Living with a hopeless spender.

spanishgal_2

Oh you poor thing shal.Im sending hugs to you.Quite often in relationships you have one person who is a better money manager.My OH isnt brilliant with money and sometimes its stressful being the sensible one all the time.I know how you feel.

Nenen

Maybe he would benefit from looking at Martin's new 'demotivator' tool so that he could clearly see how much all his 'little' luxuries and toys add up to over time. It also shows how long it takes you to earn the money to pay for a year's 'goodies' e.g. if you buy a cappucino every day how much that costs per year and how many days/weeks it takes you to earn that money (you input your yearly salary first). It even shows how many thousands of pounds you'd spend on cappucinos (or whatever) over a lifetime! I think it's brilliant!

supersavershal

Ive showed him the demotivator, he wont cut back on cigarettes as he says he really enjoys smoking (a bone of contention between us).He said he will cut back on takeaways and we agreed we would buy those takeaway bags of indian, chinese goodies that asda do.That would save us about a tenner a time.The thing is we dont have a lot of debt compared to our income.We do have spare money and I like it that way.Oh thinks any spare money is there to be spent, he is always saying "you cant take it with you"..I love the feeling it gives you when you have saved up for the things you want, they mean more than handing the plastic over.We do have a cc each but I dont like using them unless its really necessary.

supersavershal

Do you know what else he does which I hate, he pays with the cc when he has cash in the current account and ends up paying interest.He is so bad when it comes to money.But then he has always been that way, his carefree boyish attitude to life was endearing when we were teenagers but its annoying now.I remember the days when I was a student and we would get the weeks shopping with a tenner and add it up with a calculator to see if we had enough spare to buy a crunchie.Life was so much easier then.I would also like to teach my children how to manage money.My eldest son is 8 now so its an ideal time, he has a savings account and I encourage him to put money in regulary.

LouiseJ

Hi SuperSS

Have you tried playing the old guilt trip on him about saving for your children's futures to give them a good start in life. I dont know if you have any savings or funds set aside for them but if they would like to go to UNI and you dont want them in a load of extra debt then maybe its time to start.

kevster1009

spud30 wrote: »

Yep, me too.

He came back with a bloomin birthday cake, and it wasnt even anyone's birthday :rolleyes:

You must be my secret other wife...haha!

supersavershal

Hey everyone, not a bad day today.Amazingly OH didnt spend anything.Admittedly I was in bed following night shift and he was housebound with the kids.I bought a newspaper for £0.80 (I only buy the saturday one) so I could read it before I went bed this morn.He did ask could we visit his mate tomorrow who is selling childrens toys, with a view to starting christmas shopping but im worried in case he gets tempted to buy toys for himself.So I need to weigh it up buying discounted toys for xmas v putting temptation in OH way?? what do I do.

seven-day-weekend

MY husband is really very good and quite understood when i said really he could only have ONE large motorbike instead of two!

I sympathise with you, he sounds a great guy, but I too would find his spending habits hard to take.

Hope it all works out.

Tootie_Fruity

supersavershal wrote: »

I have just said i am going to do this and he said it will embarrass him.But im going to do it anyway as maybe his embarrassment will make him think twice about asking again.Im taking the money myself and I am going to appeal to him as a father and ask how he would feel if his children went without to pay loans back.I have asked this person before not to lend him money so il have to get tough this time.

I know I'll get boo'd off stage as usual for saying this, but are you sure you want to stay with someone like this for the rest of your life ?

You obviously take your responsibilities seriously and have learnt well from your mistakes. But the OH seems stuck in a time warp. It's all well and good to spend a little to make up for things you didn't have as a child - but is he really going to do this for the rest of his life ? Does he intend growing up ?

If he continues this way how are you going to make adequate provision for when you get older ? Do you want to be able to spend time together when your children don't need you around ? Or are you happy looking forward to a life of worrying about debt - which is where he will lead you ?

This may be unpopular, but reading this forum makes me believe that a lot of people get themselves into a mess because they still act like children.

Tell him it's time to decide TOGETHER what you both want your future to be like. If you can't agree then do you really need someone like that around ?

racer256

Hi my OH is exactly the same he spends his money rather than saving it. No savings account at all (I have 3 different funds) I get shocked by how much he spends and has a credit card which his mother pays off for him! Now I think his debts are his & none of my business because we aren't (thankfully) married and just live together I can separate my finances from his. Just as lng as we don't overspend on our joint account thats ok (and if he does he'll hear it from me!)