I am really struggling with christmas

MoneyMission2015

If you have to buy vouchers, try somewhere like zeek. It's a phone app and people sell gift vouchers on there at discounted prices. It is legit, I've bought 3 vouchers from there and they've all worked.


Also Tesco Gift cards, I managed to get some iTunes vouchers, £15 value for £10. But that was an offer they were doing, so not sure if the offer is still running.


As for spending the same amount on people as they spend on you, how do you know they haven't got that item at a knock down price. Example, I was eyeing up a dress in River Island the other day, it was £40. A few days before the run up to Black Friday they had a flash sale and I got the dress for £10!! They could have had vouchers, discount codes, or even bought it in the Boots 3 for 2 so technically your gift might not have cost them anything


Also, not meaning any offense, but why are you buying your boyfriends family Christmas presents when you don't even speak to them anymore? Just send them a card & maybe a box of chocolates if you are trying to build bridges, but don't waste your money on somebody who doesn't bother with you.


With the sets you have already bought, how about splitting them up to make smaller gift sets?

7roland8

Yes I get items on sale through the year and that's what most get, don't worry that things might not have cost much. It's the thought that counts and if they think differently it doesn't bother me.

MrsCD

M&S have 3for2 on boxed Amarillis bulbs costing £5 each, or £7 each, which is something they will keep for a few years if they look after it. For the grown ups.
Thefrugalgirls.com have homemade gifts which don't cost a lot to make.
Could you make truffles or biscuits and package in a jar with pretty ribbon?
I agree on cutting back on who to buy for. We stopped extended family years ago as we all agreed it was costing too much. It's awkward if others don't agree though.
Could you buy or make something for £10-ish for work colleagues - if it's packaged nicely it could look more expensive!
If you leave bf to buy for his own, you can manage with what you have.
Buy mugs in pound shop and make snowman soup. Hot chocolate powder and mini marshmallows in a greaseproof paper cone.Melt chocolate to make lollipops in ice cube trays and wrap in greaseproof paper. These for the younger cousins.

Sorry for the muddled post as I'm typing on my kindle and the words sometimes don't behave!

Pollycat

Lots of great advice, OP.

I would definitely get in early next year and tell a lot of people on your list that you are not doing Xmas presents in 2016 - and birthday gifts too if that works for you.

No point at all stressing yourself out and busting your budget to buy gifts for someone because 'they are buying you one' or because 'it's expected of you'.

j1n

Lottery tickets for the adults? That's what a friend of mine use to do when she was hard up. Just an idea.

cazpumpkin

For this Christmas I would go into Pound land and buy all ten people a book . They do adult books and children's books, they do very nice hardback books, I think they just get last year's stock from somewhere else or something, that will cost you £10 in total and that will be the job done. A lot of the hardback books are £12.99 or £16.99 on the back and they are very good quality.

Now even if some people are very suspicious of why they all got books, where they came from or how much they cost, that will be your opportunity in the spring/summer to say I'm not doing Christmas presents anymore, I don't earn enough and/or I want to buy for my immediate family only.

As for next year my priorities would be:

Boyfriend
Mum and Dad
Siblings
Grandparents

Out of those, if you talk to them, they may all be happy with a card. Otherwise, set a £20 limit on your boyfriend, a £10 limit on a joint present for your mum and dad, a £5 limit on siblings and a £5 limit on a joint present for your grandparents.

And make very sure you tell them that is your budget, the exact amount and it does not mean you do not love them, but that you have drawn up a limit and a budget for all the people you have to buy for and that is what you have allocated to them, if they are not happy with that, that is their problem, they should be proud of you for being so sensible.

I mean I work and I'm not even on a budget and I don't really spend more than that, there's no need to spend a lot to get nice presents.

So this is how it might play out ...Mum and Dad ..You could buy something like a poinsettia from Marks and Spencer's. They have them for £6 in a gold pot, that's just off the top of my head, I'm sure you could find them cheaper somewhere else.

You did say your grandfather likes sweets, the obvious solution is a tub of sweets, for 4 or 5 quid there are lots of different types in the supermarkets.

Boyfriend...Well just to let you know my budget for my husband is £20 a year and I never have any problems finding things for him, nice things. Only you can know what your boyfriend likes, what his hobbies are. My husband likes to go out running and I bought him a running jacket on the TK Maxx website. It is a brand called Ronhill and this Jacket was reduced from £130 to £19.99. When I went on the Ronhill website, the jackets really are £130 and the only reason this particular jacket was reduced to £20, is because it is autumn winter 2014 rather than autumn winter 2015.

