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Best friend's new friend

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Comments

  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    TBagpuss wrote: »
    I'd definitely recommend trying to talk to her in person rather than by text / e-mail etc.

    I'd also recommend that when you do, you focus on how you feel, rather than what she has done
    (e.g. "I'd really like for you and I to spend time together but I feel as if I am always the one proposing arrangements" rather than "you always expect me to make the effort to organise stuff" or "you never invite me" )

    Have you ever specifically explained to her about the importance to you of spending time with you mum? Is it possible that she didn't understand your motivation and felt that it was about her, not about you and your mum?

    Have you considered inviting her and the new friend to do something together? Maybe suggest that the 3 of you go to the cinema together? That way, it sends a message that you are open to doing *some* stuff in a small group rather than one-on-one, seeing a film you actually spend a lot of the time not having to talk to each other, so it's probably a relatively easy thing to do with someone you don't have a lot in common with, plus if her feelings were hurt by you not going to cinema with her, it may help build bridges.

    If you show her that you are willing to meet her half way it may help smooth things over.

    Alternatively, if you don't want to reach out, then that's OK: we do grow apart from friends and it may be that this one has run its course.

    Either way, good luck.

    Thank you

    I guess I don't want it to sound like I am jealous but it is this new friendship that is causing us problems and I feel we have drifted apart. I definitely will need to explain why I feel that way as she wasn't getting it via message.

    I will explain about my Mum, but she knows she has been ill and all that so thought she would be more sympathetic.

    As for her and her friend, I think I would have given her more of a chance but with her blocking me and trying to cause trouble. I really feel like I don't want to now. I actually did say that before being blocked to my friend that I would do a meal, but not the whole day.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • pol-zeath
    pol-zeath Posts: 110 Forumite
    catmiaow wrote: »
    No. A more relaxed friendship is unlikely she has major issues I have been told and is a major attention seeker. Of course she is stirring between us as well, so she isn't Snow White.


    Then you need to change your tactics as the current one's aren't working. Perhaps not be so bothered, play it cooler. Text or message your friend an "in joke" or some witty observations lay off the heavy stuff and making of plans. If your friendship is that good it will last if not cut your losses.

    Was that no to not being late 20's early 30's it would be helpful to know roughly what age you are?
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    pol-zeath wrote: »
    Then you need to change your tactics as the current one's aren't working. Perhaps not be so bothered, play it cooler. Text or message your friend an "in joke" or some witty observations lay off the heavy stuff and making of plans. If your friendship is that good it will last if not cut your losses.

    Was that no to not being late 20's early 30's it would be helpful to know roughly what age you are?

    I don't think my age is relevant. I have sort of left them to it for a few months, I went on holiday for two weeks then I was ill. She is good at messaging, but not arranging to do anything.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • prosaver
    prosaver Posts: 7,026 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    catmiaow wrote: »
    Thank you xx
    it depends how old you are..
    “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
    ― George Bernard Shaw
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    prosaver wrote: »
    it depends how old you are..

    Thank you depends how old you are ha ha :D
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • pol-zeath
    pol-zeath Posts: 110 Forumite
    Do either of you have partners? Personally I can't understand this best friend thing. I had a few best friends at school but in adult years tend to change good friends every few years or so as my life changes so do my friends. May be thats odd too.

    Your age would give better perspective of your siuation thats why I asked. If you are asking for advice you need to give more detail of your situation not just she said, I said.
  • prosaver
    prosaver Posts: 7,026 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    catmiaow wrote: »
    Thank you depends how old you are ha ha :D
    what :)?
    anigif_optimized-17179-1429472131-13.gif
    “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
    ― George Bernard Shaw
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    prosaver wrote: »
    what :)?
    anigif_optimized-17179-1429472131-13.gif

    That's what I was thinking about your post!
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    pol-zeath wrote: »
    Do either of you have partners? Personally I can't understand this best friend thing. I had a few best friends at school but in adult years tend to change good friends every few years or so as my life changes so do my friends. May be thats odd too.

    Your age would give better perspective of your siuation thats why I asked. If you are asking for advice you need to give more detail of your situation not just she said, I said.

    Yes we both have other halfs, I like long friendships prefer not to change.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • pol-zeath
    pol-zeath Posts: 110 Forumite
    So have you been friends a long time?
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