Should I subsidise others' meals?

tgroom57

I'd clarify with your sister what you mean by "half". Better to say, I'll go halves with you up to £(insert real number) but after that you're on your own. Otherwise you are writing her a blank cheque.

Pollycat

MSE_Fraser wrote: »

My sister and I are splitting the cost of Christmas dinner. She had invited 10 family members to her place for it but since has invited more.

Why do these 'weekly dilemmas' never have enough information in?

It doesn't say if the extra people invited (over & above the 10 family members) are the 'OP's' family or in-laws of the sister i.e. her family not the OP's.

MSE_Fraser wrote: »

Our family doesn't have much money, and I can't afford to pay half with the increase in cost. I earn much more than the rest of my family though, so should I ask them to chip in?

What would the 'family' do for Christmas lunch if the OP and her sister hadn't invited them?
Eat beans on toast?

heartbreak_star

My mum and myself get invited to Christmas dinner with OH's family. Generally she takes prosecco and I take chocolates. We did offer cash towards it once but they were more than happy for us to bring wine and sweets.

HBS x

Pollycat

Avatar73 wrote: »

I love wallys like these. Every week they decide to post merely to whinge about the fake dilemma.

Last week it turned out to actually be real, and the original person came back and added more info. Still got the same numptys whinging about it being fake first tho! :rotfl: Always very funny.

I think you may be in the minority.

In the thread you mention, the OP came back and clarified a lot of things, she also said she'd given much more information to MSE,
MSE then chopped it down so much the original post was so ambiguous that people went off on a tangent - and it was something that happened 18 years ago!

lisa110rry

This puts me in mind of something that happened when I was sub ten (almost half a century ago and in another country). A woman with an only child, a daughter, invited my mother and me to Christmas lunch. After the lunch the woman got out a pile of receipts, totted up the cost and asked my Mum for half. Mother was so angry at the rudeness! I can still see the family anger trait of nostril-flaring. The kid wasn't even a particular friend of mine, we just went to the same school, and the mother wasn't a friend of my mother. I did get our own back though, unwittingly. The child still believed in Father Christmas and I put her straight (not realising I shouldn't do that).

That episode stuck with me and I have friends round from time to time for meals. Sometimes get asked what they should bring, the answer is always "just yourself". Having said that, my friends have good manners and always bring wine or chocs or flowers.

janiebquick

duchy wrote: »

It really is.
They all appear to be written by very inexperienced staff with very limited life experience/skills who still live at home . Maybe what MSE needs is interns who are a bit older and have lived a bit.

Last year, I joined an online forum run by a major insurance company eliciting [STRIKE]ways to screw us[/STRIKE] our views on retirement planning The forum was run by a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears youngsters who had no life experience and could not cope with a group of people who had been around the block a few times and were very financially savvy. Not surprisingly, the whole thing folded acrimoniously.

happyinflorida

She shouldn't have invited more without asking you first if this was ok as you had agreed to pay half each.

I would point out to her that at the number you had when you agreed to pay half, you could afford half of that but now she has invited more you cannot.

I would point out what you've told us and say to her, either she pays the extra or gets the extra guests she's invited to pay something. Then it's her choice what she does.

You agreed to a certain amount. You are now being put in a position you cannot afford and that isn't fair.

Good luck!

happyinflorida

Pollycat wrote: »

I think you may be in the minority.

In the thread you mention, the OP came back and clarified a lot of things, she also said she'd given much more information to MSE,
MSE then chopped it down so much the original post was so ambiguous that people went off on a tangent - and it was something that happened 18 years ago!

I asked the question to find out what people thought - I did not tell the MSE team it was 18 years ago - the question was relevant to when ever it happened, whether it was still going on now or 25 years ago.

Talent

Why you no rissen, there's extry peeps since agreein'....

Wizzbang

I'm not going to repeat some of the wisdom that has already been shared. But this is MSE- you don't get into debt over anything, if you have a brain and an ounce of common sense- least of all Christmas which is 1 day out of 365.

A couple of other options that haven't been mentioned;
- you could offer to do the shopping- means you could buy the cheapest options and/ or make a lot of it yourself to save cash.
- meat is the most expensive part of the Christmas meal (if you eat meat). In my experience, even when catering for 10 people- buying a whole turkey is not the way to go. This surprised me, but I found Asda's rolled turkey breast/ ready to cook ones- 2 for £7 to be the cheapest option. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it at all and I had enough leftovers with pigs in blankets, stuffing balls and bread sauce to feed the same number of people on Boxing day with a homemade festive pie. Again absolutely delicious.
- other options- don't pay over-inflatd prices for Christmas meats- like ham, turkey, goose or salmon. Buy a couple of chickens instead.
- people can only eat what you put on their plates, so give them smaller portions. No-one does much to even get hungry on Christmas Day and they will often overeat. The portion size we actually need is usually MUCH smaller than most people dish out for themselves.
- you still have plenty of time to pull out, you don't have to agree to this and you don't have to go. Have a Christmas you can afford at your home, if that's what you need to do.