Help! Workmen from hell

spidermaaaan

I guess I put from hell as I am a little over emotional as I found the move very stressful. plus ex is making my life a nightmare
the 2 guys who run the shop seem like nice people. The shop owner came round to look at the doors and he was fuming and is offering to sort the doors out
I know people say I should have got a neighbour round but for me that is very stressful. I do not like anyone coming inside my house. I do not like meeting people ans prefer not to have friends. I never feel lonely or sad about it I am quite happy that way. It is pretty normal for people with Asperger's

hollydays

Op, it's good the owner is taking responsibility.
I wish you well with sorting this out.
You are doing a marvellous job dealing with all this, give yourself a pat on the back.:).

If you need to post about other stresses, there are other boards too.

Le_Kirk

^^^ Well said Hollydays.

wealdroam

spidermaaaan wrote: »

I do not like anyone coming inside my house. I do not like meeting people ans prefer not to have friends.

Then you'll have to do more things yourself, won't you?

Like moving the Christmas tree out of the room before carlet fitters arrive.

Like building up your strength to be able to move small things like packs of laminate flooring. If you can't manage even that, then opening the packs and moving it one plank at a time would've saved all your food.

If you're going to live in isolation then you need to learn to cope with these minor upsets.

hollydays

wealdroam wrote: »

Then you'll have to do more things yourself, won't you?

Like moving the Christmas tree out of the room before carlet fitters arrive.

Like building up your strength to be able to move small things like packs of laminate flooring. If you can't manage even that, then opening the packs and moving it one plank at a time would've saved all your food.

If you're going to live in isolation then you need to learn to cope with these minor upsets.

Ignore this post.
You are who you are, and that's just fine. The strength it will have taken to get out of an abusive relationship is the measure of you.
Take it easy and have a great Christmas op.

spidermaaaan

perhaps I should explain why I am a tad emotional at the moment.
In April my young son and I were forced to flee our house due to DV. last month my in laws found our where we were living so we have been forced to move again for our safety
I cannot lift heavy boxes due to a back injury for which I take medication.
I do not know my neighbours and get anxious around people.
I was given 30 minutes notice that the guys were coming and I had to leave for work in 15 minutes so I literally moved everything I could. I am never late for appointments with my customers as I work to a high level of professionalism and as we get no maintenance from ex I need to keep my customers happy
I do a lot for myself including running 2 businesses I set up from scratch, one when my son was only 10 weeks old
I do not view what has happened as a minor upset. my moving costs have been doubled my doors look like someone chewed at the bottoms with their teeth and I still have massive rolls of carpet all over my house and they promised to remove them. plus they have not given me the key back and this really frightens me as a single woman living with a young child
most people with Asperger's are not even capable of working. I do my best even though I feel awkward and anxious around people as I do not want to claim benefits
the main reason I steer well clear of neurotypicals is there a minority who bully and belittle vulnerable adults like me. guess you are one of that minority

RuthnJasper

spidermaaaan wrote: »

perhaps I should explain why I am a tad emotional at the moment.
In April my young son and I were forced to flee our house due to DV. last month my in laws found our where we were living so we have been forced to move again for our safety
I cannot lift heavy boxes due to a back injury for which I take medication.
I do not know my neighbours and get anxious around people.
I was given 30 minutes notice that the guys were coming and I had to leave for work in 15 minutes so I literally moved everything I could. I am never late for appointments with my customers as I work to a high level of professionalism and as we get no maintenance from ex I need to keep my customers happy
I do a lot for myself including running 2 businesses I set up from scratch, one when my son was only 10 weeks old
I do not view what has happened as a minor upset. my moving costs have been doubled my doors look like someone chewed at the bottoms with their teeth and I still have massive rolls of carpet all over my house and they promised to remove them. plus they have not given me the key back and this really frightens me as a single woman living with a young child
most people with Asperger's are not even capable of working. I do my best even though I feel awkward and anxious around people as I do not want to claim benefits
the main reason I steer well clear of neurotypicals is there a minority who bully and belittle vulnerable adults like me. guess you are one of that minority

You don't have to justify yourself sweetie. You're doing your best in a very difficult and unpleasant situation.

I'm sure as life gets more stable for you (and I hope it does), you will get a little more confident. You've been able to do the right things for the moment, which is liaise with the shop owner.

Obviously I'm only going by your own posts, but you suggest that he is rightly angry and keen to make amends. It's his business and reputation matters, particularly in more rural or isolated locations (and they don't know that you are unlikely to speak with neighbours at this point) so, as others suggest, give him a fair chance to put things right. If he lets you down then you can engage other workmen and report the first company to trading standards (I think you can do this online). But it may well be that he has been stitched up by the incompetent workmen just as much as you have.

Hope you have a happy outcome. Best wishes for Christmas to you and your little boy. xx

arcon5

hollydays wrote: »

Ignore this post.
You are who you are, and that's just fine. The strength it will have taken to get out of an abusive relationship is the measure of you.
Take it easy and have a great Christmas op.

If that's who op is then that is fine. Ops of course an individual and making her own decisions about her lifestyle, even if that lifestyle involves isolating herself.... however, the shop cannot be held financially responsible for a situation that could have easily been avoided but wasn't bcause of the lifestyle op has chosen. The food situation was avoidable, the fact it wasn't avoided is down to the fact op through whatever reason opted not to mitigate the situation. You can respect op for having strength to stand by her choice of lifestyle but you cannot expect others to pay for this

naedanger

arcon5 wrote: »

If that's who op is then that is fine. Ops of course an individual and making her own decisions about her lifestyle, even if that lifestyle involves isolating herself.... however, the shop cannot be held financially responsible for a situation that could have easily been avoided but wasn't bcause of the lifestyle op has chosen. The food situation was avoidable, the fact it wasn't avoided is down to the fact op through whatever reason opted not to mitigate the situation. You can respect op for having strength to stand by her choice of lifestyle but you cannot expect others to pay for this

The post that hollydays asked the op to ignore was not about the merits of the case the op raised.

So most of the points you are making don't seem to have any relevance to what hollydays asked the poster to ignore.

You also, in effect, say the op failed to mitigate the situation through choice. That is your view. However it would not be you who would decide. So I hope the op does not bother trying to change your view since they have no need to explain their circumstances to you.

hollydays

spidermaaaan wrote: »

perhaps I should explain why I am a tad emotional at the moment.
In April my young son and I were forced to flee our house due to DV. last month my in laws found our where we were living so we have been forced to move again for our safety
I cannot lift heavy boxes due to a back injury for which I take medication.
I do not know my neighbours and get anxious around people.
I was given 30 minutes notice that the guys were coming and I had to leave for work in 15 minutes so I literally moved everything I could. I am never late for appointments with my customers as I work to a high level of professionalism and as we get no maintenance from ex I need to keep my customers happy
I do a lot for myself including running 2 businesses I set up from scratch, one when my son was only 10 weeks old
I do not view what has happened as a minor upset. my moving costs have been doubled my doors look like someone chewed at the bottoms with their teeth and I still have massive rolls of carpet all over my house and they promised to remove them. plus they have not given me the key back and this really frightens me as a single woman living with a young child
most people with Asperger's are not even capable of working. I do my best even though I feel awkward and anxious around people as I do not want to claim benefits
the main reason I steer well clear of neurotypicals is there a minority who bully and belittle vulnerable adults like me. guess you are one of that minority

Spot on.i understand what you are saying perfectly well.
You are amazing. A total inspiration.
You've not had choices. You are who you are doing things in the only way you can. I don't see that should be difficult for the average person even with an average understanding of aspergers to understand