I am really struggling with christmas

pickledonionspaceraider

Moonbean wrote: »

A girl in work - up to £15
Another girl in work - £15
£12 towards a girl in work bday present

Buying £42 worth of 'work friend' gifts when you have only £100 spare - Get a grip

How is it festive to pile on this kind of pressure to yourself?

Just stop. Yes it is that easy.

Opt out. I stopped years back. You spend £15 on me, and I will spend £15 on you = we both end up wth £15 worth of something we don't want nor can afford, just for the sake of giving each other a little something in the name of Jesus's Birthday

Complete fakery

mandco

Moonbean wrote: »

This is a huge confidence thing for me to tRyan and be valued as the rest of my family. I feel like I been devided out from the family a little bit.

Should I take back the stuff I have and just do biscuits for the adults as a couple and some wine then the kids are done ?

I brought loads of sets for like 8.50 ?

I would def take back what you can and re buy cheaper gifts its the thought that counts not how much you spend and people who really care about you wouldn't want you to struggle or get in debt.

asda have lots of lovely gift sets 3 for £10 so you could buy for 3 people for not much more than you've spent on 1 which adds up to big savings.
for the girls at work just because they would spend £15 on you doesn't mean you can afford to do the same but if you really feel you must look at something like the sanctury gift sets in boots they do a lovely tins for £14 and 3 for 2 so you could get something for someone else while still getting them a £15 value gift.
for you boyfriends mum & sister who you don't speak to get calendars from the card factory 2 for £1

ciderwithrosie_2

We stopped the buying for siblings, their partners and nieces and nephews years ago, now I only get presents for our 3 boys, the OH, my parents, his parents and a £5 secret Santa gift for work and I start buying a few things from August/September onwards. If I bought any earlier, I'd probably forget what I'd got and where I'd put it!

DS3 likes to get little gifts for his friends, so one year I helped him make homemade truffles (2 sorts) and presented them nicely in cellophane bags with curly ribbons. Didn't cost much, but looked good!

mai_taylor

missbiggles1 wrote: »

The problem is that the OP's buying presents for his/her boyfriend's relatives (whether they're liked or not) and for people at work because this is expected. In this situation, prioritising is what's important and not just buying for its own sake or because it's expected. Spreading the cost over the year isn't a solution to this problem.

For me work people would be a prority, she is going to be seeing them them most often, how awkward would it be for her at work if these girls spent £15 on her and she got them nothing? I agree say no next year but if it was already agreed this year she should have made sure she had the money to do it. Spreading the cost over the year is no good for this year but will make sure she's never in the situation again, she knew well in advance who she had to buy for so why not budget for it? If she has £150 to spend to get everyone's presents why spend it all then realise you have another 10 people to buy for? Doesn't seem to make sense to me.

Katiehound

Quite a lot of gift sets in Mr T today at half price. You could easily buy a big set and divi it up into several gifts.

Moonbean

To be honest i completely forgot about christmas - things have been an awful blur lately. I thiught i had more money than I did but i never. And I never knew what the price range was in work, and i wasn't expecting to buy for my boyfriends family.

Pollycat

So what is your plan?

How come you weren't expecting to buy for your boyfriend's family but are now?
Has he asked you to contribute to presents for them?
Or told you that you must buy for them?
Why on earth are you buying for people you don't speak to?
Can you see how silly that is?

Who set the price range in work?
When did you find out that it was £15 per person?
From what you said in an earlier post, you've already bought a lot of presents so it's a bit late to ask for advice but if you haven't already spent £15 each on the girls at work, can you tell them that's not a viable option for you?

Moonbean

one of the girls in work said she does'nt wat much - so i am like...what the point in saying yes then not wanting anything... so a small token gift would be appriciated,
and I found out last week.

i can see how silly it is but i have to.

Pollycat

Moonbean wrote: »

i can see how silly it is but i have to.

Have to buy for people you're not speaking to.....?

The only advice I can offer is to have a long, hard think about next Christmas and whether you want to spend your hard-earned cash on people at work, people you don't speak to, people who buy you cheap crap but expect you to spend a lot on their kids.....

Lots of people have decided that it's time to cut back on spending at Christmas, you wouldn't be the only one.

kerri_gt

Pollycat wrote: »

Have to buy for people you're not speaking to.....?

The only advice I can offer is to have a long, hard think about next Christmas and whether you want to spend your hard-earned cash on people at work, people you don't speak to, people who buy you cheap crap but expect you to spend a lot on their kids.....

Lots of people have decided that it's time to cut back on spending at Christmas, you wouldn't be the only one.

I don't mean to be blunt here (well yes I do) but to add to this, if you don't speak to certain people on your list, how exactly are you going to be giving them the gifts? Surely that will require some kind of interaction? It doesn't sound like you're going to be spending a fuzzy festive time with them. Is your BF expecting to collect the gifts from you and trot off round to his family like Santa while you worry about what they've cost you?
If you don't speak to them, how would you even know what they like?

As for the girl at work, perhaps she has picked up on your anxiety and is trying to make it easier for you not to feel forced into spending a set amount. Perhaps she is also struggling financially.