Is it OK to send cheque in post as wedding gift?

takman

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Seriously? How ungrateful can you get? A cheque IS a very nice present IMO. Yes, a bank transfer might be easier for a lot of people who don't get into town often (myself included), but for some people a cheque is their prefered way of sending cash.

We got a lot of cheques for our wedding, mainly off older friends and relatives, as that's what they prefer and what they are used to sending. Yes, nowadays it perhaps isn't the most confident way of sending cash, but we were still grateful for each and every one.

It's someone sending you their hard earned cash, which you should accept with gratitude.

But the OP is posting on an Internet forum so they have access to the Internet and know how to use it enough to do online banking. This means that they have better methods available to send money so by choosing a method that is more inconvenient for the recipient is not a good present. If the person only had the option of cash or cheque then the cheque would be a good present because it is the most secure method.

When sending a present to someone I always choose the present that they would like the most (which I assume is what most people do). So sending a cheque which takes days to clear and most people find inconvenient is not a good present when you have better money transfer methods available.

It would be like giving someone £100 in 1p coins when you have two £50 notes in your wallet. Both methods result in a present of £100 but one method is very inconvenient and causes unnecessary hassle when they want to spend the money.

Georgiegirl256

The OP has the internet yes, but I was replying to your post that said a cheque is not a good present. I don't disagree with all those who say it's not the most convenient present, I totally agree with that as I don't get into town often myself, and would much prefer cash, bank transfer etc. I've got a cheque in my bag that's been there for months! Luckily it's only for about £3, but for a larger amount, or for one that was a gift I would make a special effort to get to the bank to cash it, not just for my own sake, but also for the person who sent me it.

But, for some people (usually of the older generation), the cheque book is still their preferred method of payment. They use it a lot and know where they are with it. My Mam being one of them. If she's giving money to someone local and knows that they would prefer cash, then she'll do that. But if she's sending a monetary gift through the post then obviously she won't use cash but will send a cheque.

Again, I don't disagree that cheques are more hassle for people who don't often get into town, but to grumble that a cheque is not a good gift when someone who perhaps doesn't have any other methods of payment takes the time and spends their money on you is just bad manners in my opinion.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I hate everything about giving at modern weddings. That includes gift lists and the lazy bluntness of just handing over money. I try to buy vouchers that reflect the couples' taste (eg cinema, for a chain I know is their local, theatre for those who go out in London a lot etc), or as a default John Lewis vouchers (which can be redeemed online and are surely always useful). I also try and get a small physical item that shows some thought; eg a neutral tasteful picture frame (often with a comedy collage of some less flattering pics of the couple).

I know I'm in a dwindling minority in finding gift lists and cash vulgar. I prefer to give in the spirit of friendship; that to me means a gift based on my knowledge of their tastes and quirks, given knowing I may get it wrong and they end up charity shopping it, but not being offended by that.

duchy

To be honest so many threads about weddings are so Me Me Me with no regard for looking after the guests that I suppose the attitudes expressed by some aren't too surprising.

However just to say as I'm getting married next year I'm very happy to accept cheques and pay them into my bank without grumbling or been ungrateful I'll accept them in the spirit they are given.

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

I hate everything about giving at modern weddings. That includes gift lists and the lazy bluntness of just handing over money. I try to buy vouchers that reflect the couples' taste (eg cinema, for a chain I know is their local, theatre for those who go out in London a lot etc), or as a default John Lewis vouchers (which can be redeemed online and are surely always useful). I also try and get a small physical item that shows some thought; eg a neutral tasteful picture frame (often with a comedy collage of some less flattering pics of the couple).

I know I'm in a dwindling minority in finding gift lists and cash vulgar. I prefer to give in the spirit of friendship; that to me means a gift based on my knowledge of their tastes and quirks, given knowing I may get it wrong and they end up charity shopping it, but not being offended by that.