Best friend's new friend

missbiggles1

catmiaow wrote: »

Yeah rude and unhelpful. Thanks!

That wasn't a very polite response - I think your age is really relevant to your question.

tomtontom

Nah not buying it. No excuse for rudeness and put-downs at ALL. And this may be a 'trivial' issue for some, but it's clearly upsetting the OP, so quit being rude.

Then she needs to get some perspective.

Honestly OP, read back your post and think about how teenage it sounds - Facebook, group messaging, and generally just a juvenile squabble. Have you got any older friends that might give you a bit more balance, more grounding?

catmiaow

LilElvis wrote: »

If you were such close friends why didn't you just talk to her and ask her why she didn't arrange meet ups, rather than just blanking her and going with someone else? You told her she was "out of order" for going to the cinema with another friend, but that's exactly what you did to her. You've turned down going out with her when she has tried to arrange things, even if one was through illness, and told her quite clearly that you don't like her other friend and don't want to socialise with her. Perhaps she invited you both so you could get to know each other better, but you are making her choose one or the other. If I were your friend I would be getting the vibe that you didn't want my friendship anymore based on your actions and what you have said.

I haven't blanked her, How have I blanked her? I have met up with her as normal(because I have suggested it) , just no cinema trips. It is hardly the same, she is doing stuff with her friend that we were going to do and saying we should do stuff then doing it with her. Well like I said the first time I was ill, so I might have gone if not as it was just a meal but I am certainly not going to spend the day with her and not something that we had planned to do just us.

fierystormcloud

tomtontom wrote: »

Then she needs to get some perspective.

Honestly OP, read back your post and think about how teenage it sounds - Facebook, group messaging, and generally just a juvenile squabble. Have you got any older friends that might give you a bit more balance, more grounding?

Well yes you do have a point. However, when people are upset about something, a little kindness and a listening ear is good, and maybe some constructive criticism ... but there is a difference between THAT, and someone saying 'GROW UP!' (Or 'get a grip' - another favourite of a few posters on here!) It's just flippin' rude!

And to be fair, we ALL have moments when we act a little like a 'teenager,' and get worked up over silly things and things that could be classed as trivial. Anyone who says they don't is lying... OR in denial!

catmiaow

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Nah not buying it. No excuse for rudeness and put-downs at ALL. And this may be a 'trivial' issue for some, but it's clearly upsetting the OP, so quit being rude.

And God forbid someone would want to spend time with their MOTHER. Good grief!

Sounds like the OP's friend was jealous and threatened by her friend's relationship with her mother and wandered off and sought a new friendship.

If someone did that to me, ditched me for not spending enough time with them, it would be no loss. I can do without that kind of 'friend.' And I certainly don't need people around me who resent me spending time with my FAMILY!

Exactly no need for rudeness whatsoever, but unfortunately you do get some on here like that.

I know major issues. My mother was seriously ill, prior to that we didn't spend much time together. Since my grandmother died we decided we would make sure we saw it each other at least once a week. I was still inviting my friend to my house for dinner etc and certainly never push her aside like she has with me! This is a big deal because I have invested a lot of time in the friendship!

Maybe some people that tell others to grow up, should look a little closer to home!

catmiaow

missbiggles1 wrote: »

That wasn't a very polite response - I think your age is really relevant to your question.

A hell of a lot more polite than your response! Age is relevant!

fierystormcloud

catmiaow wrote: »

Exactly no need for rudeness whatsoever, but unfortunately you do get some on here like that.

I know major issues. My mother was seriously ill, prior to that we didn't spend much time together. Since my grandmother died we decided we would make sure we saw it each other at least once a week. I was still inviting my friend to my house for dinner etc and certainly never push her aside like she has with me! This is a big deal because I have invested a lot of time in the friendship!

Maybe some people that tell others to grow up, should look a little closer to home!

Pay no attention. There is always SOMEONE on here who acts like this, no matter WHAT your complaint is! And all the best.

pebbles88

People change over time, it might be that she feels she doesn't have as much in common with you anymore? It hurts, but it's just sometimes how it goes.

catmiaow

pebbles88 wrote: »

People change over time, it might be that she feels she doesn't have as much in common with you anymore? It hurts, but it's just sometimes how it goes.

True, but she is still doing the same things with her new friend that we both like!

FBaby

I wasn't spending more time with my Mum than her, I just went to the cinema with my Mum and not her. This was because I always invited her and got fed up asking.

So what if it was always you inviting her? Did you start inviting your mum to prove a point? Well it did, she decided to expand her friendships and now you are losing hers. Instead, you could have continued to invite her, whilst maybe she would have continued to do something that maybe you have also taken for granted and you would still be close friends.