected on BOTH sides.

If there's a bit of give and take then it can work really well - however things can happen. I went away for a few days Dad picked son up from school on the Friday from school and the plan was he dropped him off to school on the Monday morning as I was flying back from the US and would be arriving Monday morning so would be home for the school run Monday afternoon - He was less than pleased when my flight was cancelled due to a snow storm and he had to keep our son for a further day- however as he travelled for work and sometimes had to swop "his weekends" it all muddled through. He'd also take our son away on holiday- something that doesn't seem to have been mentioned on this thread that AL can be used for taking a child away on holiday by either parent and isn't just something the PWC can do.

LannieDuck

duchy wrote: »

Christmas, Mother's day, Father's day, important family events all really need to be treated as exceptions - Insisting on his days/her days ca often mean cutting off your nose to spite your face. No point in insisting you can only do wednesdays in summer if you want some days over Christmas.

Yes holidays should have being discussed when talking about sharing care but I wouldn't expect a Father to say "I get five weeks a year holiday - I'll "give you" two weeks of my holidays for childcare but want the other three weeks to use for my holidays with my mates" On the other hand I also don't think a mother has the right to expect all five weeks and no time for himself at all.- BUT it works both ways and both parents need some "me time" and that should be respected on BOTH sides.

At the moment it sounds as if the OP hasn't agreed anything about holidays with his ex. She wants him to cover some of it, and a lot of the responses seem to be that he only needs to worry about covering/paying for the Weds. That may be true under their current arrangements, but I think it's short-sighted.

Because I agree with you - there needs to be flexibility. The OP is likely to discover in the future that he wants some flexibility around special days / holidays etc. The bit in bold is exactly the point i was trying to make

lulu_92

I've never had issues taking holidays in term time or in school holidays, and I'm childless. My birthday falls in the summer holidays and I have managed to get that week off work every year since 2010.

Those with children always made sure they got the days off they wanted by submitting holiday forms as early as possible.