I am really struggling with christmas

Moonbean

thank you everyone - the photos are a good idea but we have no nice photos to put in.
I was just looking for gifts and for my cousins I'll buy them a few make up accserory kit bits

and tins for family members at like £3 each. ?

Luckystar

Sounds like you have a lot of people to buy for that aren't really close family or friends, Christmas can get out of hand when that happens. Do you have any Tesco clubcard vouchers you could use as they are double the value on loads of items at the moment, hth

Moonbean

Hedgehog99 wrote: »

Ideally, you'd have told people earlier (in case they've already got yours), but definitely agree with others who've said just tell people you can't afford it & not to get you anything in return.

£15 each on two colleagues? I might spend that on a good friend, but no way on a work friend. Christmas can escalate and before you know it it's £20.. £25... £30.

£12 towards a colleague's birthday present? What's the total value from all of you? Unless it's a really special birthday, that's way too much. If the amount was suggested by someone senior, they should bear in mind the ability to contribute of those on lower salaries.

Definitely don't need to buy for people you're not even speaking to!

I work in a posh nursery and we do get really nice gifts. Both will probably get vouchers because one don't want an awful lot and the other I don't know too well.

and the birthday is a special - its a 60th and we're going to get something nice for her

Moonbean

no, no vouchers only £2.50 aha

duchy

Why would you buy presents for people you don't speak to ?

If you feel you have to turn up with "something" eg if you are going there for a meal over Christmas which sounds unlikely then buy a joint family present like a tin of Quality Street for the BF's parents and siblings

BF's Aunt and Uncle - Your BF's family so his present is tagged from both of you

Your two younger cousin's - How young ? What sex ? Selection boxes - and if the parents are crass enough to complain - that's their problem.

Defacto God parents - box of Matchmakers - they probably don't expect anything so it's a token gift and gesture

People at work - Just tell them you are broke so only doing family gifts this year and suggest secret santa or you all buy a tin of sweets or cookies etc to share at work (They may be relieved too)

Nan and grandad probably don't want anything and wouldn't want you to struggle so maybe something sensible like scarf or gloves.Maybe get BF to contribute to this.

BFs nan birthday present - go joint with your BF - You don't expect him to buy seperate presents to you for your grandparents do you ?

No-one expects presents that are lavish if they know you haven't much money. The pressure you are under is coming from you - Ignore the adverts and focus on making them personal (eg if you buy a scarf - choose one you know will go well with their winter coat etc)

Judging by how little you have left after bills (do you live alone or is your BF also contributing?) the posh nursery doesn't pay especially well . Usually these places you are over-run with gifts from parents anyway so why not suggest you just do secret santa with a low limit and it must be a funny gift. You probably aren't the only one who could do without paying out money to people you only work with and don't even know very well.

Moonbean

it kicks up such a huge fuss & divides the family because "I didn't make enough effort,favourites,dislikes etc..." or some B.S like that (sorry for language)

I have to buy for people at work because I agreed to do it last year, and i already said yeah.
so its unfair if i pull out now, i just didn't think christmas would cost this much!

younger cousins -
12 & 17 both girls

Nargleblast

Do all these people buy you nice presents in return, chosen with care and thoughtfulness?

Your options - 1. Carry on stressing yourself out spending money you can't afford on people who won't appreciate it, and ending up in debt. 2. Use these forums to find suggestions for gifts that won't cost too much - but, will the recipients be grateful? 3. Announce to everyone that you will only buy token gifts for adults this year. 4. Announce to everyone that you will not be giving presents to anybody, you will be making a donation to charity to help less fortunate people have a happy Christmas, and that you would like them to do the same instead of buying you anything.

Option 1 - you will end up in debt and seriously ill with stress.
Option 2 - you will be labelled the family cheapskate.
Options 3 and 4 - you will definitely be in the doghouse this year, but you will at least have stood up to the rest of the tribe, and it will get easier as time goes by.

Moonbean

so what option do i have...:(

whitewing

cousins - chunky or fluffy socks for lounging in, some hot chocolate and marshmallows and squirty cream.

duchy

Moonbean wrote: »

it kicks up such a huge fuss & divides the family because "I didn't make enough effort,favourites,dislikes etc..." or some B.S like that (sorry for language)

I have to buy for people at work because I agreed to do it last year, and i already said yeah.
so its unfair if i pull out now, i just didn't think christmas would cost this much!

younger cousins -
12 & 17 both girls

It takes one year of you refusing to play the game - and people will realize you aren't playing the family's game. I don't quite understand the dynamic at work that you are made to agree one year to spend thirty quid on presents and that means you must always do it every Christmas.

You sound very young - maybe now is the time to decide if getting into debt to keep the peace is the kind of grown up you want to be or if there is a better way for you. Too many people get into debt, get stressed or depressed and end up dreading the Christmas season because they won''t say no to been the victim of a consumer market. You can say No- and more and more people are doing so every year (and lots more wish they had the guts to do it) and give small thoughtful gifts just to the people who actually matter.