girlfriend/boyfriend behaviour

System

Have any MSErs had a situation when you’re at the pub with your gf/bf (and their mixed male/female friendship group – group of 6) and they have commented to their friend whilst you’re sat next to your OH “xyz person is handsome, xyz is soo handsome…I got lost there” and you’ve see them chatting and smiling to a bar person/waiter (xyz person in question)?

I'd consider it rude and disrespectful and i'd tell him as well.

As for hubby. I usually see the type of woman who is his ideal before he does. A knowing smile creeps on my face and after he has noticed her he looks at me and the smile from me is just the reassurance he needs to know that i know he's seen her. Not a word do i say but theres fire in my eyes and it takes hours to extinguish.

getmore4less

Cultivating bar staff is essential to getting prompt service when the place is busy.

Why are the girls getting the drinks have them pay their rounds but gentlemen still go and get them.

in the big boys world you have to get used to there being people hotter than you

Anatidaephobia

The comment could've been a meaningless joke, or it could've been extremely inappropriate, or somewhere in between. Literally not enough information for us to determine which it was without knowing the people involved, seeing the scene, hearing the tone, etc. Also difficult to know if OP's interpretation of events is correct or not.

cuthbertlilly

yes-no-yes-no

duchy

So if a man came back from the bar and said "The barmaid is hot" to the group at the table and one of his male friends agreed and then the conversation moved on - Would you think that was equally bad OP ? Would you assume this bloke intended to dump his girlfriend and run off with the barmaid ?

This sounds like a one off comment (possibly after several drinks) made to her friends. Not ideal but unless she makes a habit of it then probably more about you feeling insecure than her wanting to run off with the eye candy behind the bar.

When you work in a bar -it happens all the time . A bit of chat from a customer - a few smiles and then you go serve the next customer -it's just part of the job. It is meaningless in most cases-on both sides.

cuthbertlilly

y-n-y-n-y-n-y-n

tara747

I agree that your gf is being a bit tactless if she ALWAYS comments on this guy's looks.


BUT I don't see what's weird about a woman in her early 30s finding a man in his early 20s attractive. For heaven's sake! If it were the other way around would you find it strange?? If not, why not?

cuthbertlilly

hhhhhhhhhhelllo

justme111

As someone commented earlier in the thread - not enough information to pass the judgement. So I am afraid whatever we say here will be of little help in getting perspective. Besides "chatting as if one was enfatuated" is so depending on observer's perception it is meaningless. The only possible conclusion is that your relationship is not particularly harmonious but we can not tell you what are the reasons for it being what it is - may be you insecure , may be her crass , ma be her not liking you much or may be just different styles of communication

pickledonionspaceraider

There is a word for 'chatting as if one was infatuated' - flirting.

OP your gut tells you that this is not right, listen to your gut. You are sat next to your woman and she is drooling over another man. This is hardly respectful or long term relationship behaviour