I am in a mess financially

marmitechops

I have got myself into a mess with the household finances and credit cards plus I have 3 secret cards that are to their limit.
I don't know what to do. OH is trying to pay the mortgage off using the money in the bank. He doesn't know about my cards.
I have also just found out that a medical procedure that I need to have done can only be done privately. The cost is £42000
I am sat here crying my eyes out because I don't know where to start.

Stevie_Palimo

Why will it cost you £42.000 and if you have loads of debt then you need to come clean and sort it out and also look at what is causing you to be in debt so much Ie:- silly expenditure and so on.

marmitechops

It will cost £42000 because it has to be done privately. It is to ease my health condition not for any vanity reasons.
My debt is because of silly spending when I am feeling low. I know it has to stop but I seem incapable of dealing with it

Stevie_Palimo

If it is for a health reasons then having it done on the NHS will be on offer in most cases and I cannot see what will be £42.000 in any event, As for the debts you need to stop spending and also need to come clean after you admit you have a problem then the road to recovery can begin.

marmitechops

I spoke to the consultant at the hospital yesterday and he confirmed NHS won't be doing this procedure in the near future and it will have to be done privately. It is better to be done sooner rather than later. If it is left too long then I will be too ill to have done at all.

HappyMJ

marmitechops wrote: »

I spoke to the consultant at the hospital yesterday and he confirmed NHS won't be doing this procedure in the near future and it will have to be done privately. It is better to be done sooner rather than later. If it is left too long then I will be too ill to have done at all.

Are you paying the £42,000 to avoid a waiting list?

marmitechops

No. It is what the procedure costs

CalumHeath

marmitechops wrote: »

I know it has to stop but I seem incapable of dealing with it

You've got to get over that mindset straight away else you're just going to stay in this situation.

Things to do right now
- Accept you need to take positive steps to fix this - it can be fixed
- Contact StepChange or another debt charity.

Optional things to do
- Tell your husband

There are more actions to be taken but I think you need to tick these boxes first.

A common first step is to post a statement of affairs (SOA) and people will assess your incomings and outgoings in an attempt to help; I suspect that your situation may be beyond that at this stage. By all means try if you feel up to it and I guarantee people will attempt to help.

elsien

How much do you actually owe at the moment?

marmitechops

I think it is in the region of £25000 but not exactly sure

January2015

If the medical procedure is required for something that is threatening your health it will be available on NHS otherwise it would be considered a 'vanity' procedure. Go talk to your GP/Consultant. No-one in this country should have to pay for medical procedures required for their health.

With regard to your debts, it's better to come clean to your partner but I appreciate that's not always easy. At least put together a statement of affairs and post it on here for people to advise and comment. If you feel you cannot tell your partner make the SOA based on your income and expenditure alone.