DM Article

onlyroz

heuchera wrote: »

Oh, please :rotfl:

Admitting that sex is (usually) a normal and important part of a healthy relationship is hardly akin to being a rape apologist.

Except on this board, perhaps!!

I was responding to comments like these:

People (men and women) have their needs. If they are not met, resentment is going to rear its ugly head at some point..

Well. IMHO she should make an effort.

The children won't be there for ever. She needs to make sure her husband will be.

Maliciously denying someone that is quite a fundamental thing.

Why would someone maliciously deny their partner sexual contact? For most people (not all) it is a need, and if someone's needs aren't met things don't bode well for the relationship.

When we got married, I definitely remember my wife and I promising to honour each other with our bodies.

Should you not feel guilty for breaking a promise?

If I were him, I would leave, and find someone who cares about him more than she does!

About the time sex starts to disappear is about the time to move on IMO and find someone who actually does find you attractive.

Maybe she is the sort of person that only wants sex to conceive. Now that she has her bambinos, maybe her husband no longer fulfills his purpose.

I think there are many women like this. Maybe not consciously, but they have no time or desire to be a wife once they are in the role of mother.

I'm quite shocked that people still think like this in 2016...

onlyroz

Gloomendoom wrote: »

If you're unhappy in your relationship because your spouse has decided that they no longer want a sexual relationship with you, how does that get fixed?

Depends on how important sex is to you, and whether the lack of interest in sex is permanent. In the case of the lady in the article, considering that she has four very young children she may well find her interest rekindling once she's able to get a decent night's sleep.

heuchera

onlyroz wrote: »

I was responding to comments like these:

I'm quite shocked that people still think like this in 2016...

You are quite shocked by what, exactly?
People have their needs, both men and women.

onlyroz

heuchera wrote: »

You are quite shocked by what, exactly?
People have their needs, both men and women.

Shocked by the notion that a woman has a duty to fulfil her man's sexual needs or he will be perfectly justified in walking out the door.

heuchera

onlyroz wrote: »

Shocked by the notion that a woman has a duty to fulfil her man's sexual needs or he will be perfectly justified in walking out the door.

I can see this subject is scratching a scab with some people.


But I think all that was meant was that if either one of a couple's needs are not met they will become unhappy and resentful. You can't really expect someone to go without sex/intimacy for months on end without risking it having some detrimental effect on the relationship.


How we got from that to men have the right to leap on their poor downtrodden wives I don't know. Some people have a funny view of relationships.

Gloomendoom

onlyroz wrote: »

Shocked by the notion that a woman has a duty to fulfil her man's sexual needs or he will be perfectly justified in walking out the door.

Why have you assumed that the notion is that the woman has such a duty?

onlyroz

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Why have you assumed that the notion is that the woman has such a duty?

Where on this thread has anybody suggested that a man has a duty to fulfil his wife's sexual needs, or she will be justified in walking out the door?

Gloomendoom

onlyroz wrote: »

Where on this thread has anybody suggested that a man has a duty to fulfil his wife's sexual needs, or she will be justified in walking out the door?

Most of the posts you quoted and found so shocking in 2016 (...) didn't specify man or woman.

Guest101

onlyroz wrote: »

For most people infidelity would be a deal breaker. If you're unhappy in your relationship then I think most people would try and fix it, or leave, before starting up a new one.

Right. I agree with you.

But some responsibility must fall on both parties to keep the relationship fresh, exciting and intimate.

It's no good avoiding sex and then complaining of infidelity.

Guest101

onlyroz wrote: »

I was responding to comments like these:




I'm quite shocked that people still think like this in 2016...

Not one of those comments said she must give sex.

Most implied if she wants to save her marriage she should make more of an effort, and that's accurate.

Why would he want to stick around?

No offence but 1416, 1916 or 2016 - humanity is still here because people have sex. Nothing wrong with expecting it in a relationship or moving on to another if not.