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I am in a mess financially

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I have got myself into a mess with the household finances and credit cards plus I have 3 secret cards that are to their limit.
I don't know what to do. OH is trying to pay the mortgage off using the money in the bank. He doesn't know about my cards.
I have also just found out that a medical procedure that I need to have done can only be done privately. The cost is £42000
I am sat here crying my eyes out because I don't know where to start.
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Comments

  • Why will it cost you £42.000 and if you have loads of debt then you need to come clean and sort it out and also look at what is causing you to be in debt so much Ie:- silly expenditure and so on.
  • It will cost £42000 because it has to be done privately. It is to ease my health condition not for any vanity reasons.
    My debt is because of silly spending when I am feeling low. I know it has to stop but I seem incapable of dealing with it
  • If it is for a health reasons then having it done on the NHS will be on offer in most cases and I cannot see what will be £42.000 in any event, As for the debts you need to stop spending and also need to come clean after you admit you have a problem then the road to recovery can begin.
  • I spoke to the consultant at the hospital yesterday and he confirmed NHS won't be doing this procedure in the near future and it will have to be done privately. It is better to be done sooner rather than later. If it is left too long then I will be too ill to have done at all.
  • HappyMJ
    HappyMJ Posts: 21,115 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I spoke to the consultant at the hospital yesterday and he confirmed NHS won't be doing this procedure in the near future and it will have to be done privately. It is better to be done sooner rather than later. If it is left too long then I will be too ill to have done at all.

    Are you paying the £42,000 to avoid a waiting list?
    :footie:
    :p Regular savers earn 6% interest (HSBC, First Direct, M&S) :p Loans cost 2.9% per year (Nationwide) = FREE money. :p
  • marmitechops
    marmitechops Posts: 31 Forumite
    edited 22 January 2016 at 10:12AM
    No. It is what the procedure costs
  • I know it has to stop but I seem incapable of dealing with it

    You've got to get over that mindset straight away else you're just going to stay in this situation.

    Things to do right now
    - Accept you need to take positive steps to fix this - it can be fixed
    - Contact StepChange or another debt charity.

    Optional things to do
    - Tell your husband

    There are more actions to be taken but I think you need to tick these boxes first.

    A common first step is to post a statement of affairs (SOA) and people will assess your incomings and outgoings in an attempt to help; I suspect that your situation may be beyond that at this stage. By all means try if you feel up to it and I guarantee people will attempt to help.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,972 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    How much do you actually owe at the moment?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • I think it is in the region of £25000 but not exactly sure
  • January2015
    January2015 Posts: 2,369 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If the medical procedure is required for something that is threatening your health it will be available on NHS otherwise it would be considered a 'vanity' procedure. Go talk to your GP/Consultant. No-one in this country should have to pay for medical procedures required for their health.

    With regard to your debts, it's better to come clean to your partner but I appreciate that's not always easy. At least put together a statement of affairs and post it on here for people to advise and comment. If you feel you cannot tell your partner make the SOA based on your income and expenditure alone.
    DFW Nerd No. 1484 LBM 07/01/15 Debt was £95k :eek: Now debt free and happy :j
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