People who comment on your age.

elsien

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

My original query was about how to deal with people who ask my age when I think it's rude to ask the question.

Old enough to be legal for whatever they've got in mind - that's all they need to know.

TBagpuss

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

I appreciate it, SavingPennies

I'm not self-obsessed, or think people are fascinated with me either.

My original query was about how to deal with people who ask my age when I think it's rude to ask the question. I wasn't drawing attention to myself for being "young-looking", "fascinating" and whatever else other posters have come up with. I hate attention

I thinkthe people putting the boot in are showing more about their own characters than yours! I think it is similar to the way people respond to someone who is unhappy about their appearance becuase they are very thin - people are reluctant to beive that they are genuine because so many want to be thinner or younger, even thogh n both cases it can be a nuisance.

I hope you've found some of the posts helpful.

I also think that if someone has no reason to need to know (i.e. ifyou are not buying alcohol or other age-related products, it's fine to simply ignore the question and move on with whatever you are doing (particuarlly where it's a one-of transaction, not a person you are likely to be speaking to regularly)

pigpen

elsien wrote: »

Old enough to be legal for whatever they've got in mind - that's all they need to know.

thats usually my response!


Or 'you don't look old enough to have a 24 y/o child' ... I'm not I had him when I was 3!

'you're not old enough to be a grandma' .. well clearly I am!

Its all just fake flattery and I guess it is a compliment.. doesn't make it a pleasant exchange though.

I think asking anyones age is incredibly rude unless you are trying to ascertain whether you are breaking the law or not!

missmoose

"I do think pregnancy hormones age women. Maybe I'm wrong. "

Not really, my mum has two children and is always mistaken for at least 5 years younger, no one believes when she says her children are 20 & 22 as she is only 40, but that's still old enough to have us both. they usually place her mid 30's.
She finds it flattering, me on the other end get really annoyed when people think I'm younger than I am and ID me for lottery, I think in a few years I will be thankful of my youthful looks like my mum is.
But then again its think 25 for lottery etc now so getting ID'd doesn't mean you look 16 it means you don't look over 25. There is a huge difference between and 20 year old and a 16 year old.
I'm not upset by it it's just annoying to have to take my ID with me everywhere just in case I want to buy lottery/DVD's/Alcohol or what ever.

Advice to the OP is to just suck it up in those situations and blank anyone that doesn't need to know for legal reasons. I have to confirm that people are over 18 in my line of work but I never straight up ask "how old are you?" I usually just say "as long as you are over 18 you'll be fine" and then confirm this when I take their ID later in the process. If they're working with the public then you should be more tactful about stuff like that and if they are really that offensive about your age then complain to the company than to the internet .


I remember in a previous job a colleague used to say "no my mum always told me not to ask a lady her age but I do have to ask are you over 18/ your date of birth" It is genuinely women that are offended by these questions after all.

megaginge

I'm 29, I get ID'd about 50% of the time when buying alcohol in a supermarket ...

Quite annoying at this point!

Chlorine7

Generally when someone says you look 12 it's that you look under 21. People say it all the time, it's even a meme/instagram joke. I think you may be being a little over-sensitive.

My friends and I say it all the time.

I look young for my age and still get ID'd in supermarkets and bars all the time. I've now got to the age where I am flattered by it rather than annoyed.

I do agree that it is rude to be asked your age especially by strangers and your 'old to enough to know its rude...' comment is sufficient.

pigpen

missmoose wrote: »

"I do think pregnancy hormones age women. Maybe I'm wrong. "

Not really, my mum has two children and is always mistaken for at least 5 years younger, no one believes when she says her children are 20 & 22 as she is only 40, but that's still old enough to have us both. they usually place her mid 30's.
She finds it flattering, me on the other end get really annoyed when people think I'm younger than I am and ID me for lottery, I think in a few years I will be thankful of my youthful looks like my mum is.

My 21 year old daughter is forever being asked about her sister.. me!! I just tell her she looks REALLY old haha.

Most people usually assume I am about 10 years younger than I am.. I think they are blind! .. That or they judge age by behaviour

Skintmama

WeAreGhosts wrote: »

I appreciate it, SavingPennies

I'm not self-obsessed, or think people are fascinated with me either.

My original query was about how to deal with people who ask my age when I think it's rude to ask the question. I wasn't drawing attention to myself for being "young-looking", "fascinating" and whatever else other posters have come up with. I hate attention

It seems that people who haven’t experienced this kind of thing find it hard to understand that it does draw attention to you in a negative way and can feel disrespectful and embarrassing. People don’t always accord the same respect to you if they don’t realise you are an adult, or take you seriously.....as demonstrated by the bank clerk.

Try not to let it get to you or sound aggressive in response as this draws more unwelcome attention. As others have said, ignore the question if irrelevant, or just silently produce your ID without engaging in any other age related conversation. The “You don’t look old enough!” remarks can just be met with a raised eyebrow. You don’t have to justify your age in most instances. Good luck

SailorSam

I use to get a lot of them in the cab saying things like ......... turn left here Son, just down here Son, do you know where this is Son, or will you wait Son.
I'd look at them and think i'm years older than them.

hazyjo

lol have read a few. Yes, a lot can look WAY younger. I used to get it a lot.


My first husband was around 6-7 years older than me. At least 3 people thought he was my dad. I was in hospital having my wisdom teeth out when I was mid-late twenties and they'd said something about my dad ringing to see if I was out yet. Thought that's a bit strange... until I realised they meant my OH.


Was around 24 and went swimming with 3 others. They asked me (in front of the others) if I was buying an adult ticket.


Bought cigs (back in the day) when I was 26 and they asked me if I was old enough and if I had any ID. I remember saying something about yeah, try by about 10 years!


Dated a 24 year old once, 15 years younger than me. He was a (mature) student. Couple of girls at a beer festival asked me what I was studying and laughed at him saying he must be a mature student (he looked MUCH older). Nobody ever guessed there was an age gap.


Used to get asked re alcohol all the time when I was younger. Never now (although they did say 'you're old enough, aren't you' in the Co-op once when I was over 30).


I went for a job interview when I was 30 - got through to the 2nd or 3rd interview and when I finally met the bloke I would mainly be working for looked at me and said 'Sorry, no, you're far too young. I'll interview you anyway, but... blah blah' I was SO embarrassed. Knowing what I'm like now, I would have just said 'd'ya know what mate, stuff your bloody job' but I was so taken aback I didn't quite know how to react so sat there, answered a few questions a bit sarkily and couldn't wait to rush out the door. (So much so that I got in the same section of the revolving door as someone else so we could barely move so we both had to shuffle round really slowly until I could escape (and cry!).)


I'm 45 now and most guess my age at 30-something.


And no, I'm not blowing my own trumpet LOL! I'm very grateful for it! I'm far from bloody perfect and I'd happily trade my fat thighs/short legs for a few wrinkles!


Jx