1.am I reasonable 2.childcare costs

FBaby

Are you reasonable with your arrangement? Definitely. Are you reasonable when it comes to holiday payment? No you're not.

It's very simple. She is responsible for your DD on the days she cares for her and you are on the days she is with you. If your arrangement is that you have her every other week-ends and half the holidays, they you should either look after her on these days, or find alternative care. On this basis, yes, you should be paying for childcare for these days.

Should maintenance pay for this? No right or wrong answer. Does your ex pays for breakfast/after school club at the moment? Does she gets tax credits? If she does pay this but gets no tax credits, then I do think it would be reasonable for you to at least contribute towards it as the whole maintenance could very well be swallowed up just by these costs.

peachyprice

justme111 wrote: »

Why do you think it is right for him to cover holidays 50/50 with an ex ? She is a resident parent.
Op , your actions u listed are all reasonable and nice. Your critical attitude to your ex is not so , You may find she becomes more reasonable when you become less critical

Erm, because it's his child too?

So you think it's OK for him to use 2 days of his 5 weeks holidays to look after his daughter in the summer (2 Wednesdays), or 13 days if he covers Wednesdays for the whole 13 weeks of school holidays, while his ex has to use all her annual allowance and pay for child care for the remaining 50 days?

I don't see why taking time off during school holidays should differ whether you're separated or not. You divvy the weeks out between you equally, not split in down into individual days access.

I'd have thought most NRP's would relish the thought of spending a whole 5 days with their child, no? I guess I went about it all wrong.

Darksparkle

Childcare in my area would be around £400 for 2 weeks so your £250 per month maintenance would no where near cover it.

Makes more sense for you to take 2 weeks, her to take 2 weeks and split the childcare for the other two.

FBaby

Why do you think it is right for him to cover holidays 50/50 with an ex

Because that's the most common arrangement, every other week-ends and half of the holidays. OP refers to HIS 4 weeks, so clearly assumes he has his daughter under his care during these weeks, just doesn't think he should pay for these.

Just a thought OP, do you ask your ex to pay for the food you feed your DD during the week-ends she is with you, the activities she does with you etc... I assume not because you accept that you should pay for her when she is with you, in addition to the maintenance you pay to contribute for the days she isn't with you. I think the same principle applies with the holidays.

Daddys.girl

My only is objection is that why should I pay for the child care costs when I thought the maintenance should cover it,

GwylimT

justme111 wrote: »

Why do you think it is right for him to cover holidays 50/50 with an ex ? She is a resident parent.
Op , your actions u listed are all reasonable and nice. Your critical attitude to your ex is not so , You may find she becomes more reasonable when you become less critical

Its called being a parent, good ones do it, crap ones do not.

beckstar1975

no - childcare holiday costs are way above term time childcare costs, so would totally expect extra. our childcare bill triples in the holidays, and as others have said £250 a month would only just cover a week here.

Daddys.girl

After reading my posts it does come across that were bad parents for not taking hols to look after dd. From my ex perspective it's loss of earnings,which I can somewhat understand, she is self employed so can pick and choose her hols,my perspective I get 5 weeks a year and can not pick and choose , I'm in a team of 6 and only 1 member can be off at any one time,so as you can imagine it's tricky to get all 5 weeks off non term time.i can not submit my holiday for untill 1St April, hence why I say I will try,

quidsy

Why did you think the maintenance would cover it?


The maintenance is for food, clothes & other misc expenses relating to a childs well being & up keep.


Childcare during holidays is an extra. Pay up & stop playing tit for tat. She isn't expecting you to pay all of it.

peachyprice

Daddys.girl wrote: »

After reading my posts it does come across that were bad parents for not taking hols to look after dd. From my ex perspective it's loss of earnings,which I can somewhat understand, she is self employed so can pick and choose her hols,my perspective I get 5 weeks a year and can not pick and choose , I'm in a team of 6 and only 1 member can be off at any one time,so as you can imagine it's tricky to get all 5 weeks off non term time.i can not submit my holiday for untill 1St April, hence why I say I will try,

That's the same dilemma millions of parents the country over face every year, separated or not.

Speak to your colleagues, you'll probably find that between you those with children can work together so that you all get time off in school holidays. Those without children are usually quite happy to take advantage of cheaper/quieter time off when the children are in school.