girlfriend/boyfriend behaviour

cuthbertlilly

....yes yes no

Stevie_Palimo

It would not bother me but then I am confident enough with myself and the fact that my OH is happy with me to, I would see this as complementing towards others rather than anything else.

Maybe if you lack confidence then your partner needs to consider this before making such comments, I have done it and so as my OH where we both had paid a complement to a friend or someone else whilst out but at the end of the day are together and have no issue in speaking out.

burlington6

What usually happens is if you don't let it bother you, you come off the winner.

Those who cry about it come across as needy and insecure.

Alikay

If you mean your partner is telling their mates how much they fancy another person who's present while you're there, then I'd consider it rude, possibly disrespectful depending on what was said, and to whom. How would I react? I probably wouldn't say or do anything, but it would likely affect how I felt about them given their lack of discretion and poor manners. A new boyfriend might find himself not getting any further dates, and long term one may find me a bit frosty for a day or two!

This is in relation to commenting on real women also present at the function such as mutual friends, barmaids etc, btw : My DH and our male friends frequently debate the wisdom of Brad Pitt swapping the lovely Jennifer Aniston for the equally beautiful, but very different Angelina

Angry_Bear

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

Have any MSErs had a situation when you’re at the pub with your gf/bf (and their mixed male/female friendship group – group of 6) and they have commented to their friend whilst you’re sat next to your OH “xyz person is handsome, xyz is soo handsome…I got lost there”

My take would be that if they're happy saying it in front of you then they don't mean anything weird by it. However, if you think they're doing it deliberately to provoke a reaction out of you then either a) you're paranoid and need some help, or b) they're playing head games and need some help.

and you’ve see them chatting and smiling to a bar person/waiter (xyz person in question)?

I would be more concerned if my OH didn't chat and smile to random people/bar staff. I'd think he'd become rude or something was bothering him.

Guest101

I would think it's quite rude, but I wouldn't really let it bother me.

Hermia

I think it would depend on who the object of lust is and how they phrase it. If it was the waitress or someone across the room and they are clearly not about to make a move on the person, I would regard it to be not much different than lusting over a celeb. If it was a member of the friendship group I would be a bit more concerned because that seems a bit more like crossing a line.

I think it also depends on how it is phrased. I have heard people say things like this and sometimes it is obviously just a bit of fun and other times it does sound like a dig at their OH.

cuthbertlilly

... yyy yyggggkkk

Guest101

I'd just follow up by saying I wouldn't rush into kids or marriage...

Alikay

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

object of lust = bar person/waiter. OH was buying a round of drinks for group, could see OH smiling and chatting in a way you'd do to someone you're infatuated with. OH always mentions this bar person/waiter every time we're at that pub.

It's a bit crass to bang on about it every time you go to the pub. Don't know the dynamics of your relationship or how you'd deal with it, but I'd be peed off.

AnnieO1234

I think in some ways a lot would depend on how long I had been with OH. If it was a relatively new relationship then I'd be a little more than p'd.

Are you sure that OH isn't trying to set someone up in the friendship group with the waitress? Was there ever something that happened between OH and waitress?

The best thing is to ask OH what is going on, no matter what he says, you must tell him that you're not comfortable with it and ask him what he proposes to do. The best thing might just be to find another pub. xxx