I am really struggling with christmas

Al1x

For your work friends look for something that is £15 full price but cheaper on special offer.

The boots gifts above are really nice and no one has to know that one of the items was free.

whitewing

Christmas is only stressful if you go over budget.

It is possible to get a thoughtful gift on a tiny budget (or thoughtless on an extravagant budget), and wrap it beautifully - maybe using decorations that you already have.

Nargleblast

The sets you mention, are they toiletries? Could they be split up and spread among different people to form part of a present along with, for example, some Christmas theme socks and some nice chocolate? What I mean is, could you take what you have already and reorganise it so all the gifts cover all those on your list, and you don't have to spend any more?

One thing is sure - whatever you do, you will be in the wrong with some of them, no matter how hard you try. At least then you know which [STRIKE]ungrateful sods[/STRIKE] relatives to cross off your list in future.

As others have said, it is not worth upsetting yourself and getting into debt for.

Moonbean

Not really...it's for the men in the family and so need to get the girls.

suki1964

We gave up on pressies years ago and it's so liberating

Hubby and me get a token gift for each other, last year he got me a book I wanted from a charity shop, I got him some metal puzzles

I do the secret Santa at work, that £5

Mum gets a pressie cos it's her birthday on Christmas Eve , usually a gift token towards a hair do and some fancy chocolates

We spend on the grand kids only. The kids get token pressies, last year I gave our daughter love to shop vouchers that I had earned during the year, and it will no doubt be the same this year, plus something I've picked up during the sales or is in my re gift pile


Even when money wasn't an issue, I still never spent loads of money on thoughtless tatt. I decided how much I could afford and shopped accordingly. One year I gave my best friends parents ( who were so very good to me) a four pack of tonic and a bag of lemons ( they drank gin). They loved it

Just say you are no longer buying into the Christmas mad spending and stop doing it. You will feel so much better for it

kerri_gt

Firstly, if you are made to feel you have to buy for anyone in order to feel valued, they are not someone you should be wasting time seeking their approval of your worth from. A person is who they are and what they do, not what they dole out at Xmas.

Secondly, I bet that there are some on that list who will also feel the same about presents, for the number of unwanted gifts people send / receive, we may as well just hand each other a tenner on Xmas day IYKWIM.

The number of adults me and OH buy for has drastically reduced (he's from a large family) now it's mainly children and then after 18 it's stopped. Myself and DB have agreed Christmas socks as a new tradition between us and our OH's as a token funny gift.

If you don't already do surveys etc where you could've earned vouchers, why not swap some of these voucher ideas for 3 for 2 gifts, then you 'only' spend £20 to get 3 x £10 gifts

I agree your BF family should really be his responsibility, if you want to get a small box of chocs or some flowers if you go to visit, I'm sure that would be appreciated.

If you bake perhaps you could make some of the adults home made presents, a nice cake wrapped in greaseproof paper, and fcellophane (lidl currently have some nice Xmas wrapping films in ATM 99p per role) and tied with simpe string looks effective. I try and make home made things for my uncles and aunts as they don't need anything as such but appreciate the time / effort into me making something. be careful though that if you don't have ingredients in, buying them all can add up.

and (you might not feel up to doing this) there are a lot of charities where you can 'gift' an item - such as donate £3 for a bale of hay at a horse sanctuary, £X for a bowl of rice for children abroad, gift the value of a goat to a farming family etc. many places will send a gift certificate for the person whom you're giving for. For instance I once gifted chickens to a family in India as a gift to my friend who was emigrating. She appreciated it as didn't want / need more stuff to pack, and she used it keep chickens herself so it was meaningful.

You could also choose to spend an amount on socks / gloves for the homes less in your area or food for your local food bank and declare you've done that instead of gift for some on your list....based on the impression you give of some of the recipients, I know who would be more grateful.

7roland8

Don't give money or vouchers, you can buy a gift cheaper. Never spend £15 even on lifelong friends, always under £10.

The were nice poinsettias plants in Morrison's today for 1:50.

Older relatives would probably prefer your time and company.

Decide what YOO can afford. You'll never please everyone so just please yourself.

Hedgehog99

However you decide to manage this year's Christmas, try to agree with everyone in the New Year (before the first birthday of anyone you'd buy for) what you all think is reasonable for birthdays and Christmas, taking into account the lowest earner's budget.

The work presents definitely need reducing!! My work is "cards only". Where I used to work, everyone just put one card to everyone else on the notice board in the tea room. It still decorated the place without wasting money. The Secret Santa budget was £5.

I do understand the pressure you feel, but stand up for yourself. I once worked somewhere where the boss bought someone a very expensive leaving present, without consulting anyone first, then asked someone to go round guilt-tripping everyone else who was on a third of the boss' salary to pay an equal share. I refused and opted out of communal leaving gifts after that & just bought something small, but personally chosen that the recipient would appreciate.

Money can't buy you love as the song goes. If anyone is ungrateful for a gift, they don't deserve anything.

C_Mababejive

I guess this is not much help to the OP but why oh why do we torture ourselves with this rubbish every year? I for one couldnt give two hoots if i received nothing and in fact, i would prefer it that way. I have little need of material possessions and the last thing i want is someone rushing around like a lunatic and getting in debt to buy stuff. No,,im quite happy for us all to gather around on Xmas day, have a lovely relaxing family meal, maybe attend church and/or settle down with a nice glass of wine and a service/carols on tv..call me a crashing bore if you like..

missbiggles1

Moonbean wrote: »

I'd spendefinitely £30 for girls in work because they'd spend the same on me.

My grandad doesn't want much , can't have much because of the size of their house. He likes sweets and not much else

You really haven't grasped the Christmas philosophy, have you?