3.5 months 'dating'...

Anatidaephobia

KiKi wrote: »

Which is fine - but he needs to explain that to her, so that she understands. Just refusing to answer the question ("why haven't you mentioned me to your family?") and going silent isn't helpful!

It's quite an immature response tbh.

cadon

OP, the overwhelming impression I get from this thread is that you have expectations of how a 'normal' relationship should proceed and you don't think how things are going match those expectations.

That being the case, you either need to let go of those ideas and enjoy this relationship for what it is and how it progresses, or have a conversation. Only you can decide if that kind of talk will be received well at this stage, or if it's too early.

3.5 months may be a long time in your experience and/or in the experiences of your friends. That doesn't necessarily make your 'normal' the same as his. Something to think about before bringing this up.

paddyrg

Ideally he'd tell her, but also possible is the lack of conscious insight, or the lack of will to start that conversation 'I want to be sure you're really the one before I talk to anyone from my family' / 'But surely I am the one honey? Humph...' could mean he hasn't.

I'm just saying it's quite possible that he loves her to bits and just wants to reach 6 months/1 year/some other landmark before exposing his heart in front of his family (who may or may not be complicated...)

justme111

Indeed too little information is given for us to tell whether it is her not respecting his wish not to talk about the subject for whatever reason or him stringing her along

Lunar_Eclipse

If you are happy in the relationship, I would drop this completely. Stop obsessing and enjoy your life and time together.

3 1/2 months is nothing to most people, in terms of knowing whether the relationship is 'definitely forever' or 'definitely not forever': hence enjoying your time together will influence this. He will not appreciate any 'nagging'. He might never introduce you and you could happily be together for the next 70 years. It's beyond your control, so not worth your time.

There have been many theories posted on here as to why he hasn't told his family (hedging his bets, already married, already has a date etc); I honestly think the most likely explanation is that he just doesn't want to (a reflection of his family, his personality or the relationship he has with them; most likely not a reflection of you or your relationship with him.)

duchy

Some people are really close to their families -spend a lot of time with them and it'd be unthinkable that a boy or girlfriend of three months hadn't met at least some of them or at least knew about them - others have a more arms length relationship with family and live their own lives and don't feel the need to discuss their relationships.

Three months isn't very long - but if the man always wanted to spend time at the GF's home and never wanted to take her to theirs- that would raise a flag for me - Not that it wasn't an exclusive relationship (although it's possible) but that he was keeping his life in compartments - and if I saw this as a relationship that might be going somewhere I'd be wondering why.

The wedding itself ....I wouldn't expect an invitation to the day itself as I didn't know the bride and groom - but if there was an evening do I'd be wondering why he didn't want me there for that part.

Made_Without

Thank you all for making the time to reply and share your views.

We're meeting this evening to hopefully iron things out - or call it a day (I hope not but it may be for the best).

I am respectful to a person I am with having views that differ to mine but it becomes incredibly difficult if you just don't know what their view is.

I acknowledge the wedding is a bit of red herring - but as we have differing views on meeting friends and family - that I do need to at least understand a little more, whether he always keeps people separated or if it's something about me / us.

C*F

piglet74

Good luck with tonight, come back and update us

emsywoo123

Chocolate*fish wrote: »

Thank you all for making the time to reply and share your views.

We're meeting this evening to hopefully iron things out - or call it a day (I hope not but it may be for the best).

I am respectful to a person I am with having views that differ to mine but it becomes incredibly difficult if you just don't know what their view is.

I acknowledge the wedding is a bit of red herring - but as we have differing views on meeting friends and family - that I do need to at least understand a little more, whether he always keeps people separated or if it's something about me / us.

C*F

I really hope he at least has some answers/explanations. Does he know it is going to be that kind of evening (as in talking about big stuff! )

Haylescom

I hope you managed to clear up a few things, either way.