Broken

Oakdene

Thank you everyone for your replies & thoughts, been an incredibly difficult few days. Still have lots more questions I wished I could know the answer to. I guess time will heal whats raw now...

Oakdene

Genuinely thought she would come round & at least talk to me by now.

For the first time I am actually considering there could be someone else...

scooby088

In the end you tried everything, but what is important now is your daughter. It will be hard in the coming weeks and months and the best thing to do now is not have contact with her. It doesn't matter if there is someone else but what has made it obvious is that she has thought about the situation and decided it wasn't for her or that it wouldn't work which could be the case.

Hope everything works out for the best for you OP

MrsA2B

Hi, it sounds as though you have tried to bend over backwards to make this work and throw ideas around but sadly she's just not appearing to be interested...... My soon to be hubby works and lives 3.5 hours away - but it works because we want it to - im not getting that same impression from her, sadly - i hope theres no one else involved x

FBaby

How are things OP? Did you manage to speak to her? Frankly, if she truly cared and had feelings for you, she would give you at least that much: an explanation why you can't continue with the relationship living in separate homes.

justme111

Oakdene wrote: »

My daughter stays with my parents one evening a week. We at first tried living together part time at my now expartners house. I sought assurance at every step that she was ok with how things were progressing.



I have thought about that but I genuinely cannot see it, or even contemplate it.



I didn't think it was 'fine' for us to move in to her house, we had extensive talks about it & we both agreed that if our relationship was to be able to grow & for us to get a bigger house one of us would have to move jobs & location as commuting isn't an option.

I was offered a job, I took a little time to accept the offer as I myself had a wobble & wondered whether it would be too much for her, having two new people moving into her house. However she reassured me that it was a great opportunity for us to grow.

you did not reply my question - where does your daughter and you live at present.
I do not think you understood what I was saying - I was not saying you did not discuss your job move and move to her house with her. I said I would question a man who relies in his moves on accommodation of his woman. In my opinion you should not even have considered putting her under this pressure. You did not say you offered your ex to move your job and school while renting when discussing it originally. From your posts you did not even do it after she said you two will not work.

Oakdene

Apologies as have only now seen this

justme111 wrote: »

you did not reply my question - where does your daughter and you live at present.
I do not think you understood what I was saying - I was not saying you did not discuss your job move and move to her house with her. I said I would question a man who relies in his moves on accommodation of his woman. In my opinion you should not even have considered putting her under this pressure. You did not say you offered your ex to move your job and school while renting when discussing it originally. From your posts you did not even do it after she said you two will not work.

My daughter & I are with my mother as my dad works away.

As for relying on my now ex's accommodation I would say that is hugely unfair towards me as I offered to rent a house in that town but after talking I was persuaded that moving in full time would be best.

Anyways, sadly I haven't heard anything apart from a note to say that she cannot see a way past.

burlington6

One thing not to do is start hounding her with texts and phone calls because you want to sort things out or want an explanation.

I'm going to give you some advice, if you follow it, there MIGHT be a chance of getting her back. If you do what most men do in this situation and pursue her, there is NO CHANCE you'll get her back.

Stop all contact. When she contacts you ( which she will as long as you walk away ) tell her you love her, want to be with her so if she changes her mind to get in touch.

Then WALK AWAY. Don't initiate contact. If she contacts you keep it short, polite and brief. The idea of getting back together has to be hers. It wasn't your decision to split up and it won't be your decision to get back together, it has to be hers.

It might take time but it will at least give you a fighting chance. Calling, texting and chasing her will drive her further away.

The best way to get someones attention is to remove yours!

Good luck.

Oakdene

burlington6 wrote: »

One thing not to do is start hounding her with texts and phone calls because you want to sort things out or want an explanation.

I'm going to give you some advice, if you follow it, there MIGHT be a chance of getting her back. If you do what most men do in this situation and pursue her, there is NO CHANCE you'll get her back.

Stop all contact. When she contacts you ( which she will as long as you walk away ) tell her you love her, want to be with her so if she changes her mind to get in touch.

Then WALK AWAY. Don't initiate contact. If she contacts you keep it short, polite and brief. The idea of getting back together has to be hers. It wasn't your decision to split up and it won't be your decision to get back together, it has to be hers.

It might take time but it will at least give you a fighting chance. Calling, texting and chasing her will drive her further away.

The best way to get someones attention is to remove yours!

Good luck.

THank you will bear that in mind.

Unfortunately I'm not hopeful of hearing anything

justme111

Oakdene wrote: »

Apologies as have only now seen this





As for relying on my now ex's accommodation I would say that is hugely unfair towards me as I offered to rent a house in that town but after talking I was persuaded that moving in full time would be best.

How come so important piece of information (that it was her idea for you to move in , that she persuaded you to ,that you offered to rent a house ) only comes up after a few pages with many of your replies and is quite different to the original post where you used wording " extensively discussed" instead of "was persuaded" and somehow forgotten to mention you intended to rent independently. It is either you have serious issues with communication that are bound to affect your relationships or what you saying is not truth.
And really , you live with your parents because your farther works away ?