Girlfriend's pregnant...

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

Yes, you're right, the children of single mothers never achieve anything, certainly not if their mums were teenagers when they had them!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama

Well, we all know what the exception does....

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, we all know what the exception does....

Shows that its not a great idea to write people off before they're even born though, don't you think?

Poppie68

marksoton wrote: »

I was commenting on a post that seems to have the conclusion set in stone, he is making assumptions as am I when I say she may in the future go on to be a tax payer.

The op is being advised and told by some to get rid of their baby... It isn't something that should even be brought up unless advice is sought on this.
Some on here have got the op, girlfriend and unborn baby on the platform ready to be hung drawn and quartered just because she is young and unemployed....To be honest we don't even know if she is even unemployed, again another assumption!

bobbymotors

Poppie68 wrote: »

I was commenting on a post that seems to have the conclusion set in stone, he is making assumptions as am I when I say she may in the future go on to be a tax payer.

The op is being advised and told by some to get rid of their baby... It isn't something that should even be brought up unless advice is sought on this.
Some on here have got the op, girlfriend and unborn baby on the platform ready to be hung drawn and quartered just because she is young and unemployed....To be honest we don't even know if she is even unemployed, again another assumption!

Its already said she isn't working, he does.

Nothing wrong with anything they do or don't do as long as they don't want me to pay for it: why? because I worked hard for many years for my money, and wish to keep it for myself.

Selfish? probably
Wrong? probably not

I'm not saying they should get rid of their baby: what I am saying is that if they want one they should be able to afford to bring it up

Poppie68

Person_one wrote: »

Yes, you're right, the children of single mothers never achieve anything, certainly not if their mums were teenagers when they had them!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama

JK Rowling is another example of a single mum who has achieved a lot after being on state benefits for several years...I wonder how many wrote her off and she had been married and divorced previous to claiming... The ops girlfriend is only just starting off in life and with or without a baby she could become a great achiever or earn just enough to not have to claim any benefits.

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

Shows that its not a great idea to write people off before they're even born though, don't you think?

It isn't writing people off to be aware (both statistically and anecdotally) that children having children is a bad idea and less likely to lead to fulfilling lives for all those concerned.

Poppie68

bobbymotors wrote: »

Its already said she isn't working, he does.

Nothing wrong with anything they do or don't do as long as they don't want me to pay for it: why? because I worked hard for many years for my money, and wish to keep it for myself.

Selfish? probably
Wrong? probably not

I'm not saying they should get rid of their baby: what I am saying is that if they want one they should be able to afford to bring it up

I understand people being precious about their taxes, but this couple are young, one half is working the other may or may not be or be in full time education... They are both starting out and deserve the chance to prove themselves before being written off...The country is full of people claiming some kind of benefit and I bet some of the negative posters on this thread have claimed or are currently claiming, even if it is only child benefit they are still benefiting from the system.

Poppie68

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It isn't writing people off to be aware (both statistically and anecdotally) that children having children is a bad idea and less likely to lead to fulfilling lives for all those concerned.

I'm sure that many are too immature, but I'm equally sure many young parents have the capability to be great role model parents....

bobbymotors

Poppie68 wrote: »

I understand people being precious about their taxes, but this couple are young, one half is working the other may or may not be or be in full time education... They are both starting out and deserve the chance to prove themselves before being written off...The country is full of people claiming some kind of benefit and I bet some of the negative posters on this thread have claimed or are currently claiming, even if it is only child benefit they are still benefiting from the system.

But they've had the chance to prove they are responsible adults and are now expecting an unplanned baby...when the pill, condoms, etc are freely available.

So.. not all that responsible then after all.

As stated, do whatever you want with your own money, but please don't spend mine, I'll do that thanks

JencParker

Poppie68 wrote: »

FGS They are a couple, he works full-time....

Really? So why would this question be asked by the OP?


S"o if I'm not living with her then technically she's a single parent ?:S even if I'm around?"

I think whitewing's advice is the best. If they are not living together now, they need to find a place where they can so they can provide a home for their new addition.

whitewing wrote: »

In an ideal world, you and her should move in together as soon as you can to build a stable home for your new family.

How would you honestly feel about that? Are you ready to commit to your girlfriend as well as the child or does it feel you with dread?

When is the baby due?

I think also your girlfriend probably needs some professional emotional support, outside of you. Is she seeing a midwife?

Depending on her background (as I don't know what your girlfriend's circumstances are like), would she benefit from living with a foster carer who could help her become independent at looking after the baby? This may not be an option anyway in your area.

Whatever happens, the baby's health and happiness will take priority over you and your girlfriend, but then again a lot of young people are brilliant with children. I found being a single parent very tough and I was a bit older than you.