Best friend's new friend

Guest101

catmiaow wrote: »

Yeah rude and unhelpful. Thanks!

Sorry you feel that way.


Could you identify the age group you fall into, so as to better explain how life works out sometimes?

heuchera

It is amazing how something as simple or trivial as not going to the cinema with someone can spark off this convoluted chain of events. I don't think FaceBook helps, in fact it might be fanning the flames.

I'm guessing you're all quite young (?)
(sorry, cross posted with Guest101)

fierystormcloud

Judi wrote: »

Too many mind games in play here.... Just move on!

Guest101 wrote: »

Assuming you are over 21 - time to grow up, these things don't matter

pigpen wrote: »

time to move on, she already has!!

It is possible to maintain more than one friendship.. and for the sake of a couple of hours be civil to a friend of a friend.. even I can manage that and I'm a total b!tch of the highest order.

I wouldn't feel anything in your position.. I'd have moved on already.. you lived for many years without this person in your life you will survive when she is gone from it.

I agree that there is no need for rude comments like 'grow up!' Why must people do that? If something is upsetting or bothering someone, then lend a kind ear and be nice, or give constructive criticism, but saying 'grow up' is not on.

I agree with pigpen; move on and give this friend a wide berth AND the other girl too. Stuff her! Stuff both of them!!! If she can't give you the respect and time you deserve, stop chasing her.

I hope you find better friends soon catmiaow, AND I hope you find peace and happiness. All the best...

Guest101

Because if the OP is unable to deal with such a minor issue, then it doesn't bode well when a 'real' ie serious problem presents itself.

Grow up - as in there us more important in life than these fickle friendships.

FBaby

She felt rejected when you were spending more time with your mum than her. She decided it was time to expand her horizon so not to be totally dependent on your friendship. She made a new friend, would have been happy to be friends with both of you, but without giving it a chance to get to know her other friend, you decided you didn't like her.

Your friend isn't impressed with that attitude, and other friend guessed your feelings for her, so made it clear she didn't want anything to do with you either. Your friend has to make a choice, and based on recent above, thinks her friendship with new friend is less risky and more rewarding.

Time to move on indeed.

catmiaow

FBaby wrote: »

She felt rejected when you were spending more time with your mum than her. She decided it was time to expand her horizon so not to be totally dependent on your friendship. She made a new friend, would have been happy to be friends with both of you, but without giving it a chance to get to know her other friend, you decided you didn't like her.

Your friend isn't impressed with that attitude, and other friend guessed your feelings for her, so made it clear she didn't want anything to do with you either. Your friend has to make a choice, and based on recent above, thinks her friendship with new friend is less risky and more rewarding.

Time to move on indeed.

I wasn't spending more time with my Mum than her, I just went to the cinema with my Mum and not her. This was because I always invited her and got fed up asking.

catmiaow

fierystormcloud wrote: »

I agree that there is no need for rude comments like 'grow up!' Why must people do that? If something is upsetting or bothering someone, then lend a kind ear and be nice, or give constructive criticism, but saying 'grow up' is not on.

I agree with pigpen; move on and give this friend a wide berth AND the other girl too. Stuff her! Stuff both of them!!! If she can't give you the respect and time you deserve, stop chasing her.

I hope you find better friends soon catmiaow, AND I hope you find peace and happiness. All the best...

Thank you xx

Hermia

The fact that she wants you to spend time with the new friend is surely a good sign? It sounds like she would like you to get on together. If she was trying to keep you apart it would be worrying as it would suggest she was moving on and leaving you behind.

LilElvis

catmiaow wrote: »

I wasn't spending more time with my Mum than her, I just went to the cinema with my Mum and not her. This was because I always invited her and got fed up asking.

If you were such close friends why didn't you just talk to her and ask her why she didn't arrange meet ups, rather than just blanking her and going with someone else? You told her she was "out of order" for going to the cinema with another friend, but that's exactly what you did to her. You've turned down going out with her when she has tried to arrange things, even if one was through illness, and told her quite clearly that you don't like her other friend and don't want to socialise with her. Perhaps she invited you both so you could get to know each other better, but you are making her choose one or the other. If I were your friend I would be getting the vibe that you didn't want my friendship anymore based on your actions and what you have said.

fierystormcloud

Guest101 wrote: »

Because if the OP is unable to deal with such a minor issue, then it doesn't bode well when a 'real' ie serious problem presents itself.

Grow up - as in there us more important in life than these fickle friendships.

Nah not buying it. No excuse for rudeness and put-downs at ALL. And this may be a 'trivial' issue for some, but it's clearly upsetting the OP, so quit being rude.

And God forbid someone would want to spend time with their MOTHER. Good grief!

Sounds like the OP's friend was jealous and threatened by her friend's relationship with her mother and wandered off and sought a new friendship.

If someone did that to me, ditched me for not spending enough time with them, it would be no loss. I can do without that kind of 'friend.' And I certainly don't need people around me who resent me spending time with my FAMILY!