DM Article

mumps

But why would you say such vile things? I suppose its money but surely some things should be private. Saying the thought of him touching her made her skin crawl is awful, she could have just said I am too tired. No need to humiliate him.

onlyroz

Guest101 wrote: »

Not one of those comments said she must give sex.

Most implied if she wants to save her marriage she should make more of an effort, and that's accurate.

Why would he want to stick around?

No offence but 1416, 1916 or 2016 - humanity is still here because people have sex. Nothing wrong with expecting it in a relationship or moving on to another if not.

Why is it just her who has to make the effort? If she is exhausted but he is still fresh as a daisy perhaps they should address the imbalance in the relationship. Maybe she is resentful because she has to get up at all hours to deal with the baby and when she finally gets all four kids off to sleep she has to deal with her husband pawing at her when all she wants to do is sleep. Perhaps if he wants her to be more eager he could give her a night off from childcare, run her a bath, cook her a meal, and then she might be a bit more receptive.

But as this couple seem to have run to the Daily Mail rather than trying to discuss their problems with each other, I don't see much hope.

PuzzledDave

onlyroz wrote: »

Why is it just her who has to make the effort?

Because currently she refuses to even discuss it... Something along the lines of "I'm knackered ! Look, I am not going to promise anything but on Tuesday if you can look after the kids when you get back from work with a take away, I'll go out to my friend XXXX to relax for the evening. Then MAYBE after you have got them to sleep we could have a nice long cuddle which MIGHT lead to something more. Whatever happens though, I am going to sleep at 10pm and no later as you know the kids are going to wake me up by 11:30 at the latest".

That would be all the effort I would need to show she still cared about me at all, even if nothing sexual had happened at all. She would be showing she tried and made effort to close the gap she had forced between us.

But as this couple seem to have run to the Daily Mail rather than trying to discuss their problems with each other, I don't see much hope.

Agreed x 1000. If you can talk to a national newspaper but not your spouse about your problems - just urgh !

seven-day-weekend

mumps wrote: »

But why would you say such vile things? I suppose its money but surely some things should be private. Saying the thought of him touching her made her skin crawl is awful, she could have just said I am too tired. No need to humiliate him.

I agree, and would even go so far as to say why would he even want to sleep with her, after such a humiliating remark to a cast of thousands? Disrespectful in the extreme.

Although sex is not the be-all and end-all in a relationship, it IS important, and should this husband ever come across someone who shows that she thinks he's the bee's knees, can't you understand why he might be tempted to stray? I certainly can.

This is what I meant when I said she should make an effort. Discussing it together might help. Humiliating him in public is not the way to do this.

Pollycat

Kynthia wrote: »

I've heard it said by a few women that there's nothing sexier than a man doing housework.

I've not heard that but I have heard the saying "There's nothing sexier than a man who can cook".

Guest101

onlyroz wrote: »

Why is it just her who has to make the effort? - it's not 'just' her. But as she is currently making no effort, by virtue she must increase that to 'some' effort. obviously both parties need to, but it seems he's trying to remain intimate already. If she is exhausted but he is still fresh as a daisy perhaps they should address the imbalance in the relationship. - You've made a huge presumption there, and that is that they both have the same reserves of energy. What if she's just lazy? Maybe she is resentful because she has to get up at all hours to deal with the baby and when she finally gets all four kids off to sleep she has to deal with her husband pawing at her when all she wants to do is sleep. - And that's fine, that's where communication comes into it. Discussions. Which she refuses to have, as 'no' is not the start of a discussion but the end of the conversation (her words) Perhaps if he wants her to be more eager he could give her a night off from childcare - a 'night' off, presumably the children are in bed by 7 or 8. I suspect you mean a night off from housework?, run her a bath, cook her a meal, and then she might be a bit more receptive. - So he must do all the work to maintain the relationship of man and wife? And you don't see an inbalance there?

But as this couple seem to have run to the Daily Mail rather than trying to discuss their problems with each other, I don't see much hope.

I agree. The fact they cant discuss things pretty much spells out where this relationship will go...

mumps

Pollycat wrote: »

I've not heard that but I have heard the saying "There's nothing sexier than a man who can cook".

I can remember my husband coming home when ours were little and having a moan as there was no dinner and the house was a mess (I know that sounds sexist but he was working long shifts and was always a bit grumpy till dinner.) I always told him houseproud women were frigid and then he would get the babies ready for bed while I did dinner and then we had the night to test my theories. I could always tidy up tomorrow........

heuchera

That picture looks very staged, anyway..

Gloomendoom

onlyroz wrote: »

But as this couple seem to have run to the Daily Mail rather than trying to discuss their problems with each other, I don't see much hope.

Discussion isn't allowed. Her rules...

"But no means no. Even in marriage, it is not an opening for a discussion. It’s the end of the conversation."

Gloomendoom

Pollycat wrote: »

I've not heard that but I have heard the saying "There's nothing sexier than a man who can cook".

In my view, and I know it's shared by others, there's noting sexier than a woman who can use a chainsaw.