girlfriend/boyfriend behaviour

duchy

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

object of lust = bar person/waiter. OH was buying a round of drinks for group, could see OH smiling and chatting in a way you'd do to someone you're infatuated with. OH always mentions this bar person/waiter every time we're at that pub.

This makes you sound very insecure
I smile and chat to bar staff - doesn't mean I'm going to dump my OH and run away with them it just means I'm a friendly person and know bar staff are people too not serfs placed in pubs just to serve.

OH can mean anything from married for fifty years to a very new relationship and anything inbetween. What actually is your relationship ?

I would say any man who cops a strop because I'm friendly to other people tends to get dumped pretty quickly as they clearly have trust issues and I can't be bothered with that kind of drama. I'm not a cheat and I wouldn't appreciate the implication that I would even consider it.

cuthbertlilly

...yyyggglkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Hermia

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

object of lust = bar person/waiter. OH was buying a round of drinks for group, could see OH smiling and chatting in a way you'd do to someone you're infatuated with. OH always mentions this bar person/waiter every time we're at that pub.

I would find that a bit crass/worrying and would want to know if OH was just being daft or had a real crush. If I did have a crush on a waiter and wasn't going to act on it I certainly wouldn't keep mentioning it in front of a partner.

duchy

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

8-9 mths so far.
no the bar person/waiter is a younger person.
i'm a bloke lol, worried about coming across as needy/insecure.

Well yes you are a bit

On the other hand some women get a kick out of making a BF jealous - others are just friendly to everyone and others yet would be very offended at how you're thinking....... WE don't know your GF so we have no idea which she's likely to be.

cuthbertlilly

...yyyyyyyyyjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhhhhhh

fairy_lights

If they were a generally flirty chatty person it wouldn't bother me so much, but if they only acted that way around one particular person it would trouble me.

Hermia

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

the comments are said to OH's friends in the group and not directed to me per se. I wouldn't consider doing similar myself but interested to hear both sides of the story.

How are the friends reacting? I know most of my friends would pick up on a situation like that and wonder if the OH has heard and whether they mind.

burlington6

cuthbertlilly wrote: »

8-9 mths so far.
no the bar person/waiter is a younger person.
i'm a bloke lol, worried about coming across as needy/insecure.

The less you seem to care, the more attractive you'll become in her eyes.

The number one reason men get dumped is because they act needy. If you do it, she'll realise she's with the wrong guy and find someone more confident.

Sounds harsh, but I'm only trying to help

Alikay

burlington6 wrote: »

The less you seem to care, the more attractive you'll become in her eyes.

Perhaps the OP is more bothered about his girlfriend embarrassing herself (and him) by going on about how handsome the waiter is, and simpering over him. Not classy or amusing at any age, but rather pathetic if she's a mature lady acting like that around a much younger guy whilst her partner's present.

cuthbertlilly

yyyyyyyyykgggggggg