Should I subsidise others' meals?

TBagpuss

You need to have a conversation with your sister. Explain to her that you have budgeted on the X number of people that you and she originally planned for and that you had not anticipated or planned for her to add extra people without discussing it with you.
She may turn round and say that she doesn't expect you to pay for the additional people, but if not, you my have to suggest that the two of you sit down and talk about the meal itself, and ways you can keep it to the original budget.

pollypenny

If you're splitting anyway a couple more wont make a huge difference, surely?

minicooper272

If you have so many people coming round, ask them to help you out by each bringing some food – get someone to bring crackers and cheese, someone to bring dessert, someone to bring a couple of sides and someone to bring some nibbles. With so many guests, I’m sure they will understand it’s hard for you guys to handle everything in one kitchen! I would also allocate certain foods to certain family members, just so you don’t end up with all 10+ guests bringing dessert. It will also allow you and your sister to work out exactly what is still needed, so you would only be in charge of the chicken, stuffing and humongous bag of potatoes, which will make things a lot cheaper for you both too.

gloriouslyhappy

TBagpuss wrote: »

You need to have a conversation with your sister. Explain to her that you have budgeted on the X number of people that you and she originally planned for and that you had not anticipated or planned for her to add extra people without discussing it with you.
She may turn round and say that she doesn't expect you to pay for the additional people, but if not, you my have to suggest that the two of you sit down and talk about the meal itself, and ways you can keep it to the original budget.

Definitely have a discussion about it, she might agree to pay more for her 'half' of the costs as she's invited more than the originally agreed number, but otherwise, do re-plan the meal - as someone said, more spuds and veggies don't cost a lot, add baskets of bread rolls to bulk up the table, serve £shop cheap crisps & nuts first to fill up a little, and let the guests know that bringing wine, soft drinks, chocs etc would be very much appreciated.

Most people expect to bring something along, especially to a festive meal, and in my family we channel this so we don't get all wine and no chocs, by suggesting what various people should bring, ie asking non drinkers to bring juice, older teenagers to bring chocs, etc. No one has ever objected, we're all still talking and getting on well!

It's about having fun and not stressing too much - everyone can afford £shop chocs and biscuits, no matter how broke, so don't hesitate to ask your guests - in fact, I imagine most of them have offered already. If someone really, truly, is so broke they can't afford £1 for some Malteasers, then take away their embarrassment by designating them as chief washer-up - that service is surely worth a lot!

gloriouslyhappy

MSE_Fraser wrote: »

should I ask them to chip in?

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Should I invite people for christmas dinner and expect them to pay for it?

No - you should not

Jagraf wrote: »

I make everyone pay when they come for dinner. £10 and entry into a free raffle. What a bizarre question.

Homeownertobe wrote: »

What an appalling question. Of course you shouldn't.

The question was about whether or not to ask people to chip in - that doesn't necessarily mean money, few people would expect to pay cash for a family meal not held at a restaurant, but asking people to chip in is fair enough - if you usually bring a bottle or similar when invited to a normal meal, then being asked to bring a little something extra to a festive meal (wine AND chocs) is, IMHO, an extremely reasonable request, not in the least bizarre or appalling.

Christmas is not about one person going broke and struggling alone in the kitchen while the extended family parties merrily, it's about sharing a special time together, and that means everyone doing a little bit too.

janiebquick

You need to sort this out with your sister as to how the costs are split, not the rest of your family.

JayD

You don't make it clear as to whether this meal is for just family members or if your sister has added in her friends. In any case - this is your sister! Not a stranger who you would understandably find difficult to approach on such matters. So TALK to her about it!

As with so many of these 'should I pay all of this/more than what I think is fair/I earn less than the otehrs (although in your cae more ... ' questions in this Moral Dilemma section - such things should have been clearly discussed and sorted before the problem arose.

And again, as with so many dilemmas, you need to TALK about the problem you are having with the person who you think is causing it.

Personally I am surprised that, if so many people are coming for this meal and they know they are part of a huge gathering, none of them have made any offer to contribute in some way towards the cost of it already.

duchy

Homeownertobe wrote: »

What an appalling question. Of course you shouldn't.

These planted questions are getting more ridiculous by the week. It's quite 'brand damaging' for MSE, really.

It really is.
They all appear to be written by very inexperienced staff with very limited life experience/skills who still live at home . Maybe what MSE needs is interns who are a bit older and have lived a bit.

SailorSam

Avatar73 wrote: »

I love wallys like these. Every week they decide to post merely to whinge about the fake dilemma.

Last week it turned out to actually be real, and the original person came back and added more info. Still got the same numptys whinging about it being fake first tho! :rotfl: Always very funny.

Part of what makes Mse a good forum is, you can come here and have an argument without anyone getting upset. It's just banter. And the job of those at Mse towers is to make up false threads just to start the fight going.

System

Well i'd pay without question but i would tell her that you didnt appreciate not being consulted about the extra people she wanted to invite.