Living with a hopeless spender.

supersavershal

Wev just had "another" talk.Ive told him this has got to stop or he will have to leave and I mean it.I love him but its not fair on the kids to put up with this.I could probably manage on just my salary and at least I would be able to manage the money without any nasty surprises.We are going shopping now, with list made from meal planning and I intend to stick to my list.It has made me so mad as our younger son is being christened in October and we need to pay for it, I have paid for the room up to now.I am determined to do it all with cash and no cards.The ninety pound would have paid for either cake or towards the buffet.

supersavershal

rayday2 wrote: »

If you know his friend that well ask him not to lend him money again!

I have just said i am going to do this and he said it will embarrass him.But im going to do it anyway as maybe his embarrassment will make him think twice about asking again.Im taking the money myself and I am going to appeal to him as a father and ask how he would feel if his children went without to pay loans back.I have asked this person before not to lend him money so il have to get tough this time.

supersavershal

Today has been an up and down day.It started well with OH reluctantly allowing me to list some of his "toys" on e-bay.Then it went downhill when I went to pick mum up from work, I came back and he had ordered me a laptop as a sorry present for all this going on.I have wanted a new laptop for ages but have been trying to save for it.I couldnt shout as he thought he was doing me a good turn and when the new laptop comes im changing my broadband to sky so will save £18.00 a month.

katskorner

Shal,

First of all, you are not turning into a bad mother so quit thinking that. I know the feeling when you take it out on the kids and regret it later. We all do it. We are all human honey so go a bit easier on yourself.

As for the laptop - if that were me then I would be ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS with him doing that. He may have been trying to make it up to you but he has proved he is missing the point bigtime. You clearly can't afford to spend money on a laptop right now so what on earth is he playing at? You were mad about £90 - what he has spent on your laptop has to be more than that - especially if you end up paying interest on it because you can't afford it. How much of a good thing will it be then?

Sorry to be hard like that but he wants a mega kick up the wotsit here.

EDIT: Oh yes, and that laptop money would sort out paying for a christening too..... food for thought... maybe enough to cancel the order?

MRSMCAWBER

Hi there

Im affraid im with KatsKorner,,,

I would have had a major wobble fit:mad: ... i would have taken that as him having paid no attention at all to what you said.....

As "nice" as the thought was...im affraid i would have refused it and made it go back....my other thought would be that having accepted the laptop, if he now turns up with a new DVD or whatever its gonna be harder for you to say anything as you have a nice new laptop...that cost so much more...

sorry if i sound mean..i dont mean to....:o

(Land_of)_Maz

Hard truth's coming from the others but they do have a point. You would concede any upper hand you had if you accept this "gift".... you'd make more of a point if you save like mad, and get the laptop at a later date.

Afterall, you evidently have got... or have access to a PC, so do you need another one, or just want?

I think yer man has done a sneaky number on you, allbeit lovingly!

Send it back/cancel the order and maintain your upper hand and DFW credentials!!:T

(Land_of)_Maz

Alternatively, tell us all to mind our own business! lol :rotfl:

madmoney_2

im with the others on this, how can he justify spending on a laptop as an apology for spending in the first place? totally feel for you though, this is how my oh has been for ages and because he works full time and i only work part time i felt obliged to let him have his "toys", got really annoyed with him after lbm and he is slowly seeing the light, just come in after doin overtime at work with an extra 20 quid in his hand so we can treat ourselves this weekend without spending the council tax money. Sloooowly hes coming round!!!

supersavershal

Thanks for all your replies.You are all totally right.I have cancelled the laptop.I dont need one, I want one.I will get one but only when I have saved up the money and bought it cash.I dont know what id do without all you great people on here, you are like the angels on my shoulder fighting the devil (mr spendaholic).I have got a pc and a laptop (my sons) I just wanted a laptop for me, want ,want, want its got to stop.

SarahNeedle1872

Hi SSS, just found ur thread and wanted to say :hello:.....
I have an OH like urs at home, so I sympathise. My OH got so stroppy whilst I had control of his finances that this month, for the first time in over 6 months, he only gave me his half of the bills money.... and lo and behold, with two weeks left til payday, he doesn't have enough money to pay his phone bill + Sky bill + CC min payment! His weakness is going out... he thinks that because he works hard 4 nights a week, the other three should be spent being out with friends etc... Needless to say he will be :mad: when I refuse to give him any money, but tough! And I actualy thought he was beginning to change!
So people are just rubbish with money... I bailed him out once, but defo will not be doing it again! Oh, and I just happen to have receipts for all our 'stuff of value' in the house, and they're all in my name (just in case we ever get to the threat of baillifs coming rounds, altho I suspect one of us will be LONG gone by then!)

Good luck with Hubby, and keep posting

Sarah x