Siblings.. For £5 each you could buy them gift sets from Boots on a 3 for 2, I have seen lots of gift sets in Superdrug for under £5. You could even just buy them their favourite magazine.

Work... I would speak to work and say you are only ever contributing a maximum of £5 on a secret Santa and will not be doing birthday or wedding collections. They do not pay you enough to dictate that you have to be forced into these collections.

If I had £100 left for the month I would not be spending £30 on two girls at work even if I had promised it I would immediately go to the people Sorting out the presents and tell them I had no money left And that I am very sorry but I cannot take part if they told me I could pay it back in the new year I would refuse and say I do not want to get into debt even if they got angry with me because I had expensive presents earlier in the year I would just keep apologizing and keep refusing you have to be firm.

I would go to the two girls and apologize in person and invite them round to my house for a lovely cooked meal instead

Again as for children of the family unless they were my own children, my brothers and sisters children, I would not buy other children presents. That goes for cousins, boyfriend's family , next door neighbours , anybody.

Where you feel absolutely compelled to buy for a child go into Wilkinson's and buy them a selection box for £3 and wrap that up, or go to Poundland and buy a book or children's DVD.

And as for the relative who buys you stuff for £2 and expects you to buy them expensive presents, you have to admire them for being very sensible. Take a tip out of a book and buy them their presents in Poundland too or better still cross them right off your list.

All three of my children work and earn good money and when they ask me what do I want for Christmas, I'm quite happy with things around the £5 Mark For example fluffy bed socks from TK Maxx Or Dove bath bubble bath gift sets from somewhere like Savers, I'm easily pleased.

Yes sometimes I sit and I dream about having a Michael Kors handbag or a Kate Spade wallet but their just material possessions they wouldn't make me any happier.

Find out the things that your mum and dad, grandparents, siblings and boyfriend like and tailor it to them. One year I just didn't know what to get my husband. He doesn't really like stuff, it just get stuffed in a drawer. So I bought him a bag of prawns and a couple of large steaks. He was very happy with that.

Please excuse any typos and My stupid phone which has a bad habit of putting capital letters in all over the place!!

Kim_kim

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You really haven't grasped the Christmas philosophy, have you?

I hate the Christmas trade of gifts. She spends X on me so I spend X on her, he buys me a boots voucher for y so I buy him an M&S voucher for y!!!

I prefer gifts where it's a one way gift, like my grandchildren or the people I manage at work.

I think it spoils it when it's a mere swap.

Pollycat

Kim_kim wrote: »

I hate the Christmas trade of gifts. She spends X on me so I spend X on her, he buys me a boots voucher for y so I buy him an M&S voucher for y!!!

I prefer gifts where it's a one way gift, like my grandchildren or the people I manage at work.

I think it spoils it when it's a mere swap.

I think it's lovely when I find the perfect gift for my friend or OH.
Likewise, when I'm given a gift that clearly shows the person knows me & my taste really well & has put a lot if thought into the 'perfect gift', it's (to quote Mastercard) priceless.

I agree that swopping tins of biscuits or bottles of wine is pretty meaningless.

mai_taylor

I don't think the issue here is that the op can't afford Christmas presents but that she hasn't forward planned / budgeted for them. No way could I afford to get everyone's present on one months wages that's why I started my Christmas shopping in September. If you only had £150 to spend you should have got everyone's presents with that £150. I would take eveything back, sit down and work out a budget. Look online and get the best deals possible.

I do understand the pressure from work, I have 4 people to buy for who I work with, they all get me a present and there's no way I would not buy for them. If £15 is the budget there's plenty of gifts that were £15 down to half price or more. If you leave it late places like BHS and Debenhams always reduce there gifts by massive amounts.

mai_taylor

Kim_kim wrote: »

I hate the Christmas trade of gifts. She spends X on me so I spend X on her, he buys me a boots voucher for y so I buy him an M&S voucher for y!!!

I prefer gifts where it's a one way gift, like my grandchildren or the people I manage at work.

I think it spoils it when it's a mere swap.

I love buying gifts for my close family. Spoiling my H at Christmas and showing thought into what I get him is my favourite part.