girlfriend/boyfriend behaviour

cuthbertlilly

y-n-y-n-y-n-y-n

Guest101

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

I'll see how it goes in the near future. I must admit I was a bit dumbstruck and she said you're quiet are you alright a short time after and seemed oblivious to the situation...so maybe it was a harmless comment that I'm perceiving a different way. Who knows?!

why do you say this isn't respectful or L-T relationship behaviour? lots of friends/acquantances have said this can be fairly typical in this day and age, but I'm totally confused here.

Here's a little test.


Next time you're at the pub, turn to one of the other lads and say, whoa have you see that girl in the red/blue/green top/dress/whatever


See the reaction then.

pickledonionspaceraider

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

I'll see how it goes in the near future. I must admit I was a bit dumbstruck and she said you're quiet are you alright a short time after and seemed oblivious to the situation...so maybe it was a harmless comment that I'm perceiving a different way. Who knows?!

why do you say this isn't respectful or L-T relationship behaviour? lots of friends/acquantances have said this can be fairly typical in this day and age, but I'm totally confused here.

No couple I know, would behave like this.

I cannot believe you have asked WHY this is not respectful.

The most worrying thing is, if your partner is going to behave like this in front of you - I dread to think what she is doing what you are not around.

justme111

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

No couple I know, would behave like this.

I cannot believe you have asked WHY this is not respectful.

The most worrying thing is, if your partner is going to behave like this in front of you - I dread to think what she is doing what you are not around.

I notice particularly good looking people , be it men or women. I been knows to tell to my significant" wow , look at those calves (bum , dress ). I think it is sad if people don't notice beauty or feel jealous /insecure/worried about it so as not to share it. The woman in question could have used not so classy/joking language when referring to a guy. People have different communication styles. No need to become outraged at differences

duchy

There's also the case that some people are natural "flirts" and flirt with everyone male or female .....they will have a smile for everyone, give compliments and generally make people feel good about themselves - and there is no agenda -it's just how they are........and often misunderstood by a less secure person.

Really though OP I suspect if you brought up the comment your girlfriend made now - the odds are she'd look at you blankly as it was just a bit of pub banter and instantly forgotten both by her and her friends. Unless it keeps happening I'd forget it.

cuthbertlilly

y-n-y-n-y-n-y

tara747

Keep us posted!

pickledonionspaceraider

justme111 wrote: »

I notice particularly good looking people , be it men or women. I been knows to tell to my significant" wow , look at those calves (bum , dress ). I think it is sad if people don't notice beauty or feel jealous /insecure/worried about it so as not to share it. The woman in question could have used not so classy/joking language when referring to a guy. People have different communication styles. No need to become outraged at differences

Yes definitely it is natural to notice -and chat about it etc. Me and my OH often have similar conversations as you describe and a giggle

The thing that would concern me is that the OP says she had flirted with this guy, as in made direct contact - whilst the OP was sat there. If this is the case, then she does not intend to stop at looking. Looking and flirting are two very different things

Looking is natural, it cannot be helped
Flirting tells of an intention.

Looking is fine, but I do not believe that it is OK for people to flirt with members of the opposite sex whilst in a relationship whether their partner is sat there or not.

In this case, the partner was sat there, clearly very happy - and so unhappy after the event that he started a thread to discuss it with strangers

I would be devastated if I contributed towards my partner feel like that.

justme111

I agree that something is concerning. I disagree with you having concluded in quite strong terms the concerning thing is inappropriate female's behaviour. Nothing differs more than people's interpretations of flirting and as OP is biased we can hardly rely on his perception of it.
Talking to someone, specially bartender , on an evening in a pub hardly fits description of inappropriate contact.

pickledonionspaceraider

His perception of it is all we have though, so if we can't rely on that, what are we going to do - make up our own version of events, to discuss